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THE UNPUBLISHED 

LETTERS AND CORRESPONDENCE 



OF 



MRS. ISABELLA GRAHAM, 

> < 

FROM THE YEAR 1767 TO 1814 ; 

EXHIBITING HER RELIGIOUS CHARACTER 

IN THE 

DIFFERENT RELATIONS OF LIFE. 



SELECTED AND ARRANGED BY HER DAUGHTER 






MRS. BETHUNE. 



" One thing is needful."— Luke x. 42. 



1 



-. 

NEW-YORK: 



JOHN S. TAYLOR, 

THEOLOGICAL AND SUNDAY SCHOOL BOOKSELLER, 
BRICK CHURCH CHAPEL, 

CORNER OF PARK ROW AND SPRUCE STREET. 

1838. 



Entered according to Act of Congress of the United States of America, by 

JOANNA BETHUNE, 

In the Clerk's Office of the Southern District of New-York. 



33^ 



SCOTT AND CO. 

FBINTER8. 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE. 

Introduction 7 

LETTERS. 

To Mr. John Davidson, Rector of the Grammar School, 

Paisley 13 

To Mr. and Mrs. Marshall, Eldersley 20 

To Mrs. Marshall 28 

Mrs. Marshall to Mrs. Graham 37 

From the same to the same 40 

Mrs. Graham to Doctor Graham, Niagara 42 

Mrs. Marshall to Mrs. Graham 46 

To Mrs. Marshall, Eldersley 48 

To Mrs. Marshall 53 

Doctor Graham to Mrs. Graham, Schenectady 57 

Mrs. Graham to Doctor Graham 59 

Doctor Graham to Mrs. Graham, Schenectady 63 

From the same to the same 65 

From the same to the same, Antigua 70 

Mrs. Graham to Doctor Graham, St. Vincent's 73 

From the same to the same, St. Vincent's 75 

Doctor Graham to Mrs. Graham, Antigua 77 

From the same to the same 79 

From the same to the same 84 



IV CONTENTS. 

Doctor Graham to Mr. John Davidson, Paisley 86 

Mrs. Graham to her Mother 89 

Mrs. Graham to Miss Margaret Graham, Glasgow 94 

Mrs. Gilbert to Mrs. Graham, Antigua 125 

From the same to the same 130 

From the same to the same 132 

Mrs. Graham to her Father 135 

From the same to the same 138 

Mrs. Graham to her Daughter 147 

Mrs. Graham to Mrs. W. , Edinburgh 149 

To the same 156 

To the same 165 

To the same - 168 

To the same 173 

To the same 175 

To the same 179 

To the same 183 

Mrs. Graham to her Son John Graham 185 

John Graham to his Mother 192 

Mrs. Graham to Mrs. W 198 

To the same 201 

To the same 206 

To the same 209 

To the same 213 

To the same 216 

To the same 222 

To the same 225 

Mrs. Graham to Mrs. C 230 

Mrs. Graham to a young man on his joining the Church. . 236 

Mrs. Graham to Mrs. W. . , 242 



CONTENTS. V 

Mrs. Graham to Mrs. C 247 

Substance of a letter to Miss P 252 

Mrs. Graham to her Daughter then in Scotland 258 

From Divie Bethune to Mrs. Graham 261 

Mrs. Graham to her Daughter in Scotland 266 

Mrs. Graham to Mrs. W 269 

Mrs. Graham to Mr. and Mrs. B. Ballston Springs 276 

From the late Doctor Morrison to Mrs. Graham 277 

Mrs. Graham to Mrs. C 281 

Mrs. Graham to Miss W., Edinburgh 286 

Substance of a letter from Mrs. Graham to Miss M. one of 

her former pupils 289 

Mrs. Graham to Mrs. C 303 

Extracts from the private papers of the late Divie Bethune 307 

Conclusion 313 



1* 



ADVERTISEMENT. 

The profits arising f ram the sale of an Edition of a thousand 
copies, will be appropriated to the funds of the New-York 
Orphan Asylum Society. 



INTRODUCTION. 

The volume entitled "the Power of 
Faith exemplified in the writings of Mrs. 
Isabella Graham of New- York," has been 
long known to the Christian world. With- 
out recommendation from either literary 
or religious pen, it was given to the public 
as " bread cast upon the waters." The 
proceeds of the copy-right, were appro- 
priated to the funds of two institutions 
which had shared her latest attention.* 

The narrative of her life was written 
by her son-in-law, the late Divie Bethune, 
to whom she was a spiritual mother long 
before a closer tie connected him with her 



* The Society for the Relief of poor widows with small chil- 
dren, and the Orphan Asylum Society. 



Vlll INTRODUCTION. 

family. The selections from her diary 
and letters, were made by the same hand 
that edits the present volume. 

Since that time many more letters have 
been returned from Mrs. Graham's cor- 
respondents, nearly all of whom are now 
uniting with her in praising Him who had 
been their " God and their guide even 
unto death." 

The inducements to present another 
volume to the Christian public are two. 
First, the interest expressed by many in 
the former work, and the proofs of its 
usefulness excite the hope that this will 
prove equally acceptable, and profitable. 
Many have acknowledged that their spir- 
itual comfort, and clear views of gospel 
truth, were under God derived from read- 
ing the former volume, where Mrs. Graham 
appears chiefly in the character of a widow 
indeed, and a mother in Israel ; the pre- 



INTRODUCTION. IX 

sent selection will form an auto-biography, 
and exhibit her in the varied relations, 
of a daughter, a wife, a mother, a friend, 
a member of elegant worldly society, yet 
convinced that the highest state of earthly 
enjoyment is fleeting and unsatisfactory, 
and eventuates in vanity and vexation 
of spirit ; her example and experience 
in these respects may prove useful to 
some in the same relations of life, and who 
tread the paths the writer trod. 

The second inducement, is to preserve 
these letters to Mrs. Graham's own de- 
scendants, and be instrumental in obtain- 
ing the answer to her prayers, " That God 
would sanctify her seed, and her seed's 
seed, to the latest generation." 

To those who may not have access to 
the former publication of Mrs. Graham's 
life and writings, it may be interesting to 
know, that she was the daughter of John 



X INTRODUCTION. 

Marshall and Janet Hamilton, both per- 
sons of a pious character. She was born 
in the Shire of Lanark, in Scotland, on 
the 29th of July, 1742, and spent her 
childhood and youth at Eldersley, in the 
neighbourhood of Paisley. She had no 
precise recollection of the period at which 
she first experienced that the Lord was 
gracious ; even in childhood she took de- 
light in pouring out her soul to God, and 
under a bush in the woods of Eldersley, 
she was enabled to devote herself to Him, 
through faith in her Redeemer, before she 
had attained her tenth year. At the age 
of seventeen she was admitted to the sa- 
crament of the Lord's supper, by the late 
Doctor Witherspoon, then pastor of a 
church in Paisley,* under the establish- 
ment of the church of Scotland. 

* Afterwards President of Princeton College, New- Jersey. 



INTRODUCTION. XI 

About the year 1765, Mrs. Graham was 
married to Doctor John Graham, then a 
practising physician in Paisley, and upon 
his being appointed surgeon to the second 
battalion of His Britannic Majesty's 60th, 
or Royal American Regiment, removed 
with him to Canada. It may be proper 
here to state, that Mrs. Graham was the 
second wife of Doctor Graham. His three 
children by his first marriage were left in 
Scotland ; his two sons, Samuel and James, 
he placed under the care of Mr. John 
Davidson, rector of the grammar school 
of Paisley, and his daughter Jean re- 
mained with her maternal grandfather, 
Doctor Stevenson, of Edinburgh. Both 
these sons were liberally educated, and 
the eldest, the late Lieutenant General 
Samuel Graham, and Governor of Stirling 
Castle, studied medicine previous to his 
entering the army ; both served during 



xii INTRODUCTION. 

the revolutionary war in America. James 
when a Lieutenant was wounded at the 
siege of Charleston, South Carolina; he 
married, settled, and died in that place. 

At their earnest request, Mrs. Graham 
left her first-born son and only child, with 
her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Marshall. 

As Mrs. Graham's first letter, giving an 
account of their voyage, has not been 
found, one from Doctor Graham to Mr. 
Davidson has been selected as a proper 
commencement to the series. 

JOANNA BETHUNE. 



New-York, May, 1838. 



LETTER I. 



TO MR, JOHN DAVIDSON, RECTOR OF THE GRAMMAR 
SCHOOL, PAISLEY. 

Quebec, Aug. 27, 1767. 

DEAR SIR, 

I am certain, long before this can reach 
you, something from us has been expected, especi- 
ally as Bell was flattered, before she left Greenock, 
that letters might be sent while at sea, and, for the 
most part, kept one ready ; but hoisting out the 
boat and raising a splutter, unless the captain be 
very different from what they generally are, is not 
so easy : in short, we could not accomplish it, 
which gave poor Bell much concern on her 
mother's account. 

Without further preamble, you shall have a 
short journal from our parting to our arrival here. 

2 



14 DOCTOR GRAHAM 

We left Greenock on Wednesday the tenth of 
June : for five days had fine weather, and got 
clear of land, and began our reckoning from Cape 
Clear ; then we had westerly winds, when our di- 
rect course ought to have been westerly : for ten 
or twelve days we made no direct distance worth 
mentioning. The patience of every one on board 
was tried, in short, we thought nothing could be 
worse than contrary winds, but very soon we found 
it otherwise. The vessel sprung a leak, which 
terrified us all. The captain was in very great 
distress; we would have given anything, or every 
thing, in our possession, to be within a hundred 
leagues of land. A consultation was held, 
whether, if any vessel for Britain or Ireland 
should come in view, we should return — the pas- 
sengers I mean. For some days two hands were 
constantly at the pumps — no carpenter. The 
master afraid to meddle, lest he should make it 
worse ; tried many simple things ; at last it sucked 
a little oakum, which saved the men for some 
days ; but we were all very unhappy except Bell. 
She knew nothing of our danger. She knew that 
it was fatigueing for the sailors, and fek for them ; 
but nothing further till near the end of the voyage. 



TO MR. JOHN DAVIDSON. 15 

On Saturday the tenth of July, about five P. M., 
the operation of shaving began — all merry — a fine 
day — going about three knots. Captain Kerr 
stumbled close by me, and fell overboard — a rope 
was thrown, a large hen-coop put out, and the boat 
hoisted ; after some time he was found, but dead. 
I tried all I could to restore him to no purpose. 
Next day his body was committed to the deep. I 
cannot pretend to say how much concern this gave 
me : we were becoming very intimate, though he 
was naturally reserved. He had received a good 
education, and was exceedingly well bred. Some 
days after we got upon the banks of Newfoundland, 
caught some cod, and feasted upon fresh fish se- 
veral days. Nearly the whole of the passage we 
had very cold weather, and much fog ; for one 
week we knew not where we were, it was so 
thick, we were without an observation for seven 
weeks, with a leak in our bottom, and out of sight 
of land. At length, on Friday the seventh of 
August, we made land, to our great joy, ten or 
twelve leagues from the Gulf of St. Lawrence ; 
from that time we were very lucky, and on 
Thursday the thirteenth arrived here. 

I went ashore — waited on Mr. Findley — he re- 



16 DOCTOR GRAHAM 

ceived me very politely — came on board in the 
afternoon — brought us ashore, and has behaved 
ever since more like a brother than any thing 
else. 

On our arrival I understood Dr. S , of 

the first battalion, on the morning of the twenty- 
eighth of December, after drinking very hard to 
the memory of St. John, finished himself. He 
had discovered some tendency that way, and his 
servant had put every thing out of his way ; but, 
with his lancets and a broken bottle, he got it done 
completely. I thought of applying to get into the 
first battalion, and would have succeeded easily, 
but my friends advised me against it, and ad- 
vanced very sufficient reasons. So I only soli- 
cited leave to do duty with the first for the winter, 
the six companies having neither surgeon nor mate 
with them here. Both General Carleton our go- 
vernor, and Lieut.-Col. Prevost having written to 
the Commander in Chief, I have begun ac- 
cordingly. 

The second battalion are scattered at the out- 
posts, and I have a mate with them. The first 
battalion expects to winter at Montreal, if so, Bell 
and your friend will be there. 



TO MR. JOHN DAVIDSON. 17 

You will probably think I might say something 
of Canada, and the famous city of Quebec. The 
country just now looks very fine, and all along the 
river, for three hundred miles, is like a village, 
the chatteaux are so thick. Bell was delighted 
with the view, and could have put up with the 
worst of them, for life, with her friends about her ; 
however, her taste is rather more refined since she 
came to town and turned a fine lady, every day 
dressed out as for an assembly, introduced to 
colonels, majors and captains. The subs, poor 
fellows, are not so ceremoniously dealt with ; in 
short it is a very gay and extravagant place. The 
merchants here give way frequently as at home ; 
the French merchants particularly. General 
Carlton, our Deputy Governor, has a levee and 
route once a week. T was introduced to his Ex- 
cellency by Col. Prevost, and was at his levee 
yesterday for the first time. I am not very fond 
of dancing attendance, especially when it serves no 
earthly purpose ; but we are obliged to do it, or 
incur his displeasure. The low town, where the 
people of business live, is situated along the bot- 
tom of a very steep hill, or rather rock, and upon 
the sides of the river the houses are mostly built 

2* 



18 DOCTOR GRAHAM 

of stone, like our whinstone ; some of them are 
covered with slate, but by far the greatest number 
are covered with shingles, (wood cut like slates.) 
Lodgings are very dear in both upper and lower 
towns. We must climb a steep hill, called Consti- 
tution Hill, before we can meet with the gentlemen 
of the army and the qualite of the place. We can 
see there has been a prodigious devastation of 
churches, palaces, and houses ; many of them are 
still in ruins. The fort itself, with its environs, 
suffered very much. We are in no fixed way as 
yet, but live in the highest taste, with two other 
families, in Mr. Findley's. Bell is labouring at the 
French, for which she pays a guinea each month ; 
every" body speaks French here, and few of the 
towns-people can speak English. 

Now for my more interesting affairs. Upon 
you is my whole dependence with regard to my 
young family. I beg you will not foil to write 
me very minutely, and treat me with the greatest 
freedom. I hope I shall indemnify you, though 
it will never be in my power to compensate 
properly. I find I can remit money easy 
enough- from this place by the packet from New- 
York — it will be a long time before it reaches you, 



TO MR. JOHN DAVIDSON. 19 

but the first money I receive here shall be sent 
home. Remember me affectionately to Samuel 
and James — write, if you please, to Jean on re- 
ceipt of this. A few lines from Samuel would 
make me very happy. I will refer you to a letter 
Bell writes to her mamma for further particulars. 
We have both, thank God, been very well, only 
a short time sea-sick — but I am really afraid Bell 
will grow too fat — every day makes an odds in the 
dimensions of her face. 

Believe me, dear Davidson, 
with the greatest affection, 

Your friend and servant, 

John Graham. 



LETTER II. 



TO MR. AND MRS. MARSHALL, ELDERSLET. 

Quebec, Sej). 27, 1767. 

MY DEAR PARENTS, 

I wrote you by a ship bound for London, 
but, lest my letter should miscarry, I aYail myself 
of this opportunity, though soon after the last. I 
gaYe you some account of our voyage, which, as 
I have new matter to write, I will not repeat, only 
it lasted nine weeks, was very disagreeable, on 
account of stormy weather, contrary winds, a leaky 
ship, and the loss of one of the most agreeable 
members of our little society, Captain Kerr, who 
fell overboard — his body was soon after found, 
but with no signs of life. 

I promised to give you some more particulars 
respecting our situation. I told you we had been 



TO HER PARENTS. 21 

taken particular notice of by Mr. Findley, brought 
to his house, and remained there some time. 
There were with him three other gentlemen and 
ladies, and, as I understood, they had been there 
all summer, and every one of them as much land- 
lord as Mr. Findley himself, I could not under- 
stand for some time upon what footing they lived 
with him — but now I know. Mr. McK., who 
married a Montreal lady, came out to look after 
her property, and Mr. F., having a large house 
and no family, allowed him the use of it ; so he, 
his wife, and her mother, made three of our com- 
pany. Captain J. C, and Mr. C, an English 
merchant, made up our number; there was an 
account kept of the expense of the family, and 
every one paid his proportion ; it was with difficulty 
we were allowed to pay ours, but you know the 
Doctor has a spirit, and he made a point of it. I 
think he is very right. I would not choose to 
lie under obligations, where there is little probabi- 
lity of having it in our power to return them, and 
to those whom as yet we cannot know. They are 
polite well bred men, and the ladies very much 
so ; but Mr. Findley, for sense and sentiment, 
towers above the rest, and outshines every body 



22 MRS. GRAHAM 

he is in company with. Our way of life, you may 
be sure, was very expensive, as we had every 
thing in the greatest taste, and a continual round 
of company ; but it is over ; they all left us yes- 
terday. Now there is only Mr. F. and ourselves. 
The way we have been in has had its advan- 
tages ; we have been introduced to the genteelest 
people of the place, and our principal officers. 
The Doctor is much caressed, you know he has 
the art of making himself agreeable wherever he 
goes, and I too, (no doubt on his account) have 
been very much taken notice of. He has been 
several times with the general, and has dined with 
him — he has been very civil — the colonel and the 
Doctor were very intimate — he is one of the best 
men I ever knew. I was sorry when he left the 
place — his wife and family are at New-York — he 
is gone to spend the winter with them, and left 
the command of the regiment with Captain E., 
who seems to be friendly, and is a great friend of 
the Doctor's too. He has called several times to 
engage me to go to the governor's route ; but, as 
that is a footing I must not set out upon, I always 
found some excuse. We have had some very 
agreeable jaunts into the country. Mr. G 



TO HER PARENTS. 23 

has a chaise always at our command. He, the 
Doctor and I, last week visited the famous falls of 
Montmorency — I cannot pretend to describe them 
to you — you never saw any thing to resemble 
them — so grand ! — so dreadful ! — it makes one 
tremble to look at them. The whole river of 
Montmorency falls over a perpendicular rock one 
hundred and eighty feet high — the rocks around 
are so steep and rugged. — Cora Lyn is like pour- 
ing water from one vessel into another in compa- 
rison with this. 

On Wednesday we dined with Captain D , 

at a genteel country house, three miles from town, 
w 7 here he lives with Mr. P. and Doctor M., surgeon 
to the hospital. The captain is a genteel well- 
bred man — so, indeed, are his two companions. 

I have been but a short time in the place, and may 
be mistaken ; but I have formed a very good opinion 
of many of my acquaintances here. Had I my 
dear parents near me, our dear boys, and a few 
other friends, I might be reconciled to this country ; 
but no place or company, however agreeable, can 
compensate for their absence. Indeed, on many 
accounts, were it in my choice, I would prefer 
my own country. The people, I cannot call them 



24 MRS. GRAHAM 

wicked, but, if I may judge by their manner of 

spending the Sabbath, the generality of them pay 

very little regard to religion. The French people 

go to church, to mass, many of them at five o'clock 

in the morning, and even the most delicate ladies 

are always there by seven, and are very devout 

all the forenoon : their religion requires no more 

of them. In the afternoon they sing, dance, ride 

out in parties of pleasure, play cards, and do every 

thing that may be done on other days. Our people 

are worse than they ; they spend the Sabbath idly 

or in doing business, and in the afternoon too 

many of them join the French. The first Sunday, 

after we landed, I retired to my own room after 

dinner to be out of the way. Mrs. C. and Mrs. 

McK. sent up their compliments, begging I would 

go down and join them in a party at whist — need 

I tell you I refused, and assigned my reason — 

they were too well bred either to banter me, or 

ask me again. 

Here they butcher and sell all sorts of provisions 
on the Sabbath — the French come out of church 
and immediately go into the market. 

We have an episcopal church and a presbyterian 
meeting — Dr. B., chaplain to the garrison, 



TO HER PARENTS. 25 

preaches to the first, and Mr. H , settled by 

subscription, to the last. B is a sensible, 

clever man, but very wicked ; he riots and swears as 
bold an oath as any soldier in town. I was only 
once at his church : from a man of his character I 
could receive no benefit. I am amazed how he dare 
presume to address a holy and just God with the 
freedom he does, or recommend religion to others, 
when he, by his conduct, seems to despise it ! O, 
it is shocking ! and he too, an old gray-headed man ! 

Mr. H has not B 's parts, but is a worthy 

pious man — the Doctor and I attend his preaching ; 

indeed, were he episcopalian and B presby- 

terian, I should, for I could not bear that my 
prayers to the Almighty should pass through the 
lips of such a man. Both of them preach in ca- 
tholic churches — we have no other— and their 
service is over before ours begin. I was a good 
deal startled, at first, at the images ; indeed, I am 
not quite reconciled to worshipping God in one of 
these houses yet ; but I hope it is only a weak- 
ness, and that the Almighty, who knows the heart, 
will not be offended at their being there, seeing 
we take no notice of them. It is not very fashion- 

3 



26 MRS. GRAHAM 

able to go to church here, but, to my great satis- 
faction, the Doctor attends regularly. 

The gentlemen here are very sober — neither 
can I say they swear ; and if they would regard 
the Sabbath, and attend public worship, I could 
find no fault with their conduct. 

I have read Doddridge's Rise and Progress. 
I little knew what a treasure Mr. Ellis put into 
my hand when he gave me that book. I cannot 
say it is my daily companion, but I can, with 
truth say, it is often so. Let my mind be in ever 
so giddy and thoughtless a frame, or ever so much 
busied in those amusements I am engaged in, it 
makes me serious, and gives my thoughts a dif- 
ferent turn ; there is scarce any situation the mind 
can be in, but it will find something suitable there. 
I must not, however, make remarks on the par- 
ticular contents of it; it would occupy more paper 
than I have to spare. I would have you purchase 
the book. I am sure you would like it, and, when 
you have read it, it will be matter of great satis- 
faction to you, that John and I have such a trea- 
sure in our possession. In it are contained every 
advice you could give us, and cautions against the 



TO HER PARENTS. 27 

temptations which on account of youth, company, 
and the country we are in, we are exposed to. 

We thought we were to winter at Quebec ; 
but this day's packet has brought orders to march 
to Montreal. I would have been contented to 
have remained here. The doctor begs to be re- 
membered to you. Remember us both to Mr. 

D , the dear boy, yours and ours. Farewell, 

my dear parents, 

I am, as ever, your affectionate 

and dutiful Daughter, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER III. 



TO MRS. MARSHALL. 



Montreal, April 30, 17S8. 

MY DEAR MOTHER, 

Your long expected, and much dreaded 
letter, I have at last received. I should not say 
yours, for I feared I should have no letter from 
you ; but I was very much afraid of the first ac- 
counts from Scotland. I cannot express my joy 
when, on opening my letter, I found it written by 
the hand of my dear mother. I believe, had it 
been in the hand of my father, I would not have 
had courage to read it, as my fears were entirely 
for you. For the bare knowledge that you were 
alive, and in tolerable health, I would have given 
any thing long before the first glance of your 
hand-writing conveyed it to me. I assure you 



TO HER MOTHER. 29 

the perusal gave me a greater share of pleasure 
than pain. 

The death of my dear, lovely infant drew from 
my eyes many tears, but I am still of the same 
way of thinking, that a child's dying in infant in- 
nocence, is no real cause of grief. I only felt, 
what every mother feels, from a natural fondness, 
who parts with her child to a dear friend with 
whom she is certain he will be happier ; yet, if 
she has no hopes of seeing him for a long time, 
though willing to part with him for his good, the 
parting will be tender and distressing. I could 
have wished him to live, more for your sake than 
my own, as I hoped he might be an agreeable 
amusement to you, and sometimes make you for- 
get your other afflictions, and, in time, have 
greatly blunted the edge of them ; but, it has 
pleased God to take him to himself, and I hope 
he will supply this loss to you and me in some 
other way. My first emotions were over before 
your letter arrived. I was sitting one evening at 
tea, with a good deal of company about me, 
cheerful and happy, as I knew no cause why I 
should be otherwise, when the Doctor opened the 
door. I read something very interesting in his 

a* 



30 MRS. GRAHAM 

countenance : he made a sign for me to follow 
him, which I did to another room : he drew from 
his pocket a letter. I immediately exclaimed, 
" are my father and mother alive?" He said he 
knew nothing to the contrary, but that he had a 
piece of news to communicate which would dis- 
tress me, and hoped that I would behave like 
myself. I then composed myself. He read to me a 
letter from his sister, informing him she had gone to 
Paisley to see his sons, but was grieved to hear the 
youngest had been dead some time. She seemed 
surprised you had not acquainted her with it, but 
said not a word whether you were dead or alive. I 
then grew very impatient for particulars. Your letter 
came to hand about a month after, and very happy 
it made me, even the distressing part of it. Your 
account of the child's death is very satisfactory 
and consoling. Our kind and good God has in 
this, as in every other instance, shown his tender- 
ness for you, for me, and for ours, and mixed 
much mercy with our affliction. You tell me, in 
that short but full sentence, that " his affliction 
was mild, his death pleasant, and his corpse love- 
ly." Well then, let us resign him, not only cheer- 
fully, but thankfully, and say with Job, " The 



TO HER MOTHER. 31 

Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away, blessed 
be the name of the Lord." 

We are still at Montreal. I have delayed writing 
in hopes of informing you where we are likely to 
be stationed; we have expected orders for the 
stations of the different regiments in this country, 
these two last posts, from New- York. Various 
are the opinions of the officers ; some that our 
battalion, now at Niagara, will come to Montreal ; 
others that we will go to Boston or New Jersey : 
this would be very agreeable to me for two rea- 
sons. Those places are famous for piety and re- 
ligion, and I would have more frequent opportu- 
nities of corresponding with my friends ; but it 
will make a considerable difference another way 
if we remain here. It is not so much the ex- 
pense of travelling, which is not trifling, but 
being obliged to sell off our furniture, pro- 
bably for the half of what we gave, and again to 
purchase at the highest price; besides, the Doctor 
is now very well known at Montreal, and has a 
good deal of practice, which seems to increase. 
I assure you we have not lived but for a great 
deal more than both pay and perquisites since we 



32 MRS. GRAHAM 

came to America : a change of place will make a 
considerable alteration in our income. 

The Doctor spends none in the tavern; he is 
never there, but keeps a very full house at home. 
There are a few families who are almost always 
together, and we generally have company twice or 
thrice a week — I do not mean to tea, for that is a 
trifling expense, but to dinner or supper, generally 
to both ; and he is not satisfied if his table does 
not cut as fine a figure as that of any we associate 
with. He makes all the markets himself, and ge- 
nerally sends in all its varieties, and often the first 
things of the season — you know how expensive 
this must be. There is nothing drunk here but 
wine, and that not only port, but claret and ma- 
deira ; but I have never ventured to say a word 
to him on this head ; it is a great comfort that he 
spends his money at home. I begin to despair of 
ever being able to lay up any money. I have often 
begged the Doctor to save at least what he makes 
by his practice; but his answer is, "Bell, we will 
be as frugal as we can, but we must be genteel ; 
we will pay ready money, and what is left shall be 
saved." 



TO HER MOTHER. 33 

I have made a long and undesigned complaint. 
I begin to think myself ungrateful for so doing ; 
this is his foible — he might have worse — who are 
without them ? What a difference betwixt a man 
of his turn and a miser, from whom one can 
scarcely get the necessaries of life, far less where- 
withal to make a decent appearance amongst 
neighbours, or one that spends all his time and 
money, too, at the tavern, and is never to be seen 
either sober or at home. When I think of these 
things I am thankful, and willing to indulge him 
in many little extravagancies, which I myself think 
might be saved, but which I know will please him ; 
and I have my share of pleasure in what is spent, 
which is more than every wife can say. He often 
tells me that it is for my sake ; that my credit and 
character go nearer his heart than his own ; that 
if things were not genteel in the house, it would be 
imputed to me, not to him, and to be sure there is 
some truth in that. He has given up some things, 
at my request, of more real consequence, which 
makes me very happy, and, if continued, would 
have made me miserable. Since I have been par- 
ticular one way, I ought, injustice to him, to be 
so in another, 



34 MRS. GRAHAM 

The officers have a military club once a week ; 
the night fixed is Saturday ; they are often riotous, 
and sometimes drunk on the Sabbath morning ; 
this made me very unhappy. I did not dream of 
his giving it up entirely, as every officer in town 
meets there punctually on that night ; but I begged, 
in the most earnest manner, that he would make a 
point of leaving before twelve o'clock : he told 
me, that when he was there, he could not promise 
upon the time he would leave them, as they might 
detain him whether he would or not ; but, to oblige 
me, he would give up the club altogether ; ac- 
cordingly he has not been there for four months. 
After this was given up, I was often unhappy on 
that night. It is not an uncommon thing, even in 
private houses, to play a hand at cards after sup- 
per, and if at any time he was out late, and I not 
with him, I was in a terror lest he might forget the 
hours and encroach on the Sabbath. I told him 
this, and ever since he has generally spent Satur- 
day evening at home, or, at least, come home in 
proper time. Then there is Sunday, which is a 
great visiting day, and he is seldom without an in- 
vitation to dine or sap. I am certain he would 
not play at cards on that day, and have known him 



TO HER MOTHER. SO 

to leave the company when they were proposed ; 
but, you may be sure, I was not fond of his being 
abroad on that day, or yet of his having dinners or 
suppers at home. I was cautious of finding fault 
at the time, when that was the case, but when it 
was otherwise, and we happened to be at home 
alone, I expatiated upon the happiness I felt at 
finding ourselves alone on that day, and even hint- 
ed how painful it was for me, either to entertain 
company at home, or to think of his being engaged 
abroad, with people who had no regard for reli- 
gion, and paid no attention to its laws, at least for 
religion's sake. There are many good members 
of society in this place, and every way agreeable 
companions on another day ; but few of them 
make any distinction betwixt Sunday and 
Saturday. 

There is no occasion to say all one thinks to 
a man of his penetration. I gained my point, and 
for a long time past, except when he is visiting 
the sick, or at church, which he attends regularly, 
he is seldom to be found out of his own house on 
Sunday. We have always company to tea ; but 
that cannot be avoided ; but were you to pop in 
after they are gone, you would find him reading 



36 MRS. GRAHAM 

sermons to me, or conversing upon religious sub- 
jects : he has often acknowledged that he is much 
happier, and has much more satisfaction when he 
spends the day in this way, than when he is 
abroad. If he is happy, I am sure I am much 
more so. Let me then endeavour to make home 
as agreeable to him as possible, and by cheerfully 
complying with his will in some things, I may, by 
the blessing of God, accomplish my wishes in 
matters of more weight and importance. 

I have, according to custom, chatted till my 
paper obliges me to finish. The Doctor joins me 
in compliments to Mr. Davidson, and in returning 
him a thousand thanks for his care of our two 
boys. The Doctor has received his letter, and all 
he has done is perfectly right. He will write by the 
packet. Remember us also to the boys and Hugh, 
to our friends at Ouarelton, and other acquaint- 
ances — I never leare a bit of room for names. 
Farewell, my dear, dear parents — believe me to 
be, with much affection, 

Your dutiful daughter, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER IV. 



MRS. MARSHALL TO MRS. GRAHAM* 

Eldersley, 1768 

You haye lost one of your best friends in this 
place, a friend that was frequent and fervent at a 
throne of grace for you and yours — worthy Mr. 
Muir,f I need not say how much lamented? you 
will know that yourself. I wrote you of the 
situation of his foot ; it seemed to be getting better 
for a while, but grew worse again, and on the 30th 
of June his leg was cut off; on the 20th of July 



* The attentions Mrs. Graham received, and her being in some 
degree obliged to mix in gay society, no doubt gave rise to her 
affectionate christian mother's apprehensions expressed in this 
and the following letters. 

t Father of the_late Rev. Dr. Muir, of Alexandria, D. C. 

4 



38 MRS. MARSHALL 

he died. No person was allowed to see him but 
those who waited on him. Dr. Stuart slept con- 
stantly in the house, yet no preventing death. 

They sent off express for Dr. P ; but, before 

he arrived, the soul had taken its last farewell — en- 
tered on its Sabbath of rest. It was on the pre- 
paration Sabbath before the sacrament. He could 
not have joined personally on earth at that time ; 
but his dear Master, whom he had preached so 
faithfully, recommended so warmly, and served so 
cheerfully, made him " to drink the wine new 
with him, in his Father's kingdom." 

I wish the entertainments of that gay place may 
not engage you too much, not only to the hurt of 
your outward circumstances, but to the hindrance 
of your advancement in religion, and the concerns 
of your precious, immortal soul. O, my dear 
child, no mortal knows the inward trouble of mind 
I undergo on your account ; what, through fear of 
the numberless temptations you are liable to, you 
should be off your guard, and be suffered to fall ; 
what, through fear of the many difficulties you 
may have to undergo, and be cut off in some one 
or other of them, I am sure you are little out of 
my mind ; you lie down with me — you rise up 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 39 

with me — I carry you about with me through the 
whole day — and O the weary days and nights I 
have had, since I parted with my dear child ! But 
O, my dear, can I do otherwise than rejoice, 
when I reflect that the Lord is every where pre- 
sent, and that I have access in, and through my 
Redeemer, on your account, to that God who is 
continually present with you, has wrought great 
deliverance for you, and I have reason to believe, 
if you continue to seek him, and walk in his ways, 
he will to do great things for you still ? It is my 
only support, and no small support it is. 

Farewell, my dearest! May the Lord bless you 
both, and keep you night and day, lying down 
and rising up, going out and coming in, wherever 
you go ; may the everlasting arms of the all wise and 
powerful Jehovah be underneath and about you, 
is the earnest and most fervent prayer of your 
Loving and affectionate Mamma, 

Janet Marshall. 



LETTER V. 



FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME. 

Eldersley, 1768. 
You write that you are much taken notice of; 
to be sure it is agreeable ; but I do not know how 
far it may be an advantage to either soul or body. 
In that situation you are liable to many tempta- 
tions, besides a very expensive way of life ; but 
glory, glory to God, who has taken away, or, at 
least, moderated your taste for these very idle 
amusements. We may never meet in this world, 
but it is my earnest, constant, and renewed peti- 
tion, that we may meet in that better country, in 
that " grand, assembly," and join in that sweet 
"concert of music" which will never end, and be 
without sin. 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 41 

You write of a dreadful storm of thunder, and 
lightning, and earthquake, but it did not hurt you. 
When the Lord's judgments are upon the earth, 
men ought to learn righteousness. I hope, my 
dear, matters are on such a footing between your 
Heavenly Father and you, that, come what will, 
you can place your confidence in him and say, 
" The Lord, he is my God, of whom or of what 
shall I be afraid ?" When I reflect upon every 
circumstance of your life, and the wonderful de- 
liverances the Lord has wrought for you, both 
spiritual and temporal, I am lost. I do not know 
how to express my gratitude to my dearest Lord; 
and, O, my dear, what an unspeakable comfort, 
that although we are thousands of miles from each 
other, we can put up our united prayers to that 
God who is present in all places, and who has 
said, that he will be continually at our right hand, 
that we shall not be moved if we have a constant 
and steady dependence upon him. My love to 
the Doctor, and the dear children. The Lord 
bless them, and spare them, to be a comfort to 
you and me, is the earnest prayer of an affec- 
tionate and loving mother, in whose heart you 
and they lodge night and day. 

Janet Marshall. 
4* 



LETTER VI. 



TO DOCTOR GRAHAM, NIAGARA .* 

Montreal, June 8, 1768. 

MY DEAR DOCTOR, 

How shall I express my gratitude for the 
refreshing cordial you sent me, at a time when I 
stood so much in need of one. It was not in the 



* When Mrs. Graham was near her confinement, Doctor Gra- 
ham was ordered to join his regiment, the second battalion of the 
60thj or Royal Americans, having previously been permitted to 
do duty with the 1st battalion. Supposing that the orders were 
given in consequence of some neglect of etiquette, on his part, to 
the commander in chief, his pride either prevented him, or he con- 
sidered it needless to solicit for a longer continuance of absence. 
He accordingly left Mrs. Graham with kind friends at Montreal, 
ascended the Rapids to Niagara, where, having obtained leave of 
absence from his own commander, he shortly after returned to 
Montreal for his wife and babe. The suddenness of his departure 
will account for the agitation of mind expressed in this letter. 



TO HER HUSBAND. 43 

art of your profession to have sent me such 
another, in box or phial. 

I suppose, by this time, you have received Mr. 

C 's letter, which would inform you that you 

have a little girl.* I suppose a boy would have 
been more welcome ; but you were kind enough 
to say, that, if your Bell were well, either would 
be welcome. 

O, my Doctor, what I suffered after you left 
me. I lost all my fortitude, and was, in a man- 
ner bereft of my reason. I threw myself on my 
bed to give way to my bursting heart ; indeed I 
thought it would have bursted. When I was 
quite spent with grief, sleep, at last, relieved me 
for about two hours : when I waked, I found my- 
self far from well, so did not get up again that 
evening ; but in vain I tried to lose my sensibi- 
lity ; sleep had fled from me, and left me a prey 
to a distracted mind, in which there was scarce a 
gleam of hope of ever seeing you again. I even 
fancied I could read a chain of links in providence 
pointing towards our final separation, and the last 
stroke just ready to fall. Thus I spent the long 

* Jessy, afterwards Mrs. Hay Stevenson, of New- York. 



44 MRS. GRAHAM 

and tedious night. Morning made its appear- 
ance. I quitted my bed sooner than usual. I had 
been much threatened during the night, and find- 
ing myself grow worse and worse, I sent for Dr. 

W , and made him bleed me ; went to bed 

again, hoping to be better, but it would not do. 

Between five and six all was over. * * * * 

My fears for myself, at least of death, were now 

pretty much dissipated, but those of a still more 

dreadful nature began to haunt my mind. I 

thought I had been too solicitous about life> It 

was granted, but it might prove my punishment. 

There, thought I, lies my babe ; perhaps she is 

fatherless, and, if so, what am I ? Perhaps it had 

been the happiest thing that could have befallen 

me that my babe had never seen the light, and 

my own eyes closed in death before the dreadful 

news had reached my ears. O, my husband, you 

do not yet know the half of the love I bear you ; 

with you I would wish to live ; with you I would 

wish to die ; with you I would be happy, or share 

with you in misery ; but, to be separated, O, I 

cannot bear the thought. 

Those sudden gusts that Mr. Mel men- 
tioned distressed me much. I had heard also that 
the ropes were in danger of breaking, and leaving 



TO HER HUSBAND. 45 

the batteaux to be dashed to pieces amongst the 
rocks ; every possible misfortune that might befall 
you occurred to my mind, though I uttered not a 
word. On Wednesday evening, (this day week,) 
your letter was put into my hand ; O, how I 
grasped it, and with what eagerness I read it ; but 
I will not tell you what fault I faund with it. 

That night was the first I slept ; ever since I 
have been in much better spirits, and your letter 
is my cordial after breakfast and after supper to 
this day ; and now I am impatient for another, as 
the boats which took you up are hourly expected. 
I begin to hope that the time may be at no great 
distance when we shall meet again. O, my dear 
Doctor, I know how I shall enjoy it, I also know 
that I buy it very dear. 

I cannot be at the pains to write trifling news, 
my heart is too full, and, since I must not allow 
it to say more, I will conclude with the repetition, 
that I am, my dearest Doctor, 

Wholly yours, 

I, Graham* 



LETTER VII. 



MRS. MARSHALL TO MRS. GRAHAM. 

Eldersley, 1771. 
O, my dear child, can such a thing come to 
pass, as that }~ou and we should be settled near 
each other ; but that is a happiness, I am afraid, 
I will not be thought worthy of in this world. O, 
for that happy and most glorious day, when we 
shall meet never to part again, and join our ever- 
lasting anthems of praise to our dear Redeemer, 
who has saved our souls from everlasting destruc- 
tion. I am glad to hear that my dear little 
creatures are well and thriving. You say it is 
foolish to write children's prattle; but, my dear, 
I take it kind, and am well entertained with it. 
I return them both my hearty thanks for their 
kisses on the paper. O, to embrace them in my 



MRS. MARSHALL TO MRS. GRAHAM. 47 

arms. My dear children! I may, and I may 
never see them ; but may the blessing of the God 
of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, — my own God, 
rest upon you and them, — I claim your and 
their title to it. O, my dearest child, I hope you 
are maintaining your integrity and perseverance in 
the way of God ; not ashamed, I trust, to own 
yourself a servant of Jesus Christ, even before a 
wicked and licentious world ; if you own him and 
his cause before such, he will not be ashamed to 
own you, when he comes in his Father's glory, 
and all the holy angels with him. 



LETTER VIII. 



TO MRS. MARSHALL, ELDERSLEY. 

Niagara, Feb. 3, 1771. 

MY DEAR MOTHER, 

I have for a month past, with others, been 
wishing for the arrival of the express, in full ex- 
pectation of, at least, one letter from you or my 
brother. I have got my wish ; the express has 
arrived, to the joy and satisfaction of many; but, 
for the Doctor and me, it has brought nothing but 
disappointment. I will not blame you, perhaps I 
am only unlucky. I feel persuaded that if you 
have written, it has been by the packet, as I told 
you before. So far as I can understand, I have 
got every letter you have sent that way. 

This has been the mildest winter remembered 
by any of the people on this ground. A few days 



TO MRS. MARSHALL. 49 

ago fell the first snow worth mentioning, neither 
have we had much frost. We have all, thank 
God, enjoyed perfect health since I last wrote to 
you, except, what we must expect, the children 
now and then a little fretful with their teeth. 
They are both stout hearty girls. Jessy talks 
much of grandmamma, and wont allow that she is 
a Canadian, but a Scotch girl. 

My two Indian girls come on very well indeed. 
The eldest milked the cows all summer ; she 
washes and irons all the clothes for the family, 
scrubs the floors, and does the most part of the 
kitchen work. The young one's charge is the 
children, and some other little turns, when the in- 
fant is asleep. I teach them to read and to sew 
when they have any spare time. As for me, I 
find I have enough to do to superintend. You 
may be sure I help a little too now and then. I 
make and mend what is necessary for the family, 
for I must be tailor, mantua-maker, and milliner. 

In the forenoon the Doctor makes his rounds as 
usual. I generally trot about till two o'clock, 
dress the children, order dinner, dress myself, and 
twenty other things, which you know are neces- 
sary to be looked after by the mistress of a family. 

5 



50 MRS. GRAHAM 

After dinner I sit down to my work, and we have 
always a book, which the Doctor reads, when I 
can attend, when I cannot he reads something 
else. 

As I am the only wife in the place, we have a 
regular tea-table, and now and then a little frugal 
supper; for the Doctor has come more into my 
way of thinking, and does not insist upon cutting a 
figure as much as some time ago. When alone, he 
reads and I work, as usual. He is seldom out, and 
never but when I am with him. We are easy in 
our circumstances, and want for nothing that is 
necessary ; in short, my ever dear parents, my life 
is easy and pleasant. The Lord my God make 
it pious and useful. 

Could I place myself and family in the same 
circumstances, and every thing to go on in the same 
manner, within a few miles of you, I should be 
happy for life ; and were it not for this hope, 
which my heart is set upon, for all I have told 
you, I would be miserable. 

We find the newspapers full of preparations 
for war ; may the Lord dispose all hearts to peace, 
for I hate the sound, though it is the wish of the 
greatest number about me. There is no prospect 



TO MRS. MARSHALL. 51 

of our leaving this place for a year yet. For my 
part, I have only two reasons for wishing it. The 
first is, I should like to be in some christian so- 
ciety ; the other, that I might do something to- 
wards getting home. To return to the gay world 
again I have no ambition. My family here, and 
my friends at home, engross all my attention ; and 
when I see the one, and hear of the other 
being well, I am happy. Time never hangs 
heavy on my hand ; T can always find employ- 
ment, and amusement too, without the assistance 
of what go under the name of diversions. 

We have lately had several visits from a great 
family. The chief of the Seneca nation having a 
daughter not well, he brought her to the Doctor 
to see what could be done for her : he, his squaw 
or lady, and daughters, breakfasted with us several 
times. I was as kind, and made all the court to 
them I could, though we could not converse but 
by an interpreter. I made the daughters some 
little presents, and the Doctor would not be fee'd. 
You will say this was foolish ; but it is not with 
them as with us, their greatest men are always the 
poorest. Who knows but these little services 
may one day save our scalps. There have been 



52 MRS. GRAHAM 

several threatenings of an Indian war ; thank God, 
it seems to be quite hushed again. 

War with civilized nations is nothing to war 
with Indians. They have no mercy, nor give 
any quarter to man, woman, or child ; all meet the 
same fate, except where they take a liking to par- 
ticular persons, those they adopt as their children, 
and use them as such. 

The Doctor joins in affectionate respects to my 
dear father, and you, the boys, and all our dear 
friends. 

I am as much as ever, and will be to my latest 
breath, my dear mamma, 

Your affectionate daughter, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER IX. 



TO MRS. MARSHALL. 

Niagara, May 31, 1771. 

MY EVER DEAR MAMMA, 

After long waiting, and many disappoint- 
ments, I have, at last, the inexpressible pleasure 
of a letter from you. The date I lost in the 
wafer, but judge, from its contents, it was written 
in November or December. You say you can 
wait, with patience, five or six weeks, or even two 
months ; but I am obliged to wait six, seven, and 
sometimes eight months, without a line from you 
or any other friend in your quarter. Davidson 
never writes, and your letter is the first and only 
intelligence we have had how James was disposed 
of. The Doctor joins me in thanking you for 
the full and satisfactory account you gave of all 

5* 



54 MRS. GRAHAM 

his three children. Be so kind, my dear mamma, 
to communicate, from time to time, all you can 
learn concerning them. They possess, and de- 
servedly, a very large share of their papa's affec- 
tions, and you well know how dear they are 
to me. 

I think Mrs. H treated you harshly ; the 

least thing she might have done was to have given 
you a soothing answer. If she reckons you 
foolish, she may reflect upon a time when she was 
more so, and I dare say it was not to seek what 
you could have said ; but little said is soon mend- 
ed. One half of the world can only feel for 
themselves, and nine out of ten only for them- 
selves and near connexions ; so that we must bear 
our own griefs the best way we can ; we will find 
few to take part in them, and fewer will give them- 
selves much trouble to relieve them. When you 

meet with a M d, or some such kindred soul, 

then it is you may unbosom yourself; then you 
may expect soothing sympathy, friendly advice, and 
tender condolence, and that nothing will be left 
unattempted within the compass of their power or 
hope to relieve you ; but such souls are rare. 

With regard to our going home, I am not dis- 



TO HER MOTHER. 55 

heartened for all you have written me ; our gen- 
tlemen, I mean the officers, see things in a dif- 
ferent light. Our regiment is the only one in his 
Majesty's service that is destined never to leave 
America ; all of them are supposed to be natives 
of the soil ; so it is named, the " Royal Ameri- 
cans," and fixed to guard the country. Other 
regiments are relieved every six years ; I mean 
they have a claim to go to Britain, after having 
served six years abroad, and the regiment which 
went to Pensacola, which the Doctor should have 
gone with, is now at New- York on their way to 
Britain. The officers came into this regiment 
from choice ; they either bought or got commis- 
sions which fell to ihem ; but it is different with 
the Doctor : he was appointed to it, not from 
choice, but necessity, and it is thought, when he 
has served six years abroad, he will have a just 
claim either to be allowed to retire, or appointed 
to a regiment at home. It is now nearly four 
years since we left home, the six will soon pass 
away. Do not, my dear mother, make yourself 
so unhappy, nor trouble people about us, who do 
not care three farthings whether we go or stay. 
If it will be for your or our good, I make not the 



56 MRS. GRAHAM 

smallest doubt we shall be successful in our en- 
deavours to bring it about. Let us leave the 
event to God. 

O, my dear mother, if you knew my heart, 
what would I not give or do, to make you and my 
father happy. I am sure, while any of you are 
unhappy, I must be so too. 

The Doctor desires his best wishes to my fa- 
ther, you, and Mr. D . Farewell, my dear 

mamma. That God may bless you with spiritual 
and temporal comfort is the prayer of 

Your affectionate and dutiful daughter, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER X. 



TO MRS. GRAHAM, SCHENECTADY.* 

New- York, Sept. IS, 1772. 

MY DEAREST BELL, 

I have taken the first spare moment to inform 
you of my safe arrival here. I was in hopes to 
be able to chat to you a full hour, but I have this 

minute in the room with me Captains McA 

and T , Lieutenants P , McD , and 

H , and we are to sup together. 



* In the year 1772, the regiment to which Dr. Graham belonged 
was ordered to embark for the West Indies. Accordingly they 
removed to Schenectady, travelling in batteaux, on the river 
Mohawk, and encamping at night. At Schenectady Doctor Gra= 
ham inoculated his three little girls for the small pox ; previous 
to which the two youngest were baptized. That Doctor Graham 
might negotiate for exchanging his commission, he left Mrs. Gra« 
ham at Schenectady, and repaired to New- York, 



58 DOCTOR GRAHAM TO MRS. GRAHAM. 

I this morning breakfasted with Captain Brown, 
and was introduced to Mrs. Brown* and his sister- 
in-law. How I am to be, where I am to lods:e, 
and how to live, I shall be able to inform you to- 
morrow. 

Captain McA proposes sailing to-morrow. 

I have sent two pairs of clasps for the children. 
If I had time to procure any thing worth my dear 
Bell's acceptance, I would cheerfully go about it. 
At least, I will endeavour to chat a little in the 
morning before I go any where. Poor Ensign 

G has lost his lieutenancy for want of cash ; 

it is supposed his uncle's affairs are not in the best 
order ; I am really sorry for him. 

Remember me to Mrs. McA and Mrs. 

G • So much for just acquainting you of my 

safe arrival and being in good health, and at the 
same time assuring you of my warmest love and 
affection. By all means write often, and very 
soon. Adieu, my dearest Bell, 

Most sincerely yours, 

I. Graham. 

* Daughter of Vanburgh Livingston, Esq. 



LETTER XI. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO DOCTOR GRAHAM. 

Schenectady, 1772. 

MY DEAREST DOCTOR, 

I was made happy with your letter this 
evening by post, the first from New-York, and 
third in all. I am very lucky. I have got the 
half you have sent ; yet it is still a satisfaction to 
know that you wrote, though I should never see 
them. This is the fourth from me, and you have 
received none ; it is hard, but how could you 
threaten so ? Were you never to see a line from 
me, you might be sure, I could not keep long si- 
lence. You have alarmed me, my love — the 
transports were to sail with other vessels, which 

have now arrived. Grandidier is gone, McA 

goes on Monday, and not one word either of your 
eoming up, or allowing me to go down ; for hea- 



60 MRS. GRAHAM 

ven's sake, Doctor, do not leave me. I cannot, in- 
deed I cannot, stay behind. I must risk all or be 
miserable. I repeat, dear Doctor, do not leave 
me ; if you must go, I must follow. I would go 

down with Mrs. McA , but I am afraid of 

disobliging you, as you give me no sort of license. 
I look at your letter from Albany. You say there 
is a probability of your leaving the army. What 
has become of that probability ? To-morrow is 
Sunday. I shall not think it wrong to add a line 
or two, if I have any thing to say that may be 
written. 

Sunday Evening. 

I have been to church all day, but could not 
attend. I read that part of your letter to Captain 

McA regarding the transports ; he and his 

lady are of opinion that I ought to go with them. 
O, that I were at liberty. My mind is like the 
troubled sea — now I think I will go, again I think 
I will wait ; nothing but the fear of disobliging 
you, which I never did willingly in my life, pre- 
vents me from packing up. 

When I came home from church I found my 
children a great trouble to me. That I might be 



TO HER HUSBAND. Gl 

at liberty to ruminate at large, my God only pre- 
sent, I went into the fields. It was a charming 
evening, not a breath of wind, nor any thing to be 
heard, but the lowing of cattle at a distance, the 
chirping of grasshoppers amongst my feet, and the 
soft murmurs of the creek winding along ; yet this 
deep, serene scene could not compose my roubled 
mind. I poured out my soul into the bosom of 
my God, and implored his direction. I considered 
probabilities, according to their various appear- 
ances, and am yet undetermined. 

Upon reviewing what I wrote yesterday, I find 
I am unworthy to be heard : have I not given 
over myself and concerns to the direction of Pro- 
vidence f Often have I, since I parted with you, 
begged and prayed with all my heart, that God 
would direct your judgment, that he would lea J 
you to take such measures as might, in the end, 
prove best for you and yours, and form and fix 
your resolutions, with this promise, that T would 
acquiesce in whatever was done ; and now I begin 
to retract, and say, I will not submit — frail mor- 
tal ! Forgive me, my God — forgive me, my 
husband. Let Him do with me what he sees best, 
and through you whom He has made my lord, 

6 



62 MRS. MARSHALL TO HER HUSBAND. 

choose for us, what He in his infinite wisdom sees 
fittest for us. 

Now I will conclude lest I again relapse. 

Farewell, I am more than I can express, 

Your affectionate wife, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XII. 



DR. GRAHAM TO MRS. GRAHAM, SCHENECTADY.* 

Neic-York, Oct. 6, 1772. 

MY DEAREST BELL, 

I am afraid this epistle will be the most dis- 
agreeable of any you have had yet ; but I will 
never conceal from you what it is necessary you 
should know. 

Last post brought a letter from Doctor H , 

declining the purchase, pretending he cannot join 
before some time in November ; but I can easily 
discern he has altered his mind, which, according 

* Immediately on receiving this letter Mrs. Graham left Sche- 
nectady 3 and joined her husband in New- York; from whence 
they embarked with the regiment, on the 5th of November 1772, 
for the island of Antigua. They arrived on the 1st of December, 
and, three weeks after, six companies were ordered to St. Vin- 
cents, to quell an insurrection of the Caribs, or Indians of that 
island. Doctor Graham had to accompany them. 



64 DOCTOR GRAHAM 

to our present conception of things, is a very 
great disappointment ; but whether it may not, in 
the end, be for our advantage, is what we do not 
know. All that can be said is, it has not failed 
on my side ; and the Major has written another 
letter, by post, enforcing the necessity of his com- 
ing, at the same time promising all the indulgence 
in his power. If this letter bring him good ; if not, 
I must go with the regiment. Every person here 
gives a favourable account of the Island, and by 
far the preference to Jamaica. You know I have 
all along left your going, or staying, or residing 
where you are, entirely to yourself; at the same 
time, I hope you are perfectly convinced, that I am 
always happy when I have it in my power to be 
with my dearest wife and best friend. Now, after 
this long preamble, I must be explicit. It is un- 
certain how long we may be here, as the arrival 
of the transjDorts depends on the winds, &c, and 
it will be three weeks before we receive a letter 

from Doctor H . If you choose to come 

here, I hope this will be in time before Lieutenant 

C leaves Schenectady ; but, if not, Mr. Ellis 

will get you information of a sloop, and exactly 
when she sails, before you leave your own house, 
so that you may sleep on board the same night 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 65 

you leave Schenectady. Captain G and fa- 
mily did so. 

But, if you choose to remain where you are, and 
allow me to go with the battalion, and write to 
you what kind of climate and place it is, and 
whether I think of continuing in the army or not, 
so as to determine your motions in the spring, I 
will take care that you shall want for nothing but 
each other's company, which I flatter myself is 
equally disagreeable to us both ; but, by all 
means, write me by post, whatever your resolution 
be. It is not in my power to get away, from the 

number of sick, M going out and kicking up 

a dust about medicine money, and other griev- 
ances. Whatever money you want, get it from 
Mr. E . 

When I reflected seriously upon leaving the re- 
giment, and launching out into the wide world 
again, without any sort of settlement or certainty, 
with no great taste for pushing business, I must 
own it looked gloomy ; but I comforted myself 
that it was a plan agreeable to my best friend on 
earth, and, at the same time, convinced she would 
contribute all in her power to the support of our 
numerous family. My manner of life is entirely 

6* 



6G DOCTOR GRAHAM 

changed. I am not fond of company, and indif- 
ferent about show ; the great world I abhor ; a few, 
and but a few, chosen friends, I could enjoy, and 
to give them what I could afford good of its kind. 

We may plan and scheme, and consequently 
propose, what we think most conducive to hap- 
piness, but God Almighty, who is also the God of 
Providence, will dispose all things according to 
his will, and, in the end, I hope for our everlasting 
welfare. 

I believe the greatest number in the battalion 

will be glad at my disappointment. Mr. McD 

desires to be remembered to you. Compare si- 
tuations with his wife : they have been long, very 
long, together, and yet it is a thousand chances to 
one if they ever see each other again — he told me 
the struggle and distress he was in, how to dispose 
of her, in such a manner as he could wish, and at 
the same time afford. I dare say I have fatigued 
you with so much matter of a disagreeable sort; 
but I can, from my very sour, assure you my af- 
fection and attachment grows more and more, if I 
may use the expression, when I long thought it 
was impossible to increase ; and, I think, I never 
would murmur to finish my life on an island with 
my dearest Bell, if she had every necessary. 



LETTER XIII. 



FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME. 

New-York, Oct. 2, 1772. 

MY DEAREST LIFE, 

The very next morning, after writing you 
last, (Friday), I received your letter. I under- 
stand Ensign G should have brought it ; but 

he was kind enough to send it by a safe hand, be- 
fore he could arrive himself. By this letter you 
seem to be very much distressed; but, be assured, 
our distress is equal on account of separating. 
My mind dwells constantly on my dearest Bell, 
and I have no enjoyment equal to that of doing 
what I think will contribute to her pleasure and 
happiness. * * * * 

Sunday last I was in the Dutch church, where 
I heard a Mr. Laidley* preach. He is a Scotch- 

* Doctor Laidley. 



68 DOCTOR GRAHAM 

man, and seems a sincere, serious, good man : in 
the afternoon I heard a Mr. Livingston,* who is 
reckoned a good orator; but neither of them are 
equal to Doctor Rodgers, of the presbyterian meet- 
ing, either for matter or manner. 

Yesterday I waited on the General, and had a 
little talk with him ; about an hour after I received 
a card to dine with him to-morrow ; I would 
rather not, but I must, at least, for once. 

There was a concert and ball last night, I did 
not intend going near it ; but the Major insisted I 
should go, and bribed me with a ticket, saying, I 
might at least amuse myself for an hour or two. 
I did go, and heard a boy sing extremely well. 
I would not dance, but I had an opportunity of 
seeing some of the New-York belles and beaux. 
I got tired about ten o'clock and came home, and 
thought of Bell, read a little, then fell asleep, 
dreamed and tossed about one half of the night ; but 
was obliged to get up at eight to breakfast against 
my will. 

My dearest Bell, do not you think I am very 
good to write to you both so often, and such long 
scrawls ; but you can easily see when I am 
writing, I am conversing and thinking of you 

* Doctor Livingston. 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 69 

only. How much would I pay to have only one 
hour's chat with my poor dear Bell. You know I 
do not put the highest value on money ; but I de- 
clare, for fear of interfering with your ease and 
convenience, I have saved some dollars, which 
would have gone since I came here. 

I have been interrupted by a visit from the Ma- 
jor and his brother Tom ; they wanted me to 
sup at their lodgings and mess-house ; but they 
could not prevail on me to leave you, though it is 
nine o'clock. Keep up your spirits, my love, we 
will resign ourselves to Providence, and rely upon 
the unbounded goodness and all-sufficiency of God 
Almighty. We are his, and he can do with us what 
he pleases, notwithstanding our scheming and plan- 
ning according to our short-sighted views of things. 
Though I was very sorry this day — a fine farm 
on Long Island, nine miles from New-York, two 
hundred and fifty acres, good house, orchards, 
&c, selling for eight hundred pounds currency, 
about six pounds ten shillings per acre. I could 
scarcely resist an ejaculation against H — — . 
Are not you tired yet? Do confess. I will 
finish. I am, as ever, my dearest Bell's 

Most affectionate Husband, 

John Graham. 



LETTER XIV. 



FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME, ANTIGUA. 

Kingston, St. Vincents, Jan. 15, 1773. 

MY DEAREST BELL, 

I write in hopes of meeting an opportu- 
nity of forwarding something from your Doctor ; 
first, as a certificate of his being alive ; secondly, 
I must tell you I am well; thirdly, I propose 
giving you a brief journal since I left you. 

Between five and six o'clock on Sunday even- 
ing, the tenth, we w r ent from St. Johns, in Captain 
Parley's barge ; about eight that evening sailed ; 
had a pleasant and agreeable passage ; lived ele- 
gantly, I may say luxuriously ; several sorts of 
wine ; for eating, beyond conception ; fine fresh 
beef, mutton, turkeys, (too fat) and capons — you 
never saw their fellows in Scotland. — Haggis, 
sheep's-head broth, sallacl, &c, &c, porter, small 
beer, &c, all at the expense of the Captain : the 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. J\ 

best landlord I ever yet met with. We had a fine 
view of all the islands as we passed. Yesterday 
morning we arrived in this Bay, and understand 
we are to go to a place about eight leagues from 
this, (in the same vessel), called Chateau Bel- 
laire, to cut a road of communication to the grand 
camp. Great things are expected from the Royal 
American regiment. 

Yesterday we had a piece of very disagreeable 

news. Lieutenant Colonel W was going a 

few miles from the camp to breakfast ; he had a 
few men with him ; meeting about forty of the 
rangers, they advised him to go along with them ; 
but he persisted in taking a short cut, and advised 
them to make the best of their way ; he would 
have a shot at the Caribs ; in short, he was 
killed, and some of his party. The Sergeant was 
left for dead, but came into the camp soon after. 
What was extraordinary, the Colonel's watch, hat, 
&c, were with him. They took nothing from 
him, nor did any more to them, but ran away, 
afraid, I suppose, of meeting the same fate from 
some of us. 

About five o'clock last evening the Major went 
to camp to wait on the General : he will return 



72 DOCTOR GRAHAM 

this evening, when I shall be able to inform you 
what we are really to do ; but if we should do little, 
we can hardly do less than has been done before our 
arrivaL There is a misunderstanding among them. 
The Admiral wants his marines, it is said ; we be- 
lieve him. The planters want us to protect their 
estates, otherwise they will neither furnish negroes 
nor mules. Unless Providence strike a stroke, 
there is no great prospect of finishing the affair 
at this time. They can never produce any of the 
Caribs, dead or alive. Indeed I yesterday saw 
a (ew of them, about twelve, who had been taken 
by surprise at the very beginning. Some of them 
are very like our American Indians, but not so 
well made ; hair and eyes the same, but flat fore- 
heads, and thick and squat persons. Adieu, my 
dearest Bell, be assured I will, for you and yours, 
be as careful as an affectionate husband and pru- 
dent father can be. Though I cannot see any 
danger except from rain. It is so cold in the 
camp that they would all be glad of blankets, but 
we could not carry them. We cannot take any 
thing with us but three day's provision and a ham- 
mock, lam, my dearest, 

Your affectionate Husband, 

John Graham. 



LETTER XV. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO DOCTOR GRAHAM, ST. VINCENTS. 

Antigua, Jan. 16, 1773. 

MY DEAREST DOCTOR, 

This goes by Mr. W , who sails to- 
morrow; also a letter to Captain G . Mr. 

M begs to be remembered to you : he has 

been foot and hand to me since you left. My 
dearest Doctor, suffer me to put you in remem- 
brance of what you put in the end of your trunk, 
the morning you left me,* and let it not lie idle. 
Read it as the voice of God to your soul. My 
dearest love, I have been greatly distressed for 
fear of your dear life ; but the love I bear to your 
soul is as superior to that of your body, as the 



Doddridge's Rise and. Progress of Religion in the Soul. 

7 



74 MRS. GRAHAM TO DOCTOR GRAHAM. 

value of one surpasses the other ; consequently 
my anxiety for its interest is proportioned. May 
Heaven preserve my dearest love — leadyou, guide 
you, direct you, so can you never go wrong — 
protect and defend you, so shall you ever be safe, 
is the daily prayer of 

Your affectionate Wife, 

I. Graham. 

I am told that you have taken a number of pri- 
soners. I know not if you have any right to en- 
tail slavery on these poor creatures. If any fall 
to your share, do set them at liberty. 



LETTER XVI. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO DOCTOR GRAHAM. 

Antigua, Jan. 31, 1773. 

MY EVER DEAR DOCTOR, 

Your kind, your welcome letter reached me 
four days ago. My little friend, Mrs. Grandidier, 
and I were sitting over a dish of tea at Rat Island, 
not speaking scandal, but bewailing our unhappy 
fate, in being separated from all that could render 
life agreeable or happy, when, behold a messenger 

from Mr. McS , with two letters in his hand. 

Mrs. G had nigh overset the tea-table and all 

the children ; she got hold of them first, exclaim- 
ing, " is it possible ?" " It is, it is, I know the 
hand," (cried I). Down we sat, and were both 
mute for half an hour. We were now so happy, 
had not the children been so clamorous I know not 



76 MRS. GRAHAM 

when we should have parted ; but, it was now quite 
dark, the children almost asleep, so we tore our- 
selves asunder, but not for a long time. We 
spend three or four days in the week together ; we 
are company for nobody else, nor is any body else 
company for us. We dwell on the dear subject ; 
hob or nob to your health — in wine, in water, in 
tea, — give free scope to our tongues, commu- 
nicate our fears, our hopes, our wishes, repeat the 
same thing ten times over, and return to our 
homes with our minds greatly disburthened. You 

would hardly believe it, but indeed Mrs. G 

is every bit as great a fool as your Bell. I would 
not love her half so well if she were not. We 
enjoy a melancholy happiness which those who 
never felt as we do can have no idea of. I have 
written twice, but I scarce know what ; before the 
receipt of your letter I was miserable, and from 
such a mind nothing but confusion could proceed ; 
besides, I was far from being well. Thank God, 
I am now perfectly recovered; the children are 

still but indifferent. Mrs. G and I dined once 

with the commanding officer ; things neat, but 

not extravagant. Mrs. B and Mrs. Mc 

have been to pay their respects to Lady P : 



TO HER HUSBAND. 77 

my little friend and I think it our duty, but we 
cannot prevail upon ourselves to take the trouble. 

Dr. E and lady have arrived ; she is a 

very pretty woman. Dr. Galloway writes to you 
himself, so I need say nothing of the sick. 

My dearest love, this far I wrote five days ago, 
as the sloop was expected to sail on Sunday. 
Mrs. Grandidier is now with me, and bids me say 
nothing new has happened. She sends her love 

to Captain G , and her respects to you. We 

have made you a few biscuits to relish a glass of 
wine ; and I beg leave to propose the toast — 
" May we have in our arms, whom we love in our 
hearts." 

By any accounts we have as yet, there seems 
to be little hopes of seeing you soon ; we beg 
therefore, that if there be any thing that we could 
send that would make your situation more com- 
fortable, you will let us know. Mr. McS has 

voluntarily become my agent to find me oppor- 
tunities, and see any thing I send put on board, 
or whatever business I may have for him to do. 

I am going to write a few lines to Mr. A , 

begging, when he has an opportunity for this 

place, and has no letter for me, that he will drop 

7# 



78 MRS. GRAHAM TO HER HUSBAND. 

me a line communicating his last intelligence. 
If I can only hear that you are alive and well, it 
will be such a cordial to me, for O, at times, my heart 
forebodes such dreadful things. O, Doctor, but for 
the dear hope of having you one day restored to 
me, my life would be insupportable ; how uncer- 
tain is that hope. Farewell, my love ! may Heaven 
defend and protect you, prays 

Your fond and affectionate Wife, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XVII. 



TO MRS. GRAHAM, ANTIGUA. 

Chateau Bellaire, Feb. 8, 1773. 

MY DEAREST LIFE, 

This ominous and agreeable 8th of February 
brought me your very welcome letter, which 
proves a cordial beyond expression comforting. I 
wrote you two letters, the first by one of the ships of 
war, another to go by the packet, and as I have 
hopes of forwarding this to Kingston, I could not 
resist thanking you for your kind, very kind letter. 

We are in hopes something will be done, by 
way of Congress, with the Caribs this week. God 
grant this affair may end soon, for, believe me, 
being separated from you is my greatest uneasi- 
ness. I have perused Doddridge, but not as 
much as I might ; your requesting any thing will 



80 DOCTOR. GRAHAM TO MRS. GRAHAM. 

make me go any length in compliance, so I will 
read more of him. 

Dearest Bell, keep up your spirits ; our happi- 
ness, I trust, is not at a great distance. Re- 
member me to all friends ; thank Mr. M , and 

every person, for me, who wishes to be serviceable 
to you. Captain Grandidier always keeps time 
with me in writing to his agreeable little woman. 
All your acquaintances send their best wishes. We 
have taken no prisoners, nor will any fall to our 
share, as, I suppose, they will be exported, God 
knows where. Adieu, always, believe me, your 
Most faithful and affectionate Husband, 

John Graham. 



LETTER XVIII. 



FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME. 

Chateau Bellaire, Feb. 12, 1773. 

MY DEAREST BELL, 

Your welcome and most agreeable letter, 
the last part written so late as the fourth, I re- 
ceived yesterday, with one enclosed for Grandi- 
dier. Yesterday and to-day we have had all the 
world here — General, Admiral, Sir William 
Young, &c. &c. You must know we have a 
great many Caribs for neighbours : by some me- 
thod or other a kind of correspondence com- 
menced between us, and they at last consented 
to collect their chiefs and great men together, and 
were to come here as yesterday. The Major 
immediately sent off an express to the grand 
camp, and, in course, the General, with the whole 



82 DOCTOR GRAHAM 

staff came, besides all the principal people within 
ten or a dozen miles. It was late last evening 
before the Caribs appeared ; so this day nine of 
their chiefs came in with walking sticks in their 
hands only, acknowledged their error, and were 
willing to go where his Majesty pleased, having 
their lives and liberty. 

On Wednesday next they are to give up their 
arms, and surrender them, at Grand Sable, where 
the General is. For my part, I rejoice that we 
have so near a prospect of returning to where all 
my worldly comfort and happiness is ; besides, 
the campaigning is far from agreeable ; and let what 
will happen, there is no glory or honour to be ex- 
pected. Although I believe the Royal Tomahawks 
are envied for being instrumental in bringing 
about this Congress, if I may call it so, with sa- 
vages ; but necessity must soon have obliged them 
to surrender. So much for news. I am sure 
they must be agreeable to you. 

We continue to live pretty well : our men are 
not very sickly, at least we have lost none. The 
other morning one of the light infantry's muskets 
went off and almost deprived him of his thumb ; 
but I soon made him rid of it altogether: he made 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 33 

such a bellowing I thought he had lost both legs 
and arms. The women here are very well off 5 
they have not only provisions for themselves but 
for their child/en. I have wine, sugar, &c. for 
the sick, and I am promised some sheep to make 
broth for them. 

The soil on this part of the Island is exceed- 
ingly rich ; if the pigs were to dig with their 
noses, and you were to throw seed carelessly 
about, it would grow and produce a great crop. 
Nothing but verdure all around. Most romantic 
hills, all covered with trees, and very thick brush 
underneath, a vast variety of flowers, fine aromatic 
herbs, that when you walk along you are regaled ; 
fine serpentine rivers running down from the 
heights, and meandering along the vaKeys, full of 
fine fish of the most delicate kinds ; vast flocks of 
humming-birds. Every morning, before I get up, 
I arn charmed with a variety of notes from the 
other birds all round our barracks. 

In obedience to you, my dearest Bell, I every 
morning read a portion of Doddridge. I hope by 
the time I have the happiness of being with my 
dearest, I shall be able to give a good account of 
your favourite book. 

John Graham. 



LETTER XIX. 



DOCTOR GRAHAM TO MRS. GRAHAM, ANTIGUA. 

Chateau Bellaire, Feb. 23, 1773. 

MY DEAREST BELL, 

It is almost two weeks since I have had any 
tidings from Antigua, where all my worldly hap- 
piness resides. My spirits sink prodigiously 
when the day is nearly over, and I without intel- 
ligence ; but my Bell is not to blame, want of op- 
portunities or letters have miscarried. 

The Carib war is now over, and the poor crea- 
tures are to remain where they were driven to. 
The grounds the army took possession of, they 
have given up, and seem satisfied with the terms 
given them ; glad, no doubt, poor things, to be 
allowed to stay in the place of their nativity. 



DOCTOR GRAHAM TO MRS. GRAHAM. 85 

They have kissed the cross, and taken the oath of 
fidelity to his Majesty. 

Do you know, my dear Bell, that this Carib 
war, or what you please to call it, has made much 
noise and disturbance at home : they call it an 
unwarranted war, and that we have no right to an 
inch of their ground. The House of Commons 
refuse paying the expenses incurred, and the De- 
cember packet brought orders to evacuate the 
Island of troops, and leave them in possession of 
all their lands. That order was kept back till the 
treaty was finished. It seems our six companies 
are to remain on the Island till his Majesty's plea- 
sure is known. I am afraid his Majesty's pleasure 
will not be known for four months. Our Major 
went to the great council, and we have not yet seen 
him, so cannot give any thing more satisfactory. 
My love to my girls. I am, while reason and life 
remain, my dear Bell, 

Yours, most affectionately, 

John Graham. 



8 



LETTER XX. 



TO MR. JOHN DAVIDSON, PAISLEY. 

Antigua, April 21, 1773. 

DEAR DAVIDSON, 

How long it is since I had the pleasure of a 
single how-do-you-do from your hands ; indeed 
such have been the changes and fatigues, that we 
could not send any thing either agreeable or de- 
sirable. 

It would be too tedious to inform you how I 
was once very near getting out of the army' 
and as near making a purchase of a fine farm, 
and there proposing, at some future time, to sit 
down under my own apple tree for life ; but, after 
my expectations were wound up to the highest ,* 
nothing remained but to get leave from the Com- 
mander in Chief, and that I obtained. I was dis- 
appointed. The battalion was under orders for 



DOCTOR GRAHAM TO MR. JOHN DAVIDSON. 87 

embarking for this Island. I was obliged to do 
duty with them till my successor could arrive 
from Canada. Poor Bell, I left two hundred 
miles behind, where she was to wait my return 
from New-York ; but behold the next post 
brought tidings of great grief; my successor had 
flinched ; he could not arrange his business in 
time ; in short, he was off. Mrs. Graham out of 
her senses lest I should be obliged to leave her 
behind. She set off, bag and baggage, and ar- 
rived at New- York about ten days before we 
sailed, viz., the 5th of November last. From 
June, 1772, we were in a manner moving without 
a home ; nearly three weeks of that time in the 
woods ; but in a good tent and with plenty of fire. 
We landed here on the first of December. Three 
weeks after six companies of our battalion were 
ordered to St. Vincent's, to subdue the Caribs or 
savages in that Island, although there were six 
regiments there before. Our being so long 
among the North American Indians, and half 
savage ourselves, they reserved some of the most 
difficult, as well as dangerous parts of that service 
for us. With the six companies I was ordered to 
go ; my mate, Mr. Henderson, also ; my assistant 



88 DOCTOR GRAHAM TO MR. JOHN DAVIDSON. 

Dr. G , to remain with the four companies ; 

poor Bell left behind with her family. However, 
thank God, in three months the war ended, without 
much bloodshed in our way. I obtained leave of 
absence, to return to my family, for three months. 
I hope by that time his Majesty will say some- 
thing ; either the four companies to join the six, 
or the six to return here. 

I am not certain that I can write to all my 
friends before this vessel sails, but you will be 
kind enough to inform them that I am yet alive, 
though, at present, I cannot say perfectly well ; 
however I have no alarming symptoms ; but this 
climate frightens us who have been so long in a 
cold one. Wishing you all manner of happiness, 
I am, my dear Davidson, your friend and servant, 

John Graham. 



LETTER XXI. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO HER MOTHER. 

Antigua, June 8, 1773. 

MY EVER DEAR MOTHER, 

I have not received one line from you for 
eight months ; judge if my mind can be easy; 
surely you must know, long ago, where we are, 
as I wrote you from New- York, immediately be- 
fore we embarked. No less than three vessels, 
from Scotland, have arrived since we came here, 
though this is the first for it. I wrote you by way 
of London, and the Doctor wrote Davidson 
since. 

When I last wrote I was in great distress, my 
dear Doctor being both absent and in danger. 
He returned to me after three months absence ; 
the Major, with whom he is in high favour, gave 

8* 



90 MRS. GRAHAM 

him leave ; the rest of the battalion have not yet 
returned. 

This is a miserable quarter for the army ; 
neither officers nor men can live ; provisions of 
every kind are both scarce and dear ; most of 
those who were here before us left the Island in 
debt ; it will require great management if our 
people make both ends meet; most of them are 
very prudent. 

When we left Niagara we had saved a trifle, 
but the expense of travelling, dear living, and 
being obliged to keep two families so long, I be- 
lieve has made away with the most of it. I some- 
times fret a good deal at it. You would be sur- 
prised to hear the Doctor preach. He says, we 
ought to be thankful ; we have hitherto been richly 
and bountifully provided for ; we ought not to 
repine, nor doubt, seeing we have the same Pro- 
vidence to depend upon; that we ought not to set 
our hearts upon any thing in this world ; being 
very short-sighted we cannot know what is proper 
for us. Having done for the best, when we are 
disappointed, we ought to rest satisfied that either 
what we wish is not for our good, or it will in 
some future dispensation of Providence be brought 



TO HER MOTHER. 91 

about another way, and in a fitter time. Indeed, 
my dear mamma, in some things he is a better 
christian than I am. May God make him so in 
every thing.* 

My poor heart was lifted up with thepros- 
pect of spending the remainder of my life with 
my dear parents : the disappointment sat very 
heavy on me, and were it not for the hope that I 
may still have that happiness I could scarcely sup- 
port it. 

I cannot say any thing satisfactory respecting 
our present prospects ; we have still our schemes, 
but whether they will succeed or not, God knows. 
Why should we make you share in every disap- 
pointment we meet with ? I will write nothing on 
the subject till I can say something certain, only 
be assured that you cannot wish more earnestly a 
change in our situation than we do ourselves. 
The battalion being stationed in this disagreeable 
Island will be a considerable hindrance to the 
Doctor's getting any one to supply his place. 



* Thus was the Lord preparing his servant for what was so 
soon to follow, not his dismission from the regiment, which he so 
ardently desired, but from this world, and its temptations and 
snares. Mrs. Graham's prayers were answered, but " by terrible 
things in righteousness.*' — Psalm lxv. and v. 



92 MRS. GRAHAM 

The Doctor has but indifferent health, though 
no very dangerous symptoms. I am much dis- 
tressed with the heat of the climate, and the tooth- 
ache, otherwise tolerably well; but the poor 
children surfer dreadfully. Poor Isabella has 
been at the gates of death ; but it pleased God to 
restore her. The other two keep on their feet, 
but suffer from heat and vermin ; they can neither 
play in the day, nor sleep in the night. We are 
roasted all day, and eat up by musquitoes all 
night, a kind of insect like our midges, but much 
worse. 

Jessy has been too long with me. Unless I 
lock my children up, I cannot save them from 
bad example, situated as I am. It would make 
your hair stand on end to hear of the wicked prac- 
tices, and language of the soldiers' children ; and 
these I cannot keep her from, more or less. 
Would you, my dear mother, take charge of her 
and Joanna, I would send them by the first op- 
portunity. Do by them as if they were your own. 
I am more anxious about the piety of their edu- 
cation, than the gentility of it. I must finish with 
my paper ; compliments to all inquiring friends ; my 
tender love to my dear father and brothers. Be- 



TO HER MOTHER. 93 

lieve me, my dear mother, while life and judg- 
ment remain, 

Your affectionate Daughter, 

I. Graham.* 



* Shortly after Mrs. Graham wrote this letter she sent her 
eldest daughter to Scotland. Previous to her arrival her grand- 
mother had departed to a better world. Mr. Marshall sent her 
to Doctor Graham's daughter, Mrs. Hay, of Edinburgh. 



LETTER XXII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM, GLASGOW. 
MY DEAR SISTER, 

Prepare yourself for a severe shock, from 
an event that has robbed me of every joy or 
comfort, and left me without one gleam of hope 
but in death. 

Your amiable brother is no longer an inhabit- 
ant of this lower world. On the seventeenth of 
November he was seized with a putrid fever, which, 
on the twenty-second, numbered him with the 
dead, and left me a thing not to be envied, by the 
most abject beggar that crawls from door to door. 
Expect not consolation from me. I neither can 
give nor take it. But why say I so ? Yes, I can. 
He died as a christian, perfectly sensible to the 
last, and in full expectation of his approaching end, 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 95 

and as perfectly resigned to his Master's will. O, 
Peggy, you knew not your brother's worth ; you 
knew him not as a husband : he was not the same 
as when you knew him in his giddy years : he 
was to me all love, all affection, and partial to my 
every fault ; prudent too in providing for his fa- 
mily. I had gained such an entire ascendency 
over his heart as I would not have given for the 
crown of Britain. 

On Wednesday, at one o'clock, the seventeenth 
day of November, 1773, my dear Doctor was 
seized with a violent fever. I sent for his assist- 
ant, Dr. Bowie : he not being at home, Doctor 
Muir came, who prescribed a puke in the evening, 
and his fever having greatly abated, it was accord- 
ingly given. In the morning Doctor Bowie 
thought him so well I did not ask for any other 
assistance. At ten o'clock his fever greatly in- 
creased, though not so violent as it had been the 
day before. He was advised to lose a little blood, 
which he did; and towards evening it again 
abated. 

I found he was not quite satisfied with what had 
been done for him ; at the same time he would 
do nothing for himself. Thursday evening I 



96 MRS. GRAHAM 

begged Dr. Bowie to call in Doctor Warner's as- 
sistance, notwithstanding he assured me there was 
not one dangerous symptom. Friday morning 
they both attended, and both pronounced him in 
a fair way of recovery. 

About three o'clock Dr. Eird came, who 
seemed surprised the thing had not been done 
which Dr. Graham himself had been dissatisfied 
for the want of, the day before. Soon after the 
medicine was sent ; but, oh, my dear Doctor said 
it was then too late. In the evening they all again 
attended, and insisted there was no danger. Sa- 
turday morning he seemed very easy, and the 
physicians said he was in a fine way, The fever 
was gone ; the decoction of bark prescribed ; and 
they said he would be able to-morrow to take it in 
substance. I was not now the least apprehensive 
of danger, and was very earnest in prayer, that the 
Lord would sanctify his affliction, and not suffer 
it to go off without leaving a sensible effect on his 
mind. Nay, I even said in my heart, " the rod 
is too soon removed, it will do him no good." 
Oh, that fools will still persist to prescribe to in- 
finite wisdom and goodness. I was soon severely 
punished. About eleven he took the hiccup. I 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 97 

did not like it, but little knew it was so dangerous 
a symptom as I afterwards understood it was. I 
sent for Dr. Bowie, who assured me that, though 
it was a disagreeable symptom with other attend- 
ants, in his case it was of no more consequence 
than if he or I were to take it. All that day it 
was so moderate that a mouthful of any liquid 
stopped it, though it always returned again : he 
often said it would be his death ; but I imagined 
the pain it gave him extorted these words from 
him, rather than a sense of danger, and was much 
pleased to hear him often pray, that the Lord 
would give him patience and resignation to his 
blessed will, and still more to observe that he bore 
it with a patience beyond what was natural to him. 
He was of a quick temper, and being of a 
healthy constitution, he was but little accustomed 
to pain; but, during the whole of his severe and 
trying affliction, I do not remember to have heard 
a murmuring word escape his lips; so that I made 
no doubt but his prayers were heard, and the grace 
prayed for bestowed. In the evening it increas- 
ed, and all that night it was very severe, so that 
he could not bear to be any way disturbed, nor 
could I possibly prevail upon him to take his 

9 



98 MRS. GRAHAM 

medicine, from two in the morning until ten 
o'clock, when the physicians again attended, and 
persuaded him to comply. This was Sunday. 
About mid-day Doctor Warner sent some old 
hock, with orders that he should take some in his 
drink, and now and then a little plain. When 
the wine was brought in, and put on the table, he 
asked me what it was. I told him. He said, 
" yes, they are now come to the last shift." 

Mr. Frank Gilbert, a good man, and, I believe, a 
real christian, having come to town to preach, — for 
he is a methodist minister, — sent a note, kindly in- 
quiring after him, and intimating, if it would be 
agreeable to him, he would visit him in the morn- 
ing. He said, by all means, he should be very 
glad to see him. I said, my love, you know I 
have great faith in the prayers of God's people ; 
suppose you should beg an interest in them this 
afternoon ? He answered, " My dear, do you 
think they will forget me ?" I said, " I hope, 
my love, you are not ashamed to desire the prayers 
of the people of God, it is not now a time to mind 
the ridicule of the world." He said, " No, Bell, I 
care not a farthing for the whole world, and you 
may make it my own request." 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 99 

His disorder gained ground very fast that day, 
and I began to be much alarmed, but still I thought 
it would not end in death ; but though severe and 
dangerous, was sent in answer to my repeated, 
earnest prayers to awaken in him a real concern 
about his eternal interest, to set the world and 
its vanities in their true light, and bring about that 
entire change of heart which our blessed Lord 
styles the new birth, and without which, he says, 
we cannot enter the kingdom of Heaven. 

It was now become very difficult for him to 
speak ; but by the motions of his hands and eyes, 
which were continually lifted up, when he had 
the smallest respite, I could easily see his 
thoughts were fixed on the importance of his situ- 
ation ; besides many sentences, and half sen- 
tences, broke from his lips at different times, 
which left me without a doubt. " Farewell," said 
he, " vain world, an idle world it is, nothing but 
shadows, and we keep chasing them as children 
do bubbles of water, till they break, and we find 
them nothing but air." 

Observing this inward recollection, I seldom 
disturbed him. He was perfectly acquainted with 
the truth, and believed it. The doctrines of re- 



100 MRS. GRAHAM 

ligion were often the subject of our conversation, 
and in every point of faith we entirely agreed : 
they only wanted to be felt and applied to the 
heart. This is not the work of man, though it 
is often made the instrument ; but when the dis- 
tressed soul cannot make its particular case known, 
and when there is neither time nor ability to 
hearken to a variety of applications, and lay hold 
on what suits it ; advice and exhortation, however 
good and applicable to most cases, may not be the 
most suitable to the particular case of that soul 
at that time. God alone, who can read the lan- 
guage of every sigh, and every groan, can make 
the application exactly suitable. 

Thus I remained in silence to my dear husband, 
but not to my God. I was incessant in prayer, 
begging and beseeching that the Lord himself 
would carry on what he had so graciously begun ; 
that he would every way suit himself to his neces- 
sities, and give conviction or consolation as he 
saw needful ; but when he spoke, I endeavoured 
to answer him from God's own word, as I was 
able, or assisted. Once he exclaimed, " draw 
me, and I will run after thee ;" at another time, 
" surely thou wilt not allow thy blessed Son to 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 101 

plead in vain for me, an obstinate sinner." This 
was a degree of faith, and I endeavoured to 
strengthen it. I said, " my love, you know the 
way to the Father, through Christ, the only me- 
diator. You say right ; he cannot plead in vain ; 
fly to him ; cast yourself at his feet ; trust in him ; 
hear his own invitation, ' come unto me all ye that 
are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you 
rest,' * whosoever cometh unto me I will in no 
wise cast out.' " At another time, these words 
broke from his lips, " form me, train me, prepare 
me for thyself." Here was a breathing after sanc- 
tification ; might not the promise be applied, " I 
will create a clean heart, and renew a right spirit 
within thee." 

In the afternoon Mrs. Grandidier came to sit 
half an hour by the bedside of the sick. It hap- 
pened at a time when he should take his me- 
dicine, which he refused. It was natural for me 
to use every argument to persuade him. He at 
last got angry, and said, " you are an unreasonable 

woman ;" and applying himself to Mrs. G , 

said, in broken accents, " I know not what to do 
with Bell. All I have done is for her satisfaction. 
It is cruel, and to no purpose, to torment me." 

9* 



102 MRS. GRAHAM 

In the evening the physicians again attended, 
but could hardly get a word from him. While 
they sat by the bedside I went out to the gallery 

with Mrs. G- ; the apparent struggle she had 

to conceal her distress ; the compassion and sym- 
pathy in her countenance, struck me. I easily 
perceived she gave up hope, and I began to sus- 
pect, not from her own judgment alone ; she ad- 
vised me to send away my children to a friend's 
house, and to send for a person who was capable 
of assisting me, it being no longer proper for me 
to be alone. Hitherto I had not suffered any 
person to do the least thing about him but myself, 
nor stirred from his bed-side, except for a few mi- 
nutes, to pour out my soul into the bosom of my 
God. I hardly, if ever, prayed for his recovery, 
being willing the rod should remain till it effected 
the purpose for which it was sent, and then I be- 
lieved it would be removed, as if the Lord was 
to follow exactly the rules prescribed by my weak, 
foolish, ignorant heart. 

We are certainly taught to expect the answer 
to our prayers ; but it is because we ask amiss 
that we receive not, — and there is a presumptuous 
expectation. I thought, seeing he was so well 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 103 

acquainted with both the doctrines and duties of 
religion, and thought so justly of them, the reason 
why they made so little impression on his heart 
was, because he was too much at ease, too well 
satisfied with his present situation, and still more 
with his future prospects. I therefore often pray- 
ed, in almost express terms, for some affliction 
on the family, either in our circumstances or 
health ; true, I left it to the Lord to choose ; but 
still I fear it was a sinful prayer. How little can 
poor, frail, short-sighted worms know what will 
or what will not prove a blessing. 

Though God, in general, works by such and 
such means, he is not tied down to them, and can 
as easily accomplish his work, by the contrary, 
when he pleases. The true spirit of a chris- 
tian is an entire confidence in the wisdom and 
goodness of God, who alone knows what is best 
and fittest, and what will prove most for the eternal, 
as well as temporal advantage of every individual 
of his creatures; and next, an entire resignation 
to his blessed will. We ought to receive every 
thing from his hand with thankfulness, content- 
ment, or resignation. We ought to have no will 
of our own, or, at least, it ought to be entirely in 



104 MRS. GRAHAM 

subjection to the will of God. We ought to pray 
that his kingdom may come, and his will be done ; 
but the means by which, the manner how, and the 
time when, ought to be left to God, while we, 
from day to day, follow the order of Providence, 
and work with God to promote both. 

Hitherto I had suffered little, believing all to be 
the answer to my prayers ; but I had not seriously 
thought of parting with him. I was now truly 
alarmed, and determined to know, as far as ap- 
pearances went, the worst. Accordingly I stopped 
Doctor Bowie on the gallery, " Tell me, Doctor," 
said I, " what have I to expect ? it is cruel to flatter 
me : if you give me some warning, and prepare 
me, I may, perhaps, be able to support it ; but, if 
you suffer it to come upon me all at once, I shall 
certainly sink under the shock." He was silent 
for some time, and then replied, " I am really at 
a loss how to answer you." I said, " I will an- 
swer for you, there is no hope." He said, " God 
forbid — he is in great danger ; but still there is 
hope ; and if you value his life be calm." I was 
composed. Strange composure ; I neither cried, 
nor complained ; tears were denied a passage ; I 
was fixed, and dumb like a statue. Can I, or any 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 105 

one else, describe my situation, or what I felt at 
that moment ? It was urged, of what consequence 
it was that I should be composed, that I might be 
able to do my duty to him, as no one could sup- 
ply my place to his satisfaction, and, perhaps, even 
now he might be in want of me. I returned to 
my post, which was, except when doing some 
necessary office about him, generally on my knees 
by his bed-side, partly that I might not lose the 
least whisper that came from his lips, and partly 
because it is my favourite posture for prayer, 
from which I could not cease, no not for one 
minute. 

There were different medicines prescribed for 
that night, some in case that others proved too 
strong for his stomach, others in case of the in- 
crease of the hiccup. I found my head confused, 
and my memory incapable of retaining the variety 
of directions given, I therefore accepted of the 
offer of a friend of his to sit up with us that night, 
whom I begged to pay particular attention to the 
directions, and to watch the proper times the me- 
dicines were to be given. This he did with great 
care, and my dear Doctor was very pliable in taking 
them as they were offered. As for me, I was so 



106 MRS. GRAHAM 

deeply engaged with the concerns of his soul, I 
was unfit for any thing else. 

After Dr. Bowie let me know the danger he 
was in, I sent a letter to Mr. Gilbert, begging he 
would not delay his visit till morning, as, perhaps, 
by that time he might not be able to speak to him. 
Accordingly he came ; he asked him how he did ; 
he answered, " very ill ;" he asked him the si- 
tuation of his mind ; he answered, " entirely re- 
signed to the divine will ; he asked him what 
hopes he had ; he said, " his hope was in the 

mercy of God through Christ." Mr. G said, 

" you have no dependence on any thing besides ;" 
he said, " no, no, I have nothing else to depend 
upon." Then the Doctor desired him to pray ; but, 
at the same time, to be short, as he had but short 
intervals from the hiccup. After prayer, Mr. 

G told me it seemed difficult for him to 

speak, and he did not think it would be prudent 
to say more, that he would call again in the morn- 
ing. Monday morning he was greatly weakened, 
having had little rest all night, from the severity 
of the hiccup. At ten o'clock the physicians 
again attended ; but I could easily perceive they 
had but small hopes. My Doctor asked Doctor 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 107 

Warner if he thought he would be long before he 
would be at rest, who said, his pulse was still 
strong. He said, *' It is a hard thing to die !" 
Mrs. Brannan came to spend the day with us, one 
of the methodist society, and Mr. McNab, whom, 
my Doctor desired to pray with him, which he 
did. All this day he said little, but still continued 
in inward prayer, as was visible by the motions of 
his hands and eyes : he had many agonizing strug- 
gles, and often exclaimed, " Lord Jesus, receive 
my spirit." '* Blessed Jesus, come, and receive 
me to thyself — come — come — blessed Jesus, 
come!" Once, after a long struggle, he exclaimed, 
" release me, O release me, and let me fly to the 
bosom of my Father !" All this time I never 
parted from his bed-side, but a few minutes to give 
my soul a freer vent at a throne of grace. I never 
prayed for life, but that he might be washed, sanc- 
tified, and have all God's salvation completed in 
his soul, and received into the arms of his mercy. 
I also had been, and still was, very importunate 
that God would give me some token, some assu- 
rance that he would save his soul, and give him 
an abundant entrance into the kingdom of his 
glory ; and, by all that I had heard, seen, and 



108 MRS. GRAHAM 

felt, I was now satisfied that the most merciful 
God had sealed his pardon for Jesus' sake ; and I 
found myself ready, dearly as I loved him, to re- 
sign him into the hands of divine mercy ; but still 
I breathed after some further manifestation. 

In the evening, Dr. Galloway, an old acquaint- 
ance, arrived from the Island of Dominico, and, 
hearing of his friend's illness, came immediately 
to visit him. When my Doctor heard his voice 
only whisper how he was, he said, " I hear 
Galloway's voice," and stretched out his hand ; 
so fully had he his senses to the last. Upon his 
feeling his pulse, he asked them, if they thought he 
would be long. Doctor Eird replied, " you must 
not talk of dying, but of living ; you are stronger 
than when I was here this morning, and I have 
seen many worse recover. Do, do be advised, 
take your medicine, and try for life." These 
words brought a gleam of hope to my despairing 
soul, and what had been denied me for twenty- 
four hours, a flood of tears, and I was greatly 
relieved. I went out to the gallery, and gave 
a free vent to my bursting heart. I now also 
begged the Lord for his life, and said, in my 
heart, should he now be restored, what a 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 109 

double blessed would he be, healed in soul and 
body. I returned to his bed-side, and I thus ad- 
dressed my beloved : " My dearest life, the doctors 
have still hopes, and we know nothing is impos- 
sible with God. Who knows what further service 
he may yet have for you in this world ? or whether 
he may not give you to my prayers, and restore 
you to your Bell and family. God works by 
means ; O be persuaded to take every thing pre- 
scribed, and pray to God for the blessing ; devote 
your future life to his service, and, for poor Bell's 
sake, offer up a petition for life." He did not 
interrupt me, but answered, " disengage yourself, 
Bell, disengage yourself from me. I want to lift 
up my soul to God, and bless him for Jesus 
Christ." 

Dr. Galloway was determined to stay with him 
all night, and see him take his medicine. Some 
time after, he had a severe attack of hickup, and 
said to Doctor G , " I hope you are now con- 
vinced ?" He said, " of what ?" My Doctor said, 
" that dissolution is near." A little after he said, 
" who died for all?" and again repeated, 
" who died for all ?" I was forbid to speak to 
him, as rest was so much wanted, so I answered, 

10 



110 MRS. GRAHAM 

" Christ, my love ; but give up your soul to God, 
and try to shut your weary eyes, and get a little 
rest for your body" — and so he did, and got a 
little sleep. All that night he did every thing he 
was desired, but would drink nothing but cold 
water, which had been allowed him. The wine 
he would not touch. His disorder increased 
so fast, that Doctor Galloway, about five in the 
morning, said to me, " I may go home — I can be 
of no service, and I cannot stand it." I said, " I 
suppose I need not disturb him any more with 
medicine." He said, " no, you may give him 
what he calls for." Now, my God, all is over ! 
I resign him up to thee ! Only one parting word ; 
something yet I require to assure my heart that 
thou wilt receive his soul. Some time after, he 
laid his hand upon Mrs. Brannan's lap and made 
a sign to her ; afterwards he made a sign to me, 
who was at the back of the bed, to come round. 

Mrs. B thought he wanted her to retire, 

which she did. He looked after her. I said, 
1 my love, she thinks you want to say something 
to me, can you speak ?" He said, "join — pray," 
which we did. He spoke no more for some 
lime, only te come, sweet Jesus," and frequently, 
" receive my spirit." These words were given 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. Ill 

for my sake. I cried, " I am satisfied, Lord, and 
I yield him up to thee, with all my heart; thou 
hast given me all my asking. I will not be longer 
faithless, but believing. Continue to support his 
departing soul, and let the enemy find nothing in 
him." The next attack of hiccup laid him back 
speechless, and I believe senseless in the last 
parting work : he had no further struggle, nor 
need of any person to support him. I therefore 
again placed myself on my knees by his bed-side, 
determined not to quit that posture till his soul 
had entered its rest ; but nature was worn out, 
and though I swallowed hartshorn and water in 
great quantities, I was so overcome that I was 
obliged to lie down at the back of the bed to save 
me from fainting. Three hours did he continue 
in this last work of the heart. I watched his last, 
and delivered him up with a hearty prayer and a 
full assurance ; but oh, how earnestly I wished to 
go with him. I was, for the time, entirely insen- 
sible to my own loss ; my soul pursued him into 
the invisible world, and, for the time, cordially 
rejoiced with the spirit. I thought I saw the angel 
band ready to receive him, among whom stood 
my dear mother, the first to bid him welcome to 
the regions of bliss. 



112 MRS. GRAHAM 

I was then desired to leave the room, which I 
did, saying, " my Doctor is gone. I have ac- 
companied him to the gates of Heaven : he is 
safely landed ; that is now not him that lies there. 
You, nurse, will see it decently dressed; then I 
may again be permitted to take another parting 
kiss." So, embracing the precious clay, I went into 
the parlour. Some friends came in to see me. 
My composure they could not account for : our 
sincere and tender regard for each other was too 
well known to allow them to impute it to indif- 
ference. My distress at parting with him, even 
for a couple of months, when he went to St. Vin- 
cents, and dejection of spirit the whole time, till 
his return, left them as little room to impute it to 
want of sensibility : at last they discovered that I 
was stupified with grief and fatigue ; but they little 
knew that at that hour I rejoiced ; indeed I told 
them ; but, I suppose, was not believed. I was 
asked if I had any thing particular to say respect- 
ing the funeral. I said, nothing — my charge is 
gone to rest ; I would leave it to them. It was 
then proposed to bury next day at ten o'clock. I 
said that was very early ; they answered, by that 
time I would be satisfied it was not too early. 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 113 

In the evening I returned to our bed-chamber 
to take a last farewell of the dear remains. The 
countenance was so very pleasant, I thought there 
was even something heavenly, and could not help 
saying, " You smile upon me, my love ; surely 
the delightful prospect, opening on the parting 
soul, left that benign smile on its companion, the 
body." T thought I could have stood and gazed 
for ever; but, for fear of relapsing into immode- 
rate grief, I withdrew after a parting embrace, and 
with an intention not to ask for another, lest a 
change in his countenance might shake my peace, 
for oh, we are weak, and, at certain times, not sub- 
ject to reason. I went to bed purely to get alone, 
for I had little expectation of sleep ; but I was 
mistaken, nature was fairly overcome with watch- 
ing and fatigue. I dropped asleep, and for a few 
hours forgot my woes ; but oh 5 the pangs I felt on 
my first awakening. I could not, for some time, 
believe it true that I was indee'd a widow, and that 
I had lost my heart's treasure — my all I held dear 
on earth. It was long before day. I was in no 
danger of closing my eyes again, for I was at that 
time abandoned to despair, till recollection, and 
the same considerations which at first supported 

10* 



114 MRS. GRAHAM 

me, brought me a little to myself. I considered, I 
wept for one that wept no more ; that all my fears 
for his eternal happiness were now over, and he 
beyond the reach of being lost ; neither was he 
lost to me, but added to my heavenly treasure; 
more securely mine than ever. Those snares and 
temptations arising from the corrupt customs of a 
degenerate age, which had so often caused my 
fears, could never reach him there. The better, 
dearer half of myself, was now secure, beyond the 
possibility of feeling and waiting my arrival to com- 
plete his bliss. O happy hour, which shall also 
set my soul at liberty, and unite us never to part 
more. In the morning I asked the nurse if there 
was any alteration ; she said, no. I again returned 
to take another view, and was surprised to find 
his colour, countenance, and every part, without 
the smallest sign of putrefaction. All whom I had 
known die of that disorder, used to bleed at the 
nose, mouth, and eyes, very often before death, 
but always within a short time after ; and often 
the men who died in the hospital in the evening, 
they were obliged to put in the coffin and set 
out of doors before morning; but about him every 
thing was clean, dry, and sweet, as when alive. 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. H5 

I began to be extremely uneasy at having consent- 
ed to so early a burial. I returned again, and 
again ; oh, how I wished to have kept him for ever ! 
Ten o'clock came ; the company assembled ; I 
became very uneasy ; at last I discovered it to 
Doctor Bowie, begged he would only view him ; 
how fresh the colour ; how every way like life ! 
He assured me there was not the smallest doubt 
but that he was gone. I was not satisfied with 
this, but made them all inspect him. All agreed 
in the same thing, and I was obliged to yield, and 
the dear remains were ravished from my sight. 
What a night I passed, the night after the funeral! 
I had ordered our own bed to be made up, and 
at the usual time retired ; but in vain did I try to 
sleep ; the moment my senses began to lose in- 
sensibility, I was in a kind of dream. Finding 
myself alone, I imagined he was out at supper, 
though he seldom was without me ; now I thought 
I heard his foot on the stairs, and started up to 
listen if it were he, and to bid him welcome, when 
my roused senses told me, what I could still hardly 
credit, that I had no husband to expect, and threw 
me into a fresh agony, which kept me awake till 
I had in some measure again reconciled myself to 



116 MRS. GRAHAM 

my solitary situation. But, having only slept a few 
hours since my dear Doctor was taken ill, I no 
sooner got my mind a little composed, than sleep 
again began to overpower my senses, when the 
same, or a similar imagination roused me. Some- 
times I heard his voice in the room, ask, in his usual 
way, " Bell, are you asleep ?" Several times, at 
the relieving of the guard, when the sentry called, 
" who's there?" I listened, as usual, to hear the 
well-known, welcome voice that answered. A 
person lay sick in the next room ; every groan 
from him roused me to ask what was the matter 
with my dear Doctor, or if he wanted any thing. 
Thus I spent the first part of the night, still I 
dreaded closing my eyes, as I dreaded the se- 
verest agony ; for the one was a sure consequence 
of the other. I rose and dressed myself; tried 
to read ; but could find no subject interesting 
enough ; at last I went out to the gallery. The 
moon shone clear, in the midst of the blue be- 
spangled firmament ; here I walked and aban- 
doned myself to thought, finding recollection my 
surest guard against despair. I could not help 
pouring my grief into the same tender bosom 
which was wont to soothe them. I was strongly 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 117 

persuaded my Doctor was near, and felt a hea- 
venly sympathy for his distressed partner. I told 
him all my griefs and consolations too. I con- 
gratulated him on his escape from a world of sor- 
row, to where all is peace, joy, and ineffable de- 
light ; told him how much I longed to be with 
him, and rejoiced in the not distant prospect; 
nay, either my imagination sees, or some other 
cause suggested to me his answers. 

And in this (whether imaginary or real I shall 
not say) dialogue I enjoyed a pleasure which those, 
who never felt as I did, can have no idea of. 

The morning came. When I was called down 
to breakfast, the sight of his empty seat distracted 
me. I returned to my room, though I thought it 
my duty to take some nourishment. I had it 
brought to me. Alas, I could no where turn my 
eyes, but the sight was connected with this dear 
idea, and recalled past delights never more to re- 
turn. Our back windows looked into the garden, 
on which he had bestowed so much labour and 
pains, and was just bringing to perfection. Here, 
we had spent many pleasant hours together, and 
indulged that freedom of conversation, the natural 
consequence of an unbounded confidence. The 



118 MRS. GRAHAM 

double arbour he had reared, and so contrived 
as to screen from both the south and the western 
sun, bid fair, in a short time, to screen us also from 
every eye. Hitherto we had been confined to morn- 
ing hours, or afternoon, when it was shaded by the 
house ; but had often pleased ourselves with the 
hours we should spend in this cool retreat, even 
at noon-day, while screened from the sun's scorch- 
ing rays, we might enjoy the refreshing breeze 
through its leafy openings ; but these delightful 
prospects were now for ever at an end ! I might, 
indeed, there take my seat ; but the tongue which 
every where charmed, was buried in deepest si- 
lence ! The company, which rendered every 
scene pleasant, was gone, never to return : his 
sheep, his goats, nay, even the poultry, were often 
fed from his hand : every thing served to distract. 
As for my children, they were, by kind friends, 
kept for some time out of my sight ; for not only 
to view them fatherless distressed me, but their 
thoughtless mirth and play was altogether insup- 
portable. 

I accepted an invitation from Mr. Gilbert's fa- 
mily, to spend some time in the country with them ; 
for though it was impossible for me to forget for 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. H9 

one moment, yet, when these objects were re- 
moved from my sight, I was more able to turn my 
thoughts upward, to where my heart's treasure 
now is, and where I, myself, expect to be. We had 
two men-servants, and my two Indian girls ; one 
of the men I dismissed, the other I left to take 
care of the living creatures about the place. One 
of my girls I boarded where she would be in good 
company, and with my children and their maid I 
abandoned my solitary dwelling. I met with a 
very tender reception from that worthy family. 
My situation here was such as I both expected and 
wished, and attended with many outward circum- 
stances which had the probability of making it 
supportable. I was allowed to be as much by 
myself as I chose. No one intruded on my pri- 
vacy without my consent ; but one or other of the 
Mrs. Gilberts often visited me in my own room, 
and drew from my bursting heart all its griefs, 
sympathizing, soothing, and advising at the same 
time. They are both women of great piety, 
having for many years devoted their hearts, time, 
talents, and fortune, to the service of God, and 
their two husbands likewise, whose business it 
has been to instruct the ignorant negroes without 



120 MRS. GRAHAM 

fee or reward. Had it not been for this family, I 
know not where the destraction of my mind might 
have ended. My grief was greatly alleviated, and 
I supported, I hope by a divine hand, with the 
consolation that my dear husband was happy ; but 
this assurance continued but a short time un- 
shaken ; doubts concerning his state began to 
press upon my mind soon after. 

I hope they were from the enemy. I began to 
suspect my reasons for thinking so were more ima- 
ginary than real, and only the consequence of my 
wishes and ardent desires. 

Some circumstances in his life, which, though 
blameless in the eye of the world, nay, some of 
them, (such as certain points of honour), highly 
applauded, appeared, to my doubting mind, with 
every possible aggravation, and the motive, even 
where it was really praiseworthy, not solely to 
please God. 

When I compared his character with that of 
others, it seemed faultless ; but if Christian purity 
was the rule, and the motives, inducements and 
desires, of the heart judged, I feared in these he 
would be found wanting. I have not changed 
my sentiments, I still believe God admitted of 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 321 

repentance, and that salvation was the gift of God 
thro ugh faith, not merited by the sinner; that the 
promise was to the believer, not the worker, and 
often fled to scripture for relief; but found justi- 
fication and sanctification always went hand in 
hand. I searched for sick-bed repentances, but 
found, wherever the Lord pardoned the sin of the 
soul, he healed the body, and raised up the sinner 
to put in practice the new desires of his heart, and 
become meet for the redeemed inheritance. I 
also went great lengths in reasoning how a soul, 
so little experienced in the spiritual life below, 
could all at once become capable of relishing those 
pure delights above : or a soul, not accustomed 
to converse with God, and have communion with 
him below, could, all at once, rejoice in his pre- 
sence above. These, and a thousand more, for 
and against, and against and for, agitated my mind 
like a feather on the troubled ocean — now I be- 
lieved, next minute I almost pronounced it im- 
possible; thus, by reasoning, I lost my peace, 
instead of resting on those extraordinary supports 
and consolations which were poured into my soul, 
when all who knew me expected me to sink under 
my affliction. Surely these were from the divine 

11 



122 MRS. GRAHAM 

hand, and the answer of prayer. Surely that re- 
signation I then experienced was not mine, but 
the gift of God, nor those assurances of my hus- 
hand's eternal happiness given to deceive. The 
Lord has no need to have recourse to deception 
to comfort his creatures ; besides, it is contrary to 
the purity of his nature. 

O that I could but believe and trust ; and hav- 
ing committed into the hands of his mercy what I 
valued and loved equal, if not superior, to my 
own soul, believe that it will not be found wanting 
in the day when he makes up his jewels. 

These heart-rending doubts and distracting sus- 
picions I made no scruple to communicate to both 
these ladies, and they always relieved me, nay, 
for the most part, left me satisfied. But my 
peace was generally of short standing, for the 
busy, subtle enemy furnished me with objections 
to all they could say, though it had great weight 
with me, believing that they knew much of the 
mind of the Lord ; for sure, if ever disciples, 
since the beloved John, were permitted to lean on 
their Master's bosom, it is the privilege of these 
two holy pairs. Yet all they could say and ad- 
vance from Scripture, was not sufficient for any 



TO MISS MARGARET GRAHAM. 123 

length of time to dispel my doubts, or restore my 
peace. I wanted something supernatural, and 
wished ardently for a dream or vision. Still the 
cry of my soul was, O if I could but be sure, be- 
yond a doubt, that he had indeed obtained mercy, 
my mourning would be turned into songs of praise, 
my tears would be dried up, and I could go on my 
way rejoicing. O, if it could be but permitted — 
if I could see him only once more to assure me 
that he was happy, no creature on earth would be 
more so than I. Only assure me of this, and, so 
far from wishing him back to earth again, I would 
rejoice that he was safely landed, and join with 
him in singing the praise of pardoning love, free 
grace, and unmerited goodness ; sure no heart on 
earth would be so grateful as mine. 

I often walked out in the twilight, among the 
sugar-canes, and the most solitary places I could 
find ; sometimes continuing my walk till it was 
quite late ; during which time I conversed with 
God and my husband by turns ; but the latter had 
by far the greatest share. I asked him a thousand 
questions, told him all my doubts and fears, and 
often expressed an ardent desire to see him : nay, 
I was not without hopes of being indulged. I 



124 MRS. GRAHAM, &C. 

had no uneasy apprehensions of the approach of a 
spirit, at least of his. Sometimes an uneasy 
thought darted across my mind, that the Lord, to 
punish me for rny excessive eagerness in this 
matter, might permit an evil spirit to personate his 
dear form, or make the impression on my imagi- 
nation, which is the same thing, and, by so doing, 
either drive me to despair, or gain some other 
advantage over me ; but in this matter I was kept 
pretty easy by prayer. I frequently laid my case 
before the Lord, and poured my sad com- 
plaint into his merciful ear, who dropped a 
tear with Mary and Martha over a brother's grave, 
and who, we are told, can be touched with a feel- 
ing of all our sinless infirmities : he knew the 
love that existed between us, and that the interest 
of his soul ever lay nearest my heart, even in his 
lifetime ; that I ever felt the same concern about 
his as I did about my own salvation ; that, though 
his state was now fixed beyond a possibility of 
change, and I no longer at liberty to pray for him, 
nor he within the reach of my prayers, * * # 

4^ w ^ 3v 

* The conclusion of this letter has not been found. 



LETTER XXIII. 



MRS. GILBERT TO MRS. GRAHAM. 

Antigua, 1773. 

I hope my dear Mrs. Graham does not im- 
pute my silence to forgetfulness of her, or of her 
tender cares, or suppose me to be unmoved at her 
pathetic letter, which is so true a copy of an af- 
flicted mind. No, my dear madam, though I am 
a poor proficient in the school of Christ, yet I 
trust, I may say, I have in some degree learned 
to sympathise with his suffering members. I am 
so far from censuring you, or thinking you need 
reproof, that I would far rather unite my thanks, 
with yours, to that divine power who has thus 
supported your feeble nature under the affecting 
circumstance of a return to a place where every 
thing must necessarily have conspired to revive 

11* 



126 MRS. GILBERT 

every painful reflection. I sincerely congratulate 
you on the recovery of your dear girl, and hope 
that God will restore your whole family to the 
blessing of health. 

Though the path through life is in general 
strewed with a variety of pains and difficulties, yet 
there seems to be some peculiar seasons of sorrow 
and distress. These dispensations are often the 
lot of the most favoured, agreeable to that Scrip- 
ture, " whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and 
scourgeth every son whom he receiveth," and to 
these our Lord says, " what I do thou knowest 
not now, but thou shalt know hereafter." O, 
madam, believe that every stroke is from a fa- 
ther's hand, and bow in patient submission to it ; 
but sink not beneath the salutary rod : his hand 
will raise you up again, when you have obtained 
(by a perfect resignation of all you are and have 
to him) all the benefits his love designs to convey 
in the consecrated cross. Our souls are dis- 
tempered, and naturally centre upon earth and 
earthly objects ; but God, who made us for more 
sublime delights, by various methods, breaks those 
delusive ties that fetter it to sublunary things. He 
calls us to aspire to our divine original, and he 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 127 

takes our friends above, to exalt our grovelling 
minds. 

Let us follow them to joys on high, to joys that 
never can expire. Such an improvement of the 
divine providence will enhance and secure our 
felicity beyond the reach of those sad vicissitudes 
that infest these lower spheres. I was prevented 
from writing by indisposition, and, though not 
much better, would delay no longer, lest what 
necessity enforced, should appear such a neglect 
as, I trust, dear Mrs. Graham will never have 
cause to complain of in her 

Affectionate and sympathising 

M. Gilbert. 



LETTER XXIV. 



MRS. GTLBERT TO MRS. GRAHAM. 

Antigua, 1773. 

DEAR MADAM, 

It is certain that your peculiar circumstances, 
at this time, are such as would excite the tenderest 
concern in every heart that is capable of feeling 
another's pain ; but, perhaps, there are few of 
your friends that more sincerely sympathise in 
your affliction than myself. 

From the first moment that I heard of the im- 
pending danger, I have not ceased, in all my ad- 
dresses to the throne of grace, to remember you 
and the endeared friend, whose important situa- 
tion was the cause of your anxiety ; and there is 
nothing in my power that I would not cheerfully 
do to contribute to the alleviation of your grief. 
May the God of all consolation put beneath you 



MRS. GILBERT TO MRS. GRAHAM. 129 

his everlasting arm, and give you such a measure 
of his all-sufficient grace, that, by an entire resig- 
nation to the divine appointment, you may ex- 
perience an inexplicable sweetness mingled with 
the bitter draught. 

O, my dear madam, let not your mind be so 
wholly engrossed with the sad circumstance, as 
not to be attentive to every intimation of mercy 
which may be discoverable in the midst of this, 
seemingly, severe chastisement. 

Do not regard it as the stroke of an enemy, but 
as a fatherly correction, wholly intended for your 
good, and not less in love to the soul, which has 
obtained a happy release from an ensnaring world. 
Who knows what dangers that immortal spirit has 
escaped by this awful interposition. That it is 
now in glory, I think, you cannot doubt, without 
being injurious to the goodness of a most indul- 
gent God. How was I charmed at those w 7 ords, 
" I will not let my Saviour go. Draw me, I will 
run after thee." How do they echo to the gra- 
cious declaration of a promise-keeping God : 
" Whosoever cometh unto me, I will in no wise 
cast out." I think I may say, with the fullest as- 
surance, that it is impossible that a soul can perish 



130 MRS. GILBERT 

in whom there is such a sentiment and resolution : 
for who gave it ? Is not every good thought, every 
holy purpose and desire from above ? Most 
surely they are, and you may depend upon it, 
that not flesh and blood, but your heavenly Fa- 
ther, taught him that sublime language by the re- 
velation of Christ on his heart ; therefore on his 
account there is no cause of regret. It is true 
yours is a solitary state ; but it is such as entitles 
you to some of the choicest promises in the word 
of God. He has engaged to take you into his 
care, Jeremiah xlix. 11 ; to defend your cause, 
and to hear your cry, Exodus xxii. 22 — 23 ; and 
to be a husband unto you, Isaiah liv. 5. More we 
cannot wish ; it comprehends what a creature 
dared not to have asked, had not a condescending 
God promised to bestow. May the Lord so 
strengthen your faith, that these divine cordials 
may have their due efficacy upon your afflicted 
mind. May our merciful High Priest, who 
can be, and always is, touched with a feeling of 
our infirmities, cheer the gloom of this dis- 
pensation, by lifting upon you the light of 
his reconciled countenance, and whispering to 
your soul, "In the world you shall have tri- 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 13 1 

bulation, but in me you shall have peace." That 
this calm principle may lull the emotions of your 
troubled mind, and sweetly rule for ever in your 
heart, is the sincere prayer of, 
Dear Madam, 

Your sympathising Friend, 

M. Gilbert. 



LETTER XXV. 



TO MRS. GRAHAM, AT THE HOSPITAL. 

Antigua, 1773. 

MY DEAR MADAM, 

I mentioned to my brother and sister the sub- 
ject, on which you desired to know their senti- 
ments, and they, as well as myself, are of opinion, 
that to indulge yourself in that melancholy pleasure, 
as it is not condemned in the Scripture, is not sinful, 
and therefore may be done ; # though they fear it 
will increase and prolong your pain. If dear Mrs. 
Graham could regard that sacred dust only as the 
habiliments of mortality, which are laid aside, as 
our garments are at night, while we sweetly repose 

* Mrs. Graham had a desire to carry the remains of her hus- 
band to Scotland ; but fearful that she might be committing sin 
in so doing, she asked the opinion of her religious friends, which 
was given in the^above. 



MRS. GILBERT TO MRS. GRAHAM. 133 

upon our beds, and could be contented to let it lie 
till the morning of the resurrection, when the ex- 
alted spirit, your real friend, shall put it on afresh, 
would it not be the more excellent determination ? 
Alas, dear madam, when you at any time ap- 
proach that loved sepulchre, you might justly be 
accosted with the words that the angel said to the 
woman, who went to the place where our Lord 
lay. — " He is not here, he is risen." No, nothing is 
there, but what clogged the nobler powers ; all 
that was intellectual — that reasoned, loved, and 
thought — soars far above this lower sphere, and may 
be intimately near you, on the sea, and when you 
reach your native land ; and as your fortitude in 
this particular may serve his tender offspring, by 
adding some advantages to their education, let the 
superior pleasure of meeting with his approbation, 
on this account, if possible, prevail with you to 
recede from the fond inclination. Judge whether 
if, (as some even of the learned have supposed) 
that our dear departed friends interest themselves 
in our affairs, he would not much more approve 
of this tender care, towards the beings he had 
been instrumental of bringing into life, than he 
would to see you weeping over the inanimate clay, 

12 



134 MRS. GILBERT TO MRS. GRAHAM. 

from which he has happily escaped, no more to 
be exposed to any of those pains, and griefs, and 
snares, to which it had so long subjected his im- 
mortal spirit. I hope you will put the kindest 
construction upon these hints, as, I can assure you, 
I would, upon no account, grieve or offend you, 
and only mean to use that candour towards you, 
with which I should myself choose to be ad- 
dressed. My sister, and the whole family, join 
me in kindest love, and with the tenderest wishes 
for your health and peace of mind, I remain, 
Dear Mrs. Graham's 

Affectionate humble Servant, 

M. Gilbert. 



LETTER XXVI. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO HER FATHER. 

St. Johns, Antigua, May 17, 1774. 

MY DEAR FATHER, 

I suppose, instead of a letter, you wil 1 be 
expecting your poor unhappy daughter by the first 
vessel ; but, being so near my time, it is thought 
next to madness for me to venture on sea, unless 
I could hire some suitable person to go with me, 
which I have not yet been able to find. All my 
acquaintances have been on the look-out, and I 
have likewise written to St. Vincents, where part 
of our regiment is stationed. There is another 
vessel to sail soon ; if I succeed I shall venture, 
rather than stay here another year, living is so 
high, I cannot well afford it. I fear, however, 
you have no great reason to expect me, nor 



136 MRS. GRAHAM 

I of succeeding in finding such a person as I want. 
For my own part, I would have ventured at any 
rate, but when it was urged that I was endangering 
two lives, which are not mine to throw away, and 
certainly doing what I could not be answerable 
for, I gave it up. The Lord's will in all things 
be done. 

My cup of affliction for six months has been a 
full one — till within a month, never having been 
without sickness in my family since my dear 
Doctor's death. My youngest child, and two 
maids, were all down at once ; the child, and one 
of them, at the gates of death. Bell had an inter- 
mittent fever for two months. 

I was in hopes of lying beside my dear hus- 
band, but was disappointed. Excuse me, I know 
it is wrong, circumstanced as I am, the mother 
and guardian of so large a family, to wish it, I do 
not encourage it, but it will intrude, for oh ! I am 
sick of life. It is easy for me now to obey the 
commandment, and set my affections on things 
above. They all left this earth with my dear 
Doctor, who, I hope, is now added to my hea- 
venly treasure, where my treasure is, there must 
my heart be. Farewell — three weeks after re- 



TO HER FATHER. 137 

ceipt of this you may expect either to see or hear 
from me again, which God in his providence 
must determine. Till then, I am, as ever, 
Your affectionate and dutiful Daughter, 

I. Graham. 



12* 



LETTER XXVIL 



MRS. GRAHAM TO HER FATHER. 

May, 1774. 

MY EVER DEAR FATHER, 

If this ever reach you, it will be when I have 
taken my final leave of this world, and received 
my portion for eternity in the next, when I hope I 
shall have gained the summit of my wishes, and 
be happy in the society of my dear husband, and 
much loved mother, in the kingdom of our Re- 
deemer. 

My truly orphan children I have desired to be 
sent to you ; though I see no visible way you 
have to provide for them ; yet I am perfectly easy 
concerning them. I leave them upon that God 



MRS. GRAHAM, etc. 139 

who has fed me all my life, and whose tender 
care I have experienced in a thousand dangers. 
Upon their, and my Heavenly Father, who has 
commanded me to leave my fatherless children 
upon him, that he will preserve them alive. The 
God of providence will prepare for them a home, 
and raise up friends, perhaps, from a quarter 
neither you nor I could expect. 

My only concern and prayer to God for them 
is, that they may be early taught to love God, and 
serve him ; that they may fall into such hands as 
will carefully instruct them in the principles of 
morality and religion, and teach them the great, 
but too little thought of truth, that our chief bu- 
siness in life is to prepare for death. As to the 
polite parts of education, I look upon them as of 
no consequence ; they may be as good christians, 
perhaps better, without than with them ; the per- 
fection of their nature no way depends upon 
them. I am equally indifferent what station of life 
they may occupy, whether they swim in affluence 
or earn their daily bread, if they only act their 
part properly, and obtain the approbation of their 
God, in that station wherein he, in his infinite wis- 
dom, sees fit to place them. 



140 MRS. GRAHAM 

Remember to give my love to all my dear chil- 
dren, I reckon all that sprung from my dear 
Doctor mine ; and though I did not suffer a 
mother's pangs for them, Heaven knows how 
equally I love them with those who cost me dearer. 
Tell them I leave them a mother's blessing, and 
my last prayers, if it please God to continue my 
senses, shall be for their best interests. 

And now, my dear father, suffer one parting 
word, though from one no way entitled to advise ; 
this is the third loud call for you to be also ready ; 
according to the course of nature you must very 
shortly follow ; you can have very little more to 
do in this world, and therefore the smallest share 
of your attention is due to it. The young, the 
gay, the giddy, and thoughtless, hold it a wise 
maxim to forget their departed friends as soon as 
possible; this may be worldly, but it cannot be 
heavenly wisdom. To be fully and entirely re- 
signed to the will of God in all things is certainly 
the characteristic of a christian ; but this is per- 
fectly consistent with the most tender remem- 
brance ; that resignation (but indeed it deserves 
not the name) which consists in forgetfulness, in 
banishing thought, and drowning reflection, in 



TO HER FATHER. 141 

worldly cares and amusements, can be no grateful 
offering to him who has commanded us, to have 
our loins girt, and our lamps trimmed, and to be 
always ready, for in such an hour we think not " the 
Son of man cometh." How often are we com- 
manded to watch, to set our affections on things 
above, — to be dead to the world, — to lay up trea- 
sure for ourselves in Heaven. These injunc- 
tions are inconsistent with forgetfulness ; and if 
it be our duty to meditate on death and eternity, 
nothing more naturally leads our minds to that 
subject than the recollection of departed friends, 
who, if pious, are not lost, but only gone a little 
while before, taken from our earthly and added to 
our heavenly treasure. 

The death of friends makes life less desirable, 
and death less irksome ; and is it not much better 
to endeavour, by familiarising our thoughts to the 
subject, reconcile our minds to an event which 
must certainly happen, and with the youngest be 
at no great distance, than by banishing these 
thoughts for a time, prepare so many thorns for 
our last bed, when the pains of body are sufficient 
of themselves to bear. Dark doubts, and mis- 
giving apprehensions, are the natural conse- 



.142 MRS. GRAHAM 

quences of such conduct. The soul must na- 
turally start back from the dark, unthought of, 
uncertainty which lies before it, while the pains 
of dissolution assure it there is no falling back. 
It is true, our gracious God, whose mercy, like 
his other attributes, is infinite, often hears the 
thoughtless sinner's prayer, even in his last mo- 
ments, opens a ray of light on his benighted 
soul, dispels his doubts, and reveals himself as a 
God long suffering and gracious, forgiving iniquity, 
transgression, and sin. Some who, at the first ap- 
proaches of death, have been seized with dreadful 
apprehensions, have, at last, been able to look up 
to God with filial confidence, and with a hope 
full of immortality to resign their souls into the 
hands of their Saviour without a doubt or a fear. 
But these are privileged cases, and ought not to 
be presumed upon. Thus it pleased God to deal 
with my dear husband, to the great joy and satis- 
faction of this poor widowed heart. His life was 
more thoughtless than guilty, and at first he felt 
the distressing consequences ; but the evidences of 
his forgiveness and acceptance were so strong, we 
were both filled with the same entire resignation, 
and equally willing to part for a season. My 



TO HER FATHER. 143 

peace of mind consists not now in forgetfulness, but 
in recollecting those cheering circumstances, and 
in looking forward to that hour which shall again 
unite us, — when our friendship will be renewed, 
and glow with a more pure and exalted flame, un- 
disturbed by worldly passions, or the dread of 
another separation. 

Believe me, my dear father, to a mind ab- 
stracted from the world, and devoted to God, 
death, though solemn, has nothing dreadful in it; 
on the contrary, to a mind rightly disposed, it is 
rather a desirable object. Just conceptions of God, 
and converse with him, will very soon change the 
aspect of the king of terrors to a welcome mes- 
senger, who comes to set open the gates of im- 
mortality, and to usher us into the kingdom of our 
heavenly Father. And now may our most gra- 
cious God grant you, through your few remaining 
days, his direction and consolation ; may he bestow 
upon you that peace which the world can neither 
give nor take away ; and when the appointed time 
of your change shall come, may the comforts 
of his holy spirit so cheer, and refresh your 
soul, that you may be able, without a doubt or a 



144 MRS. GRAHAM 

fear, to resign it into the hands of your Re- 
deemer.* 

Give my love to Hugh. The sentiments ex- 
pressed in his letters bespeak him a worthy brother, 
and deserving of my highest esteem. I would 
have written to him, but I have still some direc- 
tions to commit to writing concerning my little 
family, and my hour is at hand ; but tell him I will 
remember him in my last prayers. I charge him 
not to banish the idea of his worthy and now glo- 
rified mother, lest with that he also forget her pre- 
cepts ; but prepare to meet us who are gone be- 
fore ; and Oh ! that our meeting may be with joy 
on both sides. It is hard for youth, in the present 
age, to follow our christian pattern. Every real 
christian, every Bible christian, must lay his ac- 
count with beino; branded with the name of en- 
thusiast ; but tell him to remember that the opinion 
of the world cannot alter the nature of holiness, 
nor the maxims of Christ. Let him read, think, 
and judge for himself with an unprejudiced mind ; 
with a hearty desire to know and be led by the 



* Mr. Marshall departed in peace, in the house of this dutiful 
daughter, February 13, 1783, aged seventy-five. 



TO HER FATHER. 145 

truth ; to be taught of God, and conformed to his 
will in all things, and I venture to promise he will 
not be suffered to err. But let him avoid disputes 
about religion, they are seldom productive of any 
good ; let him fortify his mind against banter and 
ridicule ; it is no small degree of persecution. Yet, 
if he be determined to follow his Lord, he must ex- 
pect to meet with it, and I know, from experience, 
it is hard to bear. I have found the safest way is 
to receive it in silence, for those who are dis- 
posed to ridicule the appearance of religion in 
another, are not in a fit disposition to be convinced 
by any argument, at least at that time, and few 
can dispute without heat, which is a transgression 
against the virtue of meekness, and very apt to 
lessen our love to the person who opposes us. 
We lose the spirit of brotherly love in hot-headed 
zeal ; which perhaps deserves a harder name, but 
conceals itself under that appearance, and it is no 
small victory gained over ourselves if we are able 
to love — wish well to, and be ready to serve 
those whose sentiments differ from ours. 

I leave you and yours, and mine, upon the 
fountain of all goodness, and may the peace of 
God, which passeth all understanding, keep your 

13 



146 MRS. GRAHAM, etc. 

hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of 
God, and of his Son Jesus Christ, our Lord ; and 
the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, Son, 
and Holy Ghost be amongst you, and remain with 
you always. Amen. 

Your ever dutiful and affectionate Daughter, 

Isabella Graham.* 



* Shortly after this letter was written Mrs. Graham gave birth 
to a son, and, on her recovery, returned to her native land. 
During three years she lived in a cottage at Cartside, and for two 
years more she kept school in Paisley. 

In obedience to the command, " she humbled herself under 
the mighty hand of God, " casting all her care upon him ;" and 
he graciously fulfilled his promise, and cared for her. In the 
year 1779 — 80 she removed to Edinburgh, where, patronised by 
many eminently pious persons, she kept a boarding-school for 
young ladies. In the year 1789, she accepted an invitation from 
the principal inhabitants of New- York, and returned to that city 
in September of the same year. 



LETTER XXVIII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO HER DAUGHTER. 

Edinburgh, September, 1786. 

MY DEAR DAUGHTER, 

Such a scene as I have been witness to : 

poor M. B is gone to her last abode — her 

state is Gxed for ever. I attended her sick-bed 
for eight successive days and nights, except, per- 
haps, for an hour, that I lay down in the same 
room. I held by life to the very last, because I 
feared she was not in a fit state to die. 

She took every medicine that was prescribed 
for her, which I administered with my own hand ; 
but the time appointed to end her mortal state had 
arrived, and go she must. She lived four days 
after the physicians had lost all hope, and I think I 
never witnessed greater distress. I watched every 



148 MRS. GRAHAM 

word with anxious care, to find if any breath of 
prayer was to be heard ; but, alas ! I had no 
such satisfaction. As she was insensible after the 
first few days, it was not to be expected she 
could either think, or pray. 

Oh ! why will sinners resist the grace of God, 
and spend the precious time given to seek and 
find it, in thoughtless folly ? What can they do, 
on such a bed of distress, who have no God ? 
Time misspent and gone — opportunities unim- 
proved and gone — calls resisted never to be re- 
peated — death hunting the soul through every 
avenue of life — a dreadful, unknown, unthought- 
of, eternity at hand — an awful Judge, and no ad- 
vocate secured to plead. A time was, when a 
kind Saviour was in their offer, expostulating with 
them, " Why will you die?" — " Hear, and your 
soul shall live" — " Ask, and ye shall receive"^— 
" Seek, and ye shall find" — "Knock, and it shall 
be opened unto you" — " Look unto me, all ye 
ends of the earth, and be ye saved" — " Let the 
wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man 
his thoughts ; and let him return unto the Lord, 
and he will have mercy upon him ; and to our God, 
for he will abundantly pardon" — " Ho ! every one 



TO HER DAUGHTER. 149 

that thirsteth, come ye to the waters." — (Blessings 
purchased by Christ ; pardon of sin, reconcilia- 
tion with God, new heart and spirit, all that is 
necessary for time and eternity.) He that hath 
no money, (no merit, no good about him, no claim 
upon any account whatever,) " Come buy, and eat 
without money and without price" — " Why spend 
ye your money, (time, talents, affections, desires,) 
for that which is not bread, (and cannot satisfy,) in- 
cline your ear and come unto me, hear, and your 
soul shall live, and I will make with you an ever- 
lasting covenant. Now is the accepted time, now 
is the day of salvation ; to-day, if ye will hear his 
voice, harden not your heart." 

Such is the language of the dear Redeemer to 
sinners every day, in his written word, from the 
pulpit, and in the dispensations of his providence; 
but oh ! the madness of sinners, who will not think, 
who will not attend, will not apply to this Saviour, 
whose sole errand into this world was to seek and 
to save sinners, yea the very chief; but they will 
not put their souls into his hands, nor give him any 
employment. A time will come, and we are 
forewarned of it, when this same inviting Saviour 
will say — " Because I have called and ye refused ; 

13* 



150 MRS. GRAHAM TO HER DAUGHTER. 

stretched out my hand and no man regarded; I 
also will laugh at your calamity, and will mock 
when your fear cometh." 

Improve this dispensation, my dear child, beg 
of the Lord to search you, and try you, and see 
that your hopes be well grounded. 

Your affectionate Mother, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XXIX. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



Edinburgh, September, 1787. 

MY DEAR MADAM, 

I have been on a jaunt for nearly three 
weeks, my school mostly dismissed* the remainder 

I left with Miss S . Goodness and mercy 

have followed me, and the Lord has taken care of 
my house also, for I find no missing of my pre- 
sence ; yours was put into my hand on my return, 
and brought fresh cause of thankfulness ; your 
observation, that we were mutually feeding on the 
same allowance, continues to hold. I too, have 
been considering the works and doings of the 
Lord, and many of them have been refreshed in 
my memory, by the scenes I have passed through. 
I visited the seat of my juvenile years, with my 
dear and only brother ; there I recollected the 



152 MRS. GRAHAM 

days of my vanity, and the Lord's patience and 
long-suffering, my repenting, my returning, his 
pardoning, his blessing, my backslidings, his stripes 
and chastisements, his restoring and recovering, 
yea, many and many times. There too, I found 
my old acquaintances no more ; most of them 
had finished their course under the sun ; some I 
could still clasp in the arms of faith, as united to 
the glorious head, and now singing the song of 
Moses and the Lamb. 

From the idea of others, I was obliged to turn 
away and say, " The Judge of all the earth shall 
do right." I recollected a cottage, a mean one, 
where lived a holy pious father, mother, two 
daughters, and a son, where the voice of prayer 
seldom ceased, the voice of complaint was seldom 
heard — not one stone remained upon another, only 
the bushes which surrounded it, and the remains 
of a little garden, the seat of secret communion of 
each with their God, in turn ; for one little earth- 
floored place was all their house convenience, and 
in the winter's storm, their little cow-house, built 
under the same humble roof, was their secret 
temple. I found three had gone to glory, of the 
other two I could learn to tidings ; but I shall see 



TO MRS. W . 153 

them one day in very different mansions. I saw 
others spreading like a green bay tree, adding field 
to field, and dwelling alone, servants and depend- 
ants excepted. I saw my father's cottage, in the 
day when the Lord pressed him down, and the 
place where my dear glorified mother poured out 
many prayers for me and mine ; my own retire- 
ment too, after the vainty I had seen of human 
life, and tired and sick of it, sought to end my 
days in solitude, saying, " it is enough, here, let 
thy servant depart in peace, and let my children 
be reared in obscurity." Then I returned to the 
town, where my husband had practised as a phy- 
sician, where I had been respected, and tasted 
largely of life's comforts. I saw the house we 
had lived in, and many tender ideas passed ; to 
this same town I had returned a widow, helpless 
and poor, was neglected and forgotten. I saw the 
house where I had taught my little school, and 
earned my porridge, potatoes, and salt ; then I 
found myself totally neglected, by some who once 
thought themselves honoured by my acquaintance ; 
others shining in affluence, for whom the kitchen 
was then a proper seat, and some reduced to 
humble dwellings, who had excelled me in my 



154 MRS. GRAHAM 

best days. Then, the Canaanites had reared their 
heads whom I had never seen before, yes, wild 
weeds which I trust the Lord, after bringing them 
into view, rooted out and destroyed. Many buf- 
fetings of Satan I recollected, many rebellious 
risings of pride, while the Lord said, " go down 
that others may go over thee." I was not willing 
to tread the valley of humility, and was ready to 
say, " verily I have cleansed my hands in vain." 
I sometimes thought I should fall by the hands 
of Saul ; but still ever the Lord has been a rock 
to me — the floods saw him — Jordan was driven 
back. This is a new application of the words, 
but I communicate with you, and find it forcible ; 
may he have an extraordinary purpose for his own 
glory. 

The sacrament was at Paisley, the friends of 
Christ gathered together to keep the feast of love. 

A child of Mr. T , the minister of the high 

church, died on Sabbath morning, who had been 
born the morning of the sacrament Sabbath pre- 
ceding. Mr. Balfour preached a sermon on, " all 
things work together for good to them that love 
God :" how suitable to the exercise I was then 
under. Here I am again restored to my family — 



TO MRS. W . 255 

I bless God I find no moral evil, though I find 
little of any spiritual good. The Lord has been 
saying, " know and consider all the way by 
which I have led thee, to prove thee, and try thee 
to show thee what was in thine heart, that he 
might do thee good, in thy latter end." He is 
now saying, " whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, 
do it with thy might"—" occupy till I come." 
Oh for a thankful heart, a loving, a zealous heart, 
a meek and humble heart. Oh, for diligence and 
steadiness in the path of duty, a due sense of our 
own weakness and inability, of the Lord's power 
and all-sufficiency, and firm faith in the same. 

Give my love to , she is the Lord's : her 

Heavenly Father mingles her cup, not one un- 
necessary bitter drop shall be put into it ; bid her 
trust in the Lord ; the time, the set time, for de- 
liverance shall come. I can witness, with many 
thousands on earth, and an innumerable company 
in heaven, that he is the best of masters. I have 
suffered much, yet not one word of all that he 
has said has failed. I expect to suffer more; but 
whatever bitter draughts may yet await me, I would 
not give one drop of my Heavenly Father's mixing, 
for oceans of what the world styles felicity. 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XXX. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New-York, April, 1792. 

MY DEAR MADAM, 

I have received two letters from ray dear 

Mrs. W ; the last written came first ; both 

bespeak a mind much exercised under trials, deep 
and intricate, and demand my sympathy and con- 
dolence. Though consolations abound to balance 
sorrows, yet they are felt, and it is the will of God 
they should be. It is also his will that we roll 
our burdens on him, (blessed privilege), and that 
we trust his promise that he will sustain. 

Next to entanglement of sin is darkness and in- 
tricacy in the path of duty ; this seems a heavy 
part of the cross to you. I also have drunk deep 
of that cup. The 25th Psalm has been often my 
consolation, corresponding with your 32d, also 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 157 

the 37th and 39th. What precious consolations 
to the redeemed of the Lord ! 

But O, Absalom, my son ! my son ! David, 
thy cup is mine. Eli, thou too didst drink deep 
of it. Abraham, the friend of God, grasped at 
the promises for Ishmael . O, madam, re- 
joice, this work belongs to you, a husband in 
glory, children and yourself on the way. Often 
I think on a speech your amiable son made to me 
when I dared neither look backward nor forward. 
" Keep yourself quiet, time will unravel matters, 
one way or other, you will soon find yourself 
in America." And so it came to pass ; and so 
shall it come to pass, through the same good 
hand managing for us respecting a better country, 
we shall be brought through. What signifies all 
that lies between this and that, except the im- 
portance of serving our day and generation, and 
that too will be accomplished. I never rejoiced 
as heartily as when the dearest of friends, (my 
husband) breathed his last, when, strong in faith, 
I yielded him to the arms of his merciful Sa- 
viour, who " plucked him as a brand from the 
burning." With the same joy could I shroud 
them all, every one, for the same hope of their 

14 



158 MRS. GRAHAM 

eternal salvation, and be content to be left alone 
in the wilderness ; but this is folly, if not sin. I 
know the counsel of the Lord shall stand, and the 
purpose of his heart to all generations. Lord, I 
bow at thy foot-stool a poor, weak, rebellious 
creature. I roll my prodigal son on thee ; he is 
the only son of his mother, and she is a widow ; 
he never knew an earthly father. 

This is Saturday ; I had set it apart for my 
friend ; hindrance after hindrance has occurred ; 
it is now past eleven ; I must rest the body that 
it be not a hindrance to spiritual exercises on the 
morrow. So peace be with and compose my 
friend ; such peace as Christ bequeathed to his 
disciples. Amen. 

Sabbath Noon. — It is not my custom to take 
my pen on this day even to write to a christian 
friend, having occasion for the whole time with 
my family, or in secret with my God ; but I can- 
not go to dinner ; I cannot eat ; I cannot talk to 
my girls; my heart must bleed afresh on the same 
altar upon which it has often been pierced. O, 
madam, my dear Dr. Mason* goes, and leaves 

* Father of Doctor J. M. Mason, who was then in Scotland 
pursuing his theological studies. 



TO MRS. . 159 

me here alone ; in all probability his course is 
nearly finished, and his crown awaits him. 

You will have heard of his being in a poor 
state of health before this reaches you, for he 
wrote to his son to that effect, and his strong de- 
sire to see him before his departure : his disorder 
has increased, and is now pronounced to be a 
confirmed dropsy in his chest and lungs. 

He has not been able to speak many words at a 
time for several days past ; it appeared asthmatic 
to us unskilful onlookers. Five physicians now 
attend him closely. I have seen him often, and 
he only says, "all is well, all will be well." Of the 
physicians he said, " yes, yes, it is very well — 
they are useful men in God's hand — they may 
be instrumental in patching up the tabernacle a 
little. If it be raised to usefulness I am content ; 
if not to usefulness, I do not desire it. I fee] no 
concern about the issue of this ; the will of the 
Lord be done." I say amen ; but, oh, I feel 
alone. I would need large communications from 
his Master to fill up this blank. I cannot write 
for weeping ; now my face is so swelled I cannot 
go to church. I called at his house this morning, 
found the Doctors in the parlour, and learned from 



160 MRS. GRAHAM 

them the worst. The bell was ringing for church. 
I stifled as much as possible my grief; would fain 
have come home to give it vent, but durst not be 
absent from the house of God. I heard a stranger 
in Doctor Rodger's church ; our doors are closed; 
his text was, — u Henceforth J call you not servants 
hut friends'''' — he ran the parallel between human 
friendship and that subsisting between Christ and 
his disciples. I ought to be comforted, nay, I am 
comforted. The Bible lies open before me ; it is 
full of consolation ; but all is in prospect. I look 
at God, what he is in himself, what he is to his 
people now, and what he will be to eternity ; the 
consolations of hope are mine ; but, for the pre- 
sent, I feel like the sparrow on the house-top, or 
like a pelican in the wilderness ; and when I think 
on my years, and the robustness of my constitu- 
tion, I may have a long journey before me ; I am 
not able to look at it. At the same time, when I 
consider my children, who, having lost their pas- 
tor, who bore them on his mind to a throne of 
grace, have double need of a mother, I dare not 
indulge a wish, far less put up a petition for re- 
lease. O, that I could get under the influence of 
that spirit which I have witnessed in my dear 



TO MRS. W . 161 

pastor, — that entire confidence in God, — that per- 
fect resignation to his will, — that complacency in 
all he has done, — is doing, or will do. That rest 
in God, of which he seems to be put in possession 
even now, while his breast is labouring and heav- 
ing like a broken bellows, and cannot fetch one 
full breath. O, what cannot God effect. 

Sunday Evening. — I have again seen my dear 
pastor, and discern the clay dissolving fast. The 
words of dying saints are precious, and his are 
few. He thus accosted me : " I am just waiting 
the will of God ; for the present I seem a useless 
blank in his hand ; I can say very little ; be not 
too anxious for my life, but transfer your care to 
the church ; my life or death is but a trifle ; if the 
Lord have any use for me, it is easy for him to 
raise me up still ; and if he do, it will be agreeable 
to observe his hand distinct from men ; if he 
should not, you will all be cared for ; leave all to 
him and seek his glory." He could say no more, 
nor will I add to-night, but address myself to our 
Lord on his behalf, yours, my own, and our dear 
concerns. 

Several days have elapsed since I last wrote ; 
our dear Doctor still lives, often recruits, and again 

14* 



162 MRS. GRAHAM 

is reduced ; but man can do no more ; my last 
page, before the vessel sails, shall be of him. 

As to myself and family, we are, as the Lord 
would have it with us, and, I make no doubt, as 
we need. Business very full ; a house full of 
boarders, and about sixty scholars. I begin to 
feel the effects of fatigue or age, I know not which. 
The almond-tree flourishes ; those that look out 
at the windows begin to be darkened, but the 
keepers of the house stand firm, and all the wheels 
and springs discharge their office, though more 
heavily ; there is no judging of my days by pre- 
sent appearances. Well, let me once more re- 
turn to my rest, — God ; commit my way to him 
who shall bring it to pass, what is best, fittest, and 
in the end, shall complete my happiness. Like 
the paper kite I take many a flight, but the string 
shall neither break nor my keeper let it go, and I 
find myself daily less disposed to tug. # 

April 23d, Monday. — It is finished. My dear 
Minister's bitter draught is over. On Thursday, 
the 19th of this month, a quarter before ten 
o'clock, a. m., the Lord received his spirit, and 

* See Newton's poem, " The Kite, or Pride must have a Fall." 



TO MRS. W . 163 

laid his weary flesh to rest. He had a sore con- 
flict with the king of terrors, who seemed allowed 
to revel through every part of his mortal frame : 
his legs were mortified to his knees : he had not 
been able to lie down for four weeks, and died in 
his chair. Like his Master, he groaned, but never 
complained : he had a draught of his Master's 
cup, but the bitter ingredient desertion made no 
part of it. I had the honour to close his dear 
eyes, and to shut those dear lips from whence so 
many precious truths have proceeded, and to mix 
with the ministering spirits who attended to hail 
the released. This honour I had desired, but did 
not reckon myself worthy, and hardly hoped for 
for it; but the Lord saw the wish, though never 
formed into a petition, and indulged me. I bless 
him for it. And now, farewell human friendships, 
let me gird up the loins of my mind, and run with 
patience the little further, looking unto Jesus, and 
following also him, my pastor, " who, through 
faith and patience, now inherits the promises." 

This is a great work finished. Doctor Mason 
was " a city set on a hill ;" his character very 
public. He was with the army during all the war 
after the evacuation of New-York ; had great in- 



164 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



fluence over the soldiers ; preached the gospel of 
peace uniformly, but never meddled with politics, 
though he had a head fully capable. In every si- 
tuation the Lord supported him in uniformity and 
consistency of character, and carried him clean 
through without a single spot or stain. Glory to 
God in the highest for this repeated proof of his 
faithfulness. " Mark the perfect man, and behold 
the upright, for the end of that man is peace." 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XXXI. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



August, 1792. 

MY DEAR FRIEND, 

A vessel for Leith sails tomorrow. I 
snatch a few minutes to indulge my heart to a 
dear friend, not from business or sleep, as usual, 
but from the bed-side of my poor sick Jessy, who 
has been once more on thebrink of eternity. Mr, 
Stevenson had taken lodgings for her in the 
country, four miles from town. I received the 
alarm ten days ago, and two before the commence- 
ment of our vacation ; here I have been ever since, 
night and day, watching and toiling, without ceas- 
ing : thank God, she is apparently out of danger. 
It is remarkable, that when times of relaxation 
from business come round, and I plan schemes 
for recreation and pleasure, the Lord generally 



J66 MRS. GRAHAM 

puts into my hands a very different cup, and, in- 
stead of recreation, I have, in body and mind, 
labour, care, and anxiety. Do not think I com- 
plain. I do not. The Lord's visits are welcome 
in every form ; at all times his will is good ; only 
let the fruit of affliction be to take away sin, and I 
set my hearty amen to all I have suffered, and also 
to every pang that may still be necessary. For 
my children I have lodged the same petition, and 
in this hope I stand by and see them emptied 
from vessel to vessel with a certain degree of 
pleasure, expecting — trusting — and waiting for 
the same fruit. I do not live on the mount. I 
have no such days as I once had ; no such trans- 
porting views of the love of Christ, nor of the 
glory and majesty of his kingdom ; no such ar- 
dent zeal to promote it, nor anxiety for its pros- 
perity. A drudge in business, late and early, little 
time for devotion, and, when time occurs, little 
exercise, contented to follow out the path of duty, 
to wait the signals of Providence from day to day, 
satisfied that my soul is in hands which cannot 
lose it — that my Redeemer manages every thing 
for me in the mean time, and that one day I shall 
find myself in the possession of his purchase. 



TO MRS. W . 1G7 

whatever may be between this and that period ; 
and that all the glorious views I have ever enjoy- 
ed, the sweets of his love I have ever tasted, shall 
be restored, and more than heart could ever grasp 
at, in its most exalted moments. Also, all the dear 
friends with whom I have taken sweet counsel, in 
the days of my pilgrimage. These are my con- 
solations ; but they rather fly across my mind oc- 
casionally than dwell upon it, for, as I said be- 
fore, business, incessant business, occupies me. 

" Nevertheless, continually, O Lord, I am with thee, 
Thou dost me hold by my right hand, and still upholdest me. 
Thou with thy counsel, while I live, wilt me conduct and guide. 
And to thy glory afterward receive me to abide." 

Offer rny best compliments to Mr. Mrs. and 

Misses W , and to your own family. Tell 

he may reckon upon the widow's blessing. 

The Lord honoured him in sending him as the 
messenger of consolation in the time of need, and 
he will also, one day, give a reward, not of debt, 
but of grace — grace for grace. May the love and 
peace of God rest with you till we meet in the 
land of joy and delight. 

Yours, with affection, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XXXII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New-York, 1792. 

MY EVER DEAR FRIEND, 

I wrote you, lately, by the only vessel that 
has sailed from this these six weeks, with the mi- 
nister extraordinary from the United States to the 
court of Great Britain, to demand redress of 
grievances, and indemnification for spoliations on 
the seas. Since his departure the Commander of 
the American army, now warring with the Indians, 
has written to General Washington, the President, 
that Lord Dorchester, Governor of Canada, has 
sent a party to raise fortifications on the Miami 
river, within the boundaries of the United States. 
The President has demanded an explanation, has 
received rather an evasive answer, and has de- 
clared that no discrimination will be made between 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 169 

the hostile Indians, and any other force found on 
that ground. Things look very serious among us, 
and, however mad the measure would be, I do 
believe if the British court does not sooth or satisfv 
the American ministers, there will be war. I ought 
rather to say the people ; but this can no way be 
done but through their representatives. Doctor 

P , arrived here a few days ago, is embraced 

by the double-refined democrats. Even here we 
have our democratic societies, who pretend to 
watch over the liberties and bark against one of 
the freest governments in the universe, and against 
our good President,* to whom, under God, they 
owe what they so highly prize, independence. I 

learn that Doctor P is in no danger of getting 

into any pulpit. Alas! for the state of man, it is 
not this or that government that is the source of 
their misery and turmoils, it is the human heart, 
the anarchy within : every form of government 
has been tried, and has stood or fallen with self- 
government in the governing and governed : 
what but the restlessness and turbulence of the 
human heart, made it necessary for even God's 
chosen people to get a king r 

* General Washington. 

15 



170 MRS. GRAHAM 

God has almost uniformly governed the nations 
by kings, or individual sovereigns, and those 
countries who, at times, were not governed by 
kings, had not more quiet. When a king is good, 
the people are as happy as their corruptions will 
admit of, and sure, when the sovereignty is in the 
hands of a number of bad men, matters are even 
worse than in the hands of one bad man. Oh! 
the blessedness of the kingdom of Zion, our King 
gives a peace, which " the world can neither give 
nor take away." " Though hills amidst the seas 
be cast, and waters roaring make," &c. I had a 
letter from my brother, saying the same things of 
the state of matters in Britain as you do. Oh ! I 
trust the Lord will yet hear the prayers of those 
who sigh and cry for all the abominations that are 
in the midst of you. I am sure there is yet a 
goodly number who have not worshipped the 
beast. I rejoice to hear there are tokens for good 
among you still. 

Perhaps you cannot join me, but it would be to 
me pleasant news to hear (whether the French 
give peace or war) that Britain had given up all 
idea of indemnification. The Lord has preserved 
to her (with his blessing) the means of self-preser- 



TO MRS. W . 171 

vation, and no inconsiderable degree of prosperity 
in her navy and commerce. What is extent of 
territory but a name, and weight, and bone of 
contention ? Oh that she would now become a 
nursing mother to Zion ! what glorious work of- 
fers. Oh, that she would now support and send 
forth the soldiers of Jesus among her heathen do- 
minions, to fight the prince of darkness ! this would 
be a war worthy of nations in covenant with God. 
Isaiah xxix and xvii to the end. 

Since Doctor P came among us, Fuller's 

letters have been printed here. I have got nearly 
through them; surely the whole tenure of Scrip- 
ture is on his side, but I think, in some places, he 
strains Dr. P 's meaning without any neces- 
sity. I am persuaded that it requires higher 
powers than rationality to prove Calvinism friendly 
to morality ; and much of his reasoning will be 
lost. Scripture seems to me the only weapon 
of defence or attack to serious searchers after 
truth ; that is the most satisfying proof; and as for 
your rational christians (according to Doctor 

P 's ideas of what constitutes such) I believe 

if that take no hold of them, they will not yield 
their ground to any human argument. The 



172 MRS. GRAHAM 

Scripture must be true. " The natural mind is 
enmity against God," (the Scripture God) flesh 
and blood cannot reconcile us to him. Alas, even 
those who are taught by his word and spirit are 
often spoiled of many of their best things, through 
vain philosophy. I hear little of him. I do not 
think he injures the sheep who hear not the voice 
of a stranger; and for those that are without, they 
will wander in error's maze, somewhere, till the 
good shepherd seeks and finds them. O, that he 
himself may be among the number ! 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XXXIII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New-YorJc, October 20, 1792. 
I was much refreshed by the line you wrote 
on the blank page of Mr. Gibb's book, and which 
I did not see till a few nights ago : I thank you 
for it. I had laid past my own copy even before 
I came to America, as containing meat too strong 
for me : when I received yours, I thought it a 
fresh call for me to make another trial to com- 
prehend these mysteries ; but still I 6ndl must sit 
down at the foot of the ladder, whenever I attempt 
to soar, and to dip deep into mysteries, I get be- 
wildered. Often have I attempted to climb the 
ladder of the divine decrees, the bottom of which 
reaches to novj, the top is lost in eternity ; but as I 
climb my head becomes giddy, my judgment be- 
wildered, I lose sight of the divine character, and 

15* 



174 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 

am glad to creep down to the bottom step of the 
gospel-call and promises, " So shalt thou know 
if thou follow on to know the Lord" — " I will 
bring the blind by a way that they know not"— 
" the way-faring men, though fools, shall not err 
therein" — " I have fed you with milk, and not 
with meat : for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, 
neither yet now are ye able" — " The Lord is my 
shepherd, I shall not want." Farewell — grace, 
mercy, and peace be with you. Amen. 

From your affectionate friend, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XXXIV. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New-York, 1793. 

Oh, how I long for a letter from my friend, a 
vessel from the Clyde a month ago, but no letter 
from Edinburgh. 

I have no cause of complaint; I rather wonder 
at your punctuality ; but that very punctuality, 
which has been the cause of many a feast to my 
mind, is the cause of disappointment in the pre- 
sent case. 

We are in deep concern about the state of your 
dear country. We have such dismal accounts of the 
state of trade, — of credit, — and of government, — 
of taxes, — of despotism, and of the general dissa- 
tifaction that pervades the whole nation. It is 
often affirmed that many of its inhabitants are ripe 
for a revolt. 



176 MRS. GRAHAM 

America may boast of her government — it is 
good. Of her privileges — they are great, Of 
her prosperity — that too has been beyond all com- 
putation ; yet the Lord has expressed, in awful 
form, his controversy with her also. A pestilen- 
tial fever made its appearance in Philadelphia, 
about two months ago. Between the 19th of Au- 
gust and the 5th of October, four thousand and 
sixty-four of its citizens died, besides many who 
quitted the city with infection on them, and died 
elsewhere. By yesterday's accounts matters are 
no better : several of the physicians have been 
carried off by it, and some of them have fled. 
Doctor Rush's praise is in every mouth ; he is 
still in the city, exerting himself to the utmost, 
and his prescriptions are universally followed. 
No neighbouring town will suffer any person to 
enter their gates till they have been fourteen days 
out of the city. The stages have been stopped, and 
even the horses shot, in some cases, where they 
have been bribed to force their way through. 
The most dismal stories have been related of 
whole families dying, and no one to nurse the 
last. It is not uncommon for people to be well, 
and in their graves in twelve hours. No friends 



TO MRS. W . 177 

attend the funerals ; most of them are buried in 
the night, and every precaution taken to conceal 
the real amount of evil. Among others, Mr. 
Hazard, Dr. Erskine's correspondent, died a few 
days ago. Yesterday, I read in the papers, the 
death of one of the clergymen, who thought it his 
duty to remain with his flock ; but all the churches 
are shut up. 

The magistrates of New-York have appointed a 
numerous patrol to guard against any arrivals from 
that distressed city. Tents and hospitals are pro- 
vided on an island, about a mile from town, for 
the sick, and a tavern for the well, till they per- 
form quarantine. It is remarked that this city was 
never known to enjoy such universal health. 
It strikes me that this very blessing in such times 
portends a cup of our own ere long, for we are 
not observing the hand of God, but harassing 
ourselves with second causes. Three weeks ago 
a day was set apart, by the different religious de- 
nominations in this city, for confession of sin, hu- 
miliation, and thanksgiving. Our minister preach- 
ed from the same words you mention, as Mr. 

R 's text, " when thy judgments are abroad in 

the earth," &c, and had an excellent discourse. 



178 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



We meet every Wednesday evening for prayer, 
for the distressed and apparently devoted city, also 
in Doctor Rodger's church, and the Dutch 
churches. 

Write me the opinion of the good and the wise, 
concerning the times, for they are most awful ; also 
the state of the nation, and the general sentiments 
of the people as subjects. I hope at least they 
will let this man* go to his grave in peace. 

New, as to myself, business is not what it was. 
I have several rivals. The Lord has others to 
provide for as well as us. He has granted my 
only petition as to worldly matters, and, now if we 
have daily bread, it is enough. 

Ever yours, 

I. Graham. 



* George the Third, 



LETTER XXXV. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



1793—1794. 
Long- before this reaches you, you will have 
heard, by the way of London, that the pestilence 
again rages, not only in Philadelphia, but Balti- 
more, Germantown, and it has been felt in Rhode 
Island, that place which, for purity of air, is called 
the Montpelier of America ; and we have had a 
few cases in New-York. The city of Philadel- 
phia was deserted by three-fourths of its inhabit- 
ants in a few days, and all the public offices were 
removed : only the poor, who had not the means 
of removing remained, and some few, more alarmed 
for their substance than for their lives. And I think 
I have reckoned six physicians carried off. Our 
ministers and people have met every Wednesday 
since it began, to improve the solemn Providence, 



180 MRS. GRAHAM 

and to supplicate mercy for the sufferers ; and our 
dear pious pastor has led us through the duty of 
sympathy. " Weep with them that weep." 
Humility, " or those eighteen, upon whom the 
tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye 
that they were sinners above all men that dwelt 
in Jerusalem." Jehovah's agency and holy sove- 
reignty, " Shall there be evil in the city, and the 
Lord hath not done it." Self-examination, " Let 
us search and try our ways, and turn again unto 
the Lord." I hope it has been profitable. 

x\t last, in the public store, a package found 
directed to Mrs. Graham. 

Mr. P has put in other sermons, besides 

those printed for the societies, which I do not ap- 
prove. I have no time to dispose of his books. 
I shall sell them as dear as I can, but I would 
have all the discount I can get. I would send 
all to the Missionary Society. I wish to serve 
religion some way. I feel very useless; the Lord 
does not give me fruit among my pupils. I can 
procure love to myself. No, that is rash, I can- 
not. The Lord gives me their love and esteem ; 
but oh ! to him they are dead, and lifeless, and 
sitting under such a ministry swells their debt and 



TO MRS. W . 181 

heightens their guilt ; oh ! dear, it is sore. I 
spent my holidays, as I expected, in the country, 
with my two daughters, in a most delightful situ- 
ation, seemingly every way calculated to recreate 
and recruit. I hope it did my soul good, though 
not my body. The Lord gives me week days for 
business, Sabbath days for rest, and holidays for 
discipline. I was confined a month with an in- 
termitting fever, and was just able to meet my 
school at the time appointed ; all these things are 
well, I had much exercise of heart. The Lord 
led me back to trace the ground I had trodden, 
and oh ! what cause for compunction and humi- 
liation. Oh ! what do they do, who have no 
blood of sprinkling, — no justifying righteous- 
ness, — no free pardon ? I shed many tears, 
though I had no fears. I knew all was cancelled, 
yet did it wring my heart ; especially my ex- 
posing my children to worldly company, and not 
keeping them in the bosom of the church. I 
prayed in one strain, and acted in another. I told 
my covenant God, I asked not beauty, riches, 
honours ; and by my conduct I sought them all. 
Then did he put the discipline of the covenant 
into practice ; but mercy, sovereign mercy, tri- 

16 



182 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 

umphed over judgment. He has pardoned, and 
healed, and all our faces are this day Zionward ; 
desiring to turn our backs on these unprofitable, 
if not sinful things. 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XXXVI. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New- York, 1794. 
I have just been reading, a third or fourth 
time, four letters which have come to hand from 
my dear indulgent friend, by the fall vessels. 
Accept my thanks — my heart is grateful. When 
I consider your situation, your numerous friends 
and intimates, who live near to God, and know 
much of his mind, and all in similar trying situa- 
tions, viewing and watching for the further ma- 
nifestations of divine purposes, and the many 
deep and anxious consultations you must have with 
one another, I could hardly expect such a por- 
tion of your time and attention ; but, oh it is good, 
like cold water to a thirsty traveller, for never 
can I give up my interest in Britain. There was 
I dedicated to my God in baptism ; there did I 
receive my first and second birth ; there was I 



184 MRS. GRAHAM 

trained and nourished in the divine life ; there re- 
main my dear christian friends and fellow-travel- 
lers. Oh, how ties dear and tender multiply in 
my view. I must, I will, seek her peace, and 
share too in her troubles and anxieties. I desire 
not to be in peace when that fold is in trouble, 
but to join in heart and sensation those " who 
sigh and cry for all the abominations which are 
committed in it." When I read yours, I just 
rise and fall with you ; the last time I read over 
your letters was on a Saturday. I was deeply ex- 
ercised for you. My pastor, Mr. M , gave 

out on Sabbath morning the very psalm you cited, 
the lxxiind, from the beo;innino;, and sun£ the re- 

7 O O 7 c 

mainder at the close. I sung for you, and for us, 
we are one and indivisible in our head and repre- 
sentative, however divided by corruption, which 
remaineth in us. He has lectured through the 
xxxviith of Ezekiel, where you and he have often 
met in views of the enlargement of the church. 
The same day he read from the 26th verse, to the 
end, and spoke of the peace, the external peace, 
of the church in the latter days, " when Ephraim 
shall not envy Judah, and Judah shall not vex 
Ephraim ;" when they shall be one stick in his 



TO MRS. W . 185 

hand, one king shall reign over them, and one 
shepherd. I read in yours in the evening, 
" we are turning our labouring instruments into 
instruments of war," says Mr. Mason, in the 
morning, " and that nation which is beating its 
plough-shares and pruning-hooks into swords 
and spears shall beat its swords and spears 
into plough-shares and pruning-hooks again." 
Amen. Coming home (we go the same way) I 
said, " I thank you, my minister ;" " for what?" 

said he. " You met my Mrs. W to-day, and 

said the same things, and more, for Britain, for a 
large body of the church is in her." " I have no 
objections," said he. When you and he speak 
of the government of Christ, and his church, as 
the nation governed, you jump in every sentiment ; 
in this you are one body, taught in the same 
school, by the same teacher, and guided by the 
same spirit ; but when you speak of earthly go- 
vernments, in connection with it, East and West 
are not more distant : here the Lord is pleased to 
leave human reason to divide and separate those 
one and indivisible in him. (The French pros- 
titute this word.) This is a strong proof of the 
truth and reality of divine teaching; thus the 

16* 



186 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



Lord brings food out of the eater, for his politics 
have really eaten my spirits at times. I desire to 
bless God he has not allowed it to rankle. I love 
him dearly, and esteem him highly. He is the 
champion of the gospel, knowing nothing among 
us save Jesus Christ and him crucified, and en- 
forcing christian precepts from its doctrines. His 
walk and conversation are not only blameless, but 
worthy of imitation. 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XXXVII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO JOHN GRAHAM. 

1793. 

MY LONG LOST BUT STILL DEAR SON, 

If this ever reach you, hearken to the voice 
of your mother, your only parent, and to the voice 
of God by her. O, my son, you have had a long 
race in the service of Satan : he has kept you in 
bondage, and made you his drudge. You are far 
advanced in the broadway that leads to destruc- 
tion — to that place of endless torment prepared 
for the devil and his angels, to which Satan is 
dragging you. He has even been seeking the 
destruction of your body, that he might have you 
secure. 

O, my son, think. Has he proved a good 
master ? What have you found in his service ; 
and has he not disappointed all your gayest hopes, 
and fed you with husks ? Have you, my son, been 



188 MRS. GRAHAM 

happy ? Are you not obliged to drive away your 
own reflections ? I know you are. Dare you, my 
son, to sit down and think over all the past, all 
the present, and look forward to the future with 
any degree of comfort? My son, you cannot. 
Hear then the word of the Lord ; that Lord, that 
merciful Lord, who has seen you in all your re- 
bellion, heard every profane oath you may have 
uttered, seen your rioting among the sons of Belial; 
yet, what is his voice to you ? O, my son, it is 
not, bind him hand and foot and cast him into the 
lake that burns with fire and brimstone ; where 
there is weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of 
teeth, where the worm dieth not, and the fire is 
not quenched. No, my son, the door of mercy 
is still open to you. The Lord calls, " O sinner, 
thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help." 
" Only repent, so iniquity shall not prove your 
ruin." " Hearken unto me ye stouthearted, that 
are far from righteousness : I bring near my 
righteousness ; it shall not be far off, and my 
salvation shall not tarry." " Hear and your 
soul shall live." " Believe in the Lord 
Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved." — Saved 
from hell; saved from Satan and his snare; 



TO HER SON. 189 

saved from the force of corruption in your heart. 
— I do not call upon you, my poor corrupt boy, 
to turn from sin and work righteousness in your 
own strength; this you can no more do than the 
Ethiopian can change his skin ; but I do call upon 
you to receive the whole of God's salvation, and 
power to resist sin is a principal part of it. In 
God's word it is said, that the Lord gave Christ 
to be a covenant to the people, we have to co- 
venant with him on our part ; we are all poor lost 
miserable creatures, I as well as you by nature ; 
but the Lord Christ is God's gift to sinners. All 
the other promises are made to those who have 
received and accepted of this gift; but Christ 
himself is God's gift to sinners — to the chief of 
sinners — to you, John Graham, by name — and the 
Bible says, to as many as receive him, to them 
gives he power to become the sons of God. 
God gave Christ to become the price in our 
hand ; we take this gift, and offer back, as the 
price of our redemption, his atoning sacrifice, his 
all perfect righteousness ; and on this ground we 
are entitled, by his own plan, which he prepared 
from first to last, to plead for the full accomplish- 
ment of all the promises in the Bible : for the par- 



190 MRS. GRAHAM 

don of sin ; for the new heart and right spirit ; 
yea, for an entire new nature. O, my son, open 
your Bible, go to your knees, look out words 
there fit for your case ; present them humbly 
before God, turn all the promises you find there, 
all the offers, all the calls, all the commands, all 
the threatenings into prayer, for you of yourself 
can do nothing, and ask that God, for Christ's 
sake may pour out on you the spirit of prayer. 
I know not how to have done, yet I well know, 
unless the Lord soften your poor obdurate heart, 
it will still remain hard. O, my son, be willing 
to put it in his hand, to receive his salvation, and 
give yourself up to his guiding. I beg you will 
read with care the xvth chapter of the gospel of 
Luke. The Lord spoke these parables to show 
how very willing he is to receive returning sin- 
ners. Your mother, and all your sisters, are 
willing to follow his example ; return to us, my 
son. We will watch over you, we will pray over 
you, and we will try, by every endearing method, 
to restore you not only to health but to comfort. 
Your sisters wish you to come ; all your friends 
are willing to receive you ; we will not upbraid 
you. 



TO HER SON. 391 

Do, my dear, leave Greenock, come out to us 
by any way you can find, I will pay your passage 
here ; or, if you can get to any port in America, 
you can write me from that, and I will get you 
forwarded here ; and, after you are here, if you 
still wish to follow the sea, we can get you a berth 
in some trading vessel from this. All your friends 
here send best wishes. 

And now, my son, I commend you to the Lord. 
O, that he may bless this to you, 

Your affectionate Mother, 

I. Graham.* 



* This letter was returned to Mrs. Graham unopened, her un- 
fortunate son never saw it, and the following letter is the last 
she ever received from him. 



LETTER XXXVIII. 



JOHN GRAHAM TO HIS MOTHER. 

Dernarara, June 8, 1794. 

MY DEAR MOTHER, 

After seven months absence from Amster- 
dam, I arrived here, where I am rejoiced to find 
an opportunity of writing to you. I have been 
very unlucky since I left Holland, the particulars 
of which I shall relate, as you before desired me to 
write all that happened to me. I shall, however, first 
write concerning my health. I am sure you have 
been anxious about me, as my uncle, no doubt, 
wrote you what a dangerous situation I was in 
when I left Greenock ; especially in the line of 
life that I now follow. 

I left Greenock, to be sure, very awkwardly, 
and behaved myself there, I am now obliged to 



JOHN GRAHAM TO HIS MOTHER. 193 

confess, very foolishly ;* but I now see that it is 
best that the foolish should have a bite of their 
own bridle, and I have had a very severe one of. 
mine since I left Greenock ; but I hope it will be 
for my good. At first, to be sure, I had returns 
of my disorder, but soon got the better of it. 
After I came on board this Dutch ship, I took a 
fit, and fell from the fore-yard, and was so much 
hurt as to confine me to my hammock for six 
weeks ; but, thank God, I have had no return of 
the disorder since ; but, I am sure, I do not know 
what I would do were these fits to return upon me, 
in a strange land, where I had no friends to attend 
me. When I was in Greenock I had a good 
and kind mother to give me clothes and all that I 
stood in need of. I had also, when in health, a 
merchant to find me a ship, and when ashore a 



* After a long severe illness he was subject to epileptic fits, 
which rendered him unfit for sea service. The merchant to 
whom he was apprenticed, at the request of his friends, allowed 
him to leave, and return to his mother. He took passage on 
board a vessel for New- York. The sailors, when the captain 
was ashore, took the boat for cabbages ; he, ever fond of a frolic, 
joined them ; this was reported to the captain, who. after some 
words, ordered him out of the ship. He got on board a packet 
for Liverpool, and shipped as related above. 

17 



194 JOHN GRAHAM 

house to eat and sleep in ; but all this would not 
satisfy me, but I must have my own pleasure. 
Now I am among strangers ; no one here knows 
who I am ; here is no one to give me good advice ; 
if I do not do right of myself, there is none to 
desire me. I wrote you what happened to me 
from the time I left Greenock till I arrived in 
Amsterdam. I shipped on board of the Polly, 
Captain Peterson, the second of November ; we 
lay in Texel, waiting for a fair wind, three weeks. 
You may be sure I was very awkward at first, 
among people that I could not understand, and as 
little they me ; but, however, as I knew my bu- 
siness (not to praise myself) as well, and better 
indeed, than any on board, I soon came to speak 
a little, and to gain the favour of the captain and 
mate. I lived happily on board for six weeks, 
when it was interrupted by a very unlucky acci- 
dent for me, and all hands. 

It was on the eighth of January that we saw a 
sail standing right for us. Our captain would not 
alter his course, so that we came so close as to 
see that she was a French sloop of war, of twenty- 
two guns; as our ship only mounted eight, it was 
impossible to fight her, and we were obliged to 



TO HIS MOTHER. 195 

surrender; when they came on board, it was with 
hard pleading that they did not throw us all over- 
board. The people went immediately into the 
steerage, where we all lodged, and rifled our chests 
of all our clothes, leaving us only what we had on. 
The captain, mate, and eleven of the men were 
taken on board the French ship, and put in irons ; 
one Dutchman and myself remained in the Dutch 
ship, as he could speak Dutch and I English. 
We saw no ship for several weeks ; but, at last, a 
vessel appeared in sight, about twelve o'clock, 
but at a great distance, and, when night came on, 
we did not expect to see any more of her ; but in 
the morning she was close to us, and we could see 
she was an English ship of war. She hoisted 
English colours, and so did we, thinking to de- 
ceive her, however, as you shall hear, we could 
not. I was appointed to speak to her, and dressed 
as the captain, a man stood behind me who could 
understand a little English, with a drawn sword 
in his hand, that if I should tell them any thing 
of our having been taken, he should immediately 
run me through the body. The English captain 
hailed us, " Whence came you ?" I answered, as 
directed, " from Barbadoes," " Whither are you 



196 JOHN GRAHAM 

bound ?" " To Bristol." With what are you 
laden ?" " Sugar and coffee." " Very well," 
answered he, " I shall hoist out my boat and go 
on board of you." When he did, he soon saw 
what we were, for the poor Frenchmen were run- 
ning, some here and some there., as if they were 
mad. He left men on board of the prize, to put 
the men in irons, and to take care of her, and took 
the Dutchman and me on board the English ship : 
he then told us that he was going to the coast of 
Guinea, and would send the prize to England, and 
gave us our choice to go in either ship ; for my 
part, as I had no clothes, neither shirts, jackets, 
nor trousers, and the weaiher cold, I chose to go 
to the coast. When I arrived there, I was put 
on board the ship I am now in, and have been 
nigh four months, at one pound ten shillings a 
month. The ship's name is the Hope, and the 
captain's name Dutson. 

I am very badly off for clothes. I would ask 
you to send me some, but I know not how long 
we shall be here. If we do not leave in two 
months, we shall probably stay six or seven; how- 
ever, I will write again before I go. I am well in 
health, except a hurt I received in my leg. I have 



TO HIS MOTHER. 197 

little time to write, indeed I must do it when I 
should sleep. Farewell, my dear mother, give 
my love to my sisters and all friends. 

I am, your affectionate and only Son, 

John Graham.* 



* This letter contains the last intelligence Mrs. Graham ever 
received of her unfortunate son. He had left Demarara before 
her answer could reach him. Some months after, a vessel, 
named the Hope, was reported as having been taken by the 
French, and, the probability is, that he died in a French prison. 



17* 



LETTER XXXIX. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



1795. 
MY DEAR MRS. W , 

My last informed you, that we had been made 
to taste of the Lord's visitation,* but in great mercy 
had been spared in the midst of much apparent 
danger. I have now in my house a girl who lost 
both father and mother, and many whole families 
were cut off; my house was emptied ; my school 
broken up ; we confined to town, and heavy duty 
laid upon us at the same time. I trembled again 
for debt ; but the Lord brought meat out of the 
eater. Three years ago, when tried by having 
one house taken over my head, another bought, 
and obliged to move three times, in as many 
years, some speculating genius brought me 
under the influence of the madness of the times, 

* The yellow fever. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 199 

and persuaded me I might build without money. 
It is quite common here to build by contract. I 
could not purchase ground, but I leased two lots 
of church land, got a plan made out, and worried 
myself for six months, trying to hatch chickens 
without eggs. I had asked the Lord to build me a 
house, to give success to the means, still keeping in 
view covenant provision, " what is good the Lord 
will give." After many disappointments I said, 
Well ! I have asked, I am refused, it is not good, 
the Lord will not give it, He will provide ; but in 
his own way, not mine. 

Of course I had to pay ground rent, which 
in three years amounted to two hundred and 
twenty dollars. I think I hear you say, I never 
could have believed that Mrs. Graham could 
be guilty of such folly, nor I; but seeing and 
hearing of many such things, I fancied my- 
self very clever. Last year a basin was form- 
ed, and wharves around it. opposite to the said 
lots ; the epidemic raging on the other side of the 
city brought all the vessels that came in round to 
them ; and great expectations were formed for 
this new basin ; houses and stores sprung up like 
mushrooms, and Mr. B sold my lease for 



200 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 

two thousand dollars.* Lo ! and behold, part of 
it is already spent. All my provision, through 
this wilderness, has been so strongly marked by 
peculiar providences, my mind seems habitu- 
ated to a sense of certainty. I feel my position 
of earthly good safer and better, in my Lord's 
hand, than in my own. ###### 



* Mrs. Graham does not tell her friend that she immediately 
cut off the tenth part, and devoted it to the Lord. 



LETTER XL. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New- York, 1795. 

I received my ever dear friend's letter last 
evening, by the Fanny. I am going to copy you, 
and write when I can spare a little time, instead 
of robbing myself of sleep to overtake the vessel's 
time of sailing. 

Yours, as usual, produced many sensations. It 
has indeed been a sowing time with you and dear 

Dr. D ; it is a reaping time to dear precious 

Mrs. D ■ ; she has had a long night, but morn 

has come at last, and she is already compensated : 
let us hold her memory precious ; she was pre- 
cious in the eyes of her Lord, in everlasting pur- 
pose ; precious in life, in death, and will be 
through eternity : do you remember her sweet 
poem ? 



202 MRS. GRAHAM 

" Meanwhile Christina tread this valley through, 
The lamp of gospel-light shall be thy guide; 

The lot of thy existence ends, and thou 
As member join shall to thy living head." 

It was written, I think, after Lady Glenorchy's 
death. The first part breathed after that know- 
ledge of divine things, and that enjoyment of the 
divine favour which she now enjoys, complained 
that, fettered in flesh and clogged with sin, it was in 
vain she soared and panted after those unseen joys. 
Now, oh now ! she is in full possession ; they 
have all got together, many, who once like our- 
selves, often sowed in tears, experienced many 
ups and downs in the divine, as well as natural 
life, groaned under a sense of indwelling sin, 
washed by faith in the fountain opened, rejoiced 
(when it was given them) in free pardon, in a 
finished work, and a purchased inheritance ; these 
all obtained through faith, we are left behind, not 
having yet arrived at the stature appointed; but 
we shall obtain, though sin still dwell in us, and 
we yet groan being burthened ; it was just so with 
them ; we have the same blood of sprinkling ; the 
same justifying righteousness ; the same free pro- 
mises ; the same sanctifying spirit ; and, let me 



TO MRS. W . 203 

close where I should have begun, the same ever- 
lasting purpose on our side. My tongue and pen 
shall cleave to this Bible, let the heart wring as it 
will ; and when our trials are finished, and all our 
works wrought in us, and what is to be done by 
us, and we ripened — purified — every way fitted, 
then ! oh, then shall we also " join as members 
to our living head," as sung that sweet and now 
glorified songstress. Then shall we too, see as 
we are seen, and know as we are known, and be 
put in possession of those unutterable things which 
" eye hath not seen, ear heard, nor heart con- 
ceived." 

Dear blessed Dr. D , those who know not 

his domestic virtues are ignorant of the brightest 
part of his character : how has he nourished and 
cherished this feeble afflicted member, beyond his 
own body, even as the Lord doth his church ! 
this part of his labour is finished, honourably 
finished, and with unparalleled patience, tender- 
ness, and perseverance ; glory to God for this 
grace, which has produced so bright an example. 
I hope, I pray, that this dispensation may be 
blessed to his children. A christian on her death- 
bed said to her husband, " Oh that the Lord may 



204 MRS. GRAHAM 

do that by my death which he hath not done by 
my life." So do I pray for the offspring of our 
glorified friend. I have strong hopes — I am al- 
most certain there will be fruit of this in his 
family, and that the Lord will console him by 
some happy change among them ; perhaps it lies 
as a grain of mustard-seed, and this may be the 
shower that will make it spring up. Lord 
grant it. 

What a sweet picture you have drawn, in a 

very few words, of E . Oh, madam, it is 

great mercy ; how often does lengthened-out af- 
fliction, by weakening the nerves, occasion pee- 
vishness, jealousy of affection, many gloomy 
ideas, and unfair representations of things, which, 
perhaps, cannot be called sin, but disease, and 
therefore not inconsistent with great grace. Oh 
that the Lord may yet raise her up, and make 
her a pillar and an ornament in his church, puri- 
fied and brightened by this furnace. It is now 
time for me to go to rest, but first, I will bow my 
knees to the Father of mercies, the God of all 
grace, over the subjects of this sheet, you, and 
yours, Dr. D , and his : good night, my pre- 
cious friend. 



TO MRS. . 205 



3 0th. I am truly sorry for the check Mr. 



zeal has met with. The Lord will yet provide 
a field to receive his labours ; in the mean time 
I suspect that he may stand reproved. " My 
kingdom is not of this world," said the King of 
saints, " else would my servants fight." Perhaps 
the soldiers of Jesus should keep to their own 
warfare, and not meddle, by either tongue or pen, 
more than by steel, with the kingdom of this 
world. 

Paine's Age of Reason condemned. — Good- 
news ! we have too much liberty ; men preach in 
our streets against the very Bible, and say God is no 
such being as he is there represented ; all priest- 
craft. " Shall I not visit for these things? saith 
the Lord." 

Ever, my dear Friend, 

Yours, affectionately, 

I. Graham. 



18 



LETTER XLI. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New-York, 1795. 

My dear Mrs. W 's very indulgent letters, 

by the Fanny, to which I replied, and again by 
the Providence, came safe to hand, and were next 
to my own God's good word, as cold water in a 
thirsty land ; there is no rest for anxious Britons 
in these parts. They had in the public papers a 
sixty thousand — yes, a sixty thousand, revolution- 
ary army in London ; but why take up time with 
these things ? I only tell you our alarms are end- 
less. The people in Ireland are emigrating by 
hundreds, in the same vessel, all crying out op- 
pression ! I hear there is a stop to be put to emi- 
gration. I rather wish you were rid of all the 
discontented, there would be enough left. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 207 

More overturnings ! We hear of a conspiracy 
in Sweden — a revolt in Poland — the French over- 
running Flanders. I am amazed ; who can judge 
what the Lord is about to do by what he has 
done ? His path is in thick darkness, fire and 
smoke go before him ; one thing we assuredly 
know, that he is preparing a way, and a high way, 
for his church, and hastening the more glorious 
manifestations of the Redeemer's kingdom ; the 
potsherds of the earth are dashing against one 
another. Oh how they dash ! Oh that the Lord's 
people may, at his kind invitation, enter into 
their chambers, and hide themselves for a little 
moment, till the indignation of the Lord be over- 
past. Mr. Newton utters my sentiments ; these 
seem the true apostolic sentiments, Christ's king- 
dom is not of this world, nor is the peoples por- 
tion of it ; the apostle's sole business with kings 
and rulers seemed to be, to lead quiet and peace- 
able lives under them ; and our master likewise, 
" Notwithstanding lest we should offend them, that 
take, and give unto them, for me and thee." I 
think the spirit of Christianity breathes strongly in 
Mr. Williamson's work too, though with different 
sentiments. 



208 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 

Thank you for all the pamphlet?, they are a 
great treat to the girls and me, for we cannot help 
taking public things much to heart. Our pastor 
has entirely given up politics ; no person can say, 
from either his preaching or praying, what his 
private sentiments are ; in private, as a man, he is 
entitled to an opinion, and it is unreasonable to be 

offended. Dr. P keeps very quiet : he has 

received many addresses from different societies, 
which he answers with much modesty. 

*»&* *U, Oi, JJ, Of. 

vT vr ^r VP 7T 



LETTER XLII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New-YorJc, 1796. 

I wrote my dear friend by the Edinburgh 
packet, though, perhaps, this may be the first to 
hand. 

I am now confined to my seat with a sprained 
ancle — cannot point my foot to the ground. I had 
set apart this day, (Saturday) to write to you, 
but friends calling, to visit the invalid, have occu- 
pied the time till the day is nearly spent. I have 
been dipping into the missionary magazines, and 
am greatly refreshed, indeed rejoiced. I trust the 
Lord is appearing inglorious majesty, and will soon 
put to silence the gain-say ers ; considering the 
convulsions in the political world, the licentious- 
ness of manners in those who reckon themselves 

18* 



210 MRS. GRAHAM 

the moral world, the blasphemies of the philoso- 
phic, and the abounding error in the Christian 
world, it is wonder all. 

" Our God shall come and shall no more 

Be silent, but speak out; 
Before him fire shall waste, great storms 

Shall compass him about." 

My heart is very full, I pray the Lord may 
succeed ; and oh, till the full harvest come, may 
he give some handfuls as an earnest in the mean 
time, to comfort and animate the hearts of those 
who, at his command, have forsaken all, and have 
gone after his lost sheep. Do you remember 
how I used to rave about our dear methodist so- 
ciety in Antigua ? and the three holy, harmless, 
zealous, Moravian brethren ? and how the preachers 
gave each other the right hand of fellowship, for- 
getting their differences in that land of open hos- 
tilities on the kingdom of their common Lord. 
Thither the Lord brought me from a land of en- 
tire barrenness, where, as far as I know, a gospel 
sermon was never preached. Here I was brought 
into great affliction, and to pass through the se- 
verest trial that I ever experienced before, or since. 
The Lord brought me into this fold, a poor 



TO MRS. W . 211 

straggling lamb, who had for five years herded 
among the goats, and little difference was there 
between them and me, except that my soul long- 
ed after green pastures, and rejoiced to hear the 
shepherd's voice, and, when I heard it, I knew 
it, though from one who did not belong to my 
original fold ; these good people nourished me 
with tenderness, bore with patience my carnality. 
When my dear husband was taken ill they wrestled 
for him in prayer ; Mr. Gilbert was every day 
with him ; the Lord heard and gave a joyful part- 
ing ; yes, joyful, never did I experience such joy ; 
then they sympathized with, and soothed the 
widowed heart, fed her with promises, and, in a 
measure established her ; thus they wrought with 
God in calling in one, and restoring another, 
never, never, shall I forget the labours of love of 
that dear little society. How many such strag- 
glers as I, may be wandering in both East and 
West Indies, and may be restored by these pre- 
cious missionaries. I owe them, of my labours, 
more than others. I send you a bill for fifty 
pounds. I have received eighteen copies of the 
Missionary Magazine, as far as No. 9. I have got 
subscribers for them all, who will continue ; pay 



212 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



these, and send me what more numbers have been 
published, by the return of the Edinburgh packet, 
also eighteen complete sets from the beginning. 
I hope to be successful in disposing of them also. 
I suppose the sermons go to the same fund ; send 
me a hundred sermons, I will see to get them dis- 
posed of; send them single, not bound, and of 
the best ; perhaps they may pave the way for 
more to follow, every little helps ; drops make up 
the ocean.* We cannot yet produce any thing ; 
we are gathering intelligence, and endeavouring 
to collect money ; but I grudge that what we can 
spare should be idle in the mean time ; the cause 
is one ; pay the magazines, at once, and the ser- 
mons, if you have enough of my money. I hope 
to remit again in September. I have a great w T ish 
to have a finger in your pie in some way ; if I 
must not subscribe past our own society, I may 
sell books for yours. 

Ever, my dear Friend, yours, 

I. Graham. 



* The importing and disposing of the Missionary Magazine led 
to the formation of the first missionary society in New- York. 



LETTER XLIII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 

1796—7. 

I thank my friend for her letter. I rejoice 

with you, and bless the widow's God. He has, 

indeed, been so to us, to the full amount of the 

promise. I have now much to sing of, little to 

complain of; my dear girls, and Mr. B , go 

forward steadily, having laid aside the weights of 
amusements and gaiety, and seem determined to 
follow the Lord fully through good and through 
evil report. Bless the Lord, oh, my soul, and 
forget not all his benefits. We have a full school, 
and a very comfortable set of girls. The Lord 
has delivered from all heavy burthens, even our 
servants are tolerable, a thing very rare in this 
place. Last week a considerable number of mi- 



214 MRS. GRAHAM 

nisters and lay christians met, for the third time, 
and established a society for sending missionaries 
among the Indians, and also among the poor 
scattered settlers on the frontiers. A sermon was 
preached in the evening, by a minister of Doctor 
Rodgers' society, in one of the Dutch churches, 
" The liberal deviseth liberal things, &c. ;" after 
which an address was read by the Secretary, (our 
dear Mr. Mason,) which, when printed, I will 
send you. I was a little vexed by the minister, 
who preached the sermon, speaking of the spirit 
that animated their brethren on the other side of 
the Atlantic, he said, in Europe, why not say 
Britain ? When it came to our minister's turn, he 
said, " It began in and round the metropolis, and 
vibrated to the utmost corner of the island. 
Amidst alarms of war, and important disputes in 
politics, the soldiers of Jesus were uniting, with 
one heart and soul, to invade the kingdom of Satan, 
and extend that of their dear Lord and Master. 
And what do we in the possession of every pos- 
sible temporal blessing? liberty, peace, abund- 
ance, the gospel, &c. &c. — Shame ! shame !" 
oh, he is a darling, though he does cram some 
strong meat down our throats with little tender- 



TO MRS. W . 215 

ness at times. The society is to keep up a cor- 
respondence with your and the other societies. 
If they can effect any thing themselves, apart 
here in America, well, if not, they will throw their 
subscriptions into the common funds, and get help 
from you ; this view is very pleasant to us ; there 
is great need of itinerant preachers in our back set- 
tlements ; they are scattered, and no churches of 
any kind ; even in some thick settled countries 
they will not pay a minister. These are the 
high ways and hedges, O that the Lord may com- 
pel them to come in. 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XLIV. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 

New-York, July, 1797. 

MY EVER DEAR FRIEND, 

I have three letters before me of precious 
contents, and they are still more precious because 
of the love I bear to the writer. While I read my 
heart teems with matter ; but, oh ! this bondage 
to trifles, which swallows up all my time; well 
may you say, I do not understand (I know not 
if you do) the subject of sovereign grace, or rather 
you say we do not understand each other ; alas ! 
I have never understood any one on the subject; 
I am a mere infant, and know nothing, and the 
more I seek to know the more ignorant I become. 
It hath so pleased the Lord to deal with me ; the 
sin of ignorance must be mine; I know it must, 
and will, in the end be found to be so, but that 



TO MRS. W . 217 

with ten thousand more I roll on my surety ; his 
atoning blood; his justifying righteousness; his 
finished work is the milk upon which I am fed, 
nourished, satisfied, and by which I grow, in a 
measure ; and He is teaching me other things too 
in connection, for he is teaching me my ignorance, 
and more and more of my own emptiness ; and I 
am satisfied with this too, because my all is in 
Him ; I am complete in Him. The wisest of 
men know nothing to purpose, till taught by Him 
who taught Simon Barjonah. Oh ! how David 
pants for this teaching, " remove far from me the 
way of lies, and teach me thy law graciously." 
Have not you and I seen some who have tasted 
of the word of life, and the powers of the world 
to come — who have been taught in part, and sav- 
ingly — after running well for a time, insnared in 
the way of lies ? which, though it might not 
marr their final salvation, has marred their pro- 
gress in knowledge, holiness, and comfort. " Lord, 
remove far from us the way of lies," lead us to 
the pure unmixed unerring word of truth, and in 
as far as we are ignorant, keep us sensible of our 
ignorance ; and humble under it, ready to sit at 
the feet of Jesus, or even at the feet of his sent 

19 



218 MRS. GRAHAM 

servants, who bear his image, and prove their doc- 
trines by the unerring word. Oh, the difference 
between him who reads under the influence of the 
light which God has prepared to dispel the Egyp- 
tian darkness which has overspread the whole 
human soul, and him who reads with no other 
assistance than his own poor blinded reason ! 
The word of God is ever the same, but oh, the 
the difference of the readers ! I had thought 
this corner of the Lord's vineyard was be- 
gining to bud a little, and to promise some 
genuine though scrubby fruit ; the truth was 
among us, but not very well digested nor con- 
nected ; there were many babes, but few old men. 
Satan seemed quiet and contented with the general 
ignorance ; but our young champion,* whom 
the Lord girded, for sure he is the Lord's, and 
he has girded him, no sooner did he declare fully, 
freely, connectedly, unreservedly, God"s salva- 
tion in its origin, progress, and finishing ; staining 
the pride of man, laying his glory in the dust, 
leaving him not one rag that he could call his 
own, except sin, corruption, weakness, helpless- 

* Rev. John M. Mason. 



TO MRS. W . 219 

ness, than the dragon roused. Our minister 
leaves the controversy to the fathers, though I do 
think he could manage it better; but he uses the 
word of truth as the only weapon against error. 
" A sling and a stone," the mail and armour of 
direct refutation he has not proved as yet ; in 
some future time he may, perhaps, try them in 
the same strength and name of his Lord. Last 
week he was married to a very amiable pious 
young lady, to the universal satisfaction of all who 
know both parties. " A good wife cometh from 
the Lord." He led her into the pew on Sunday, 
then went up and preached, forenoon and afternoon, 
and to all appearance, under the same influence 
of spiritual things, as if he had no portion in this 
world, nor cared for its pleasant things. I feel 
for you, and with you, however we may comfort 
ourselves in the Lord, so as not to be cast down 
nor overcome ; yet " no affliction, for the present, 
is joyous, but grievous," the Lord knows it. I had 
a letter from my brother, informing me that John 
was very ill, and had been subject to fits, and it 
was thought dangerous to let him go to sea again, 
and I might expect him in the first vessel. My 
heart leaped for joy, and I said, " now will the 



220 MRS. GRAHAM 

Lord do his own work, take the rod in his own 
hand, and make it effectual." Two vessels have 
arrived, and no son. I hear he has quite re- 
covered, but I can learn no effects. You say, 
perhaps, you may, on some future occasion, try 
a voyage; will you come to us f I have room for 
you in my heart, and in my house. There is an 
American vessel to trade constantly between this 
and Leith, if the physicians approve, I think you 
ought to try it. Joseph received not his father 
and brethren with more joy in Egypt, than I will 

my Mrs. W , and whoever she chooses to 

bring with her. 

We get teazing, distressing, news here every 
day, and many dissaffected persons are con- 
stantly coming over who speak evil of the 
country, people, and constitution, and prophesy 
a downfall ; but I trust the number of those who 
sigh and cry are not yet so few, and that the land 
will be spared and blessed, and a church nourish- 
ed and built up in it ; and that it shall be written 
of thousands, " this man was born there." Say 
what the wise think of it, not the politician ; but 
what say they, with whom is excellent wisdom in 
understanding the prophecies, and the signs of the 



TO MRS. W . 221 

times, for sure such a century has scarce ever been 
in the history of the world, since the days that 
our Lord tabernacled among men. What of the 
revivals in Wales ? Will you send me any thing 
that is printed, and thought worth noticing, on the 
times. 

I have, as usual, written all night, and so fast, 
and with such a pen, I wish you may make it out. 
My friend, my dear friend, by-and-by there will 
be no Atlantic between us; we shall not need 
pen and ink ; no, nor words to pour out our 
hearts, but soul shall meet soul, in full, and heart- 
satisfying, communion. Give my love to E . 

I hope the Lord will yet raise her up. Accept 
of my thanks for all you have done. 

I. Graham. 



19* 



LETTER XLV. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New- York, 1798. 
I am a very great slave to business, still I have 
great reason for thankfulness; my health is in 
general very good, my comforts many, my trials 
few and kindly, my prospects bright and certain. 
The second Wednesday in February, we com- 
menced our first monthly meeting for prayer for the 
Lord's blessing on ours, and on all the missionary 
societies ; it was far from full ; but we must be 
thankful for the day of small things, and pray, and 
wait, and hope. The Dutch churches, Doctor 
Rodgers and colleagues, the Baptist, and our mi- 
nisters, have united so far as to officiate in each 
other's churches ; they have collected about seven- 
teen hundred dollars, and are locking out for two 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 223 

missionaries to send among the Indians, or lo the 

frontiers. I observe by the papers that Mr. A 

sends me, that you get every thing of importance 
through that medium, so you will soon hear of us, 
and of the Philadelphia plan, of which you will not 
approve ; every man may be a member by paying 
a dollar, and every missionary is to have a trade, 
or be bred to agriculture. The wisdom of this 
world ! 

I have not yet got a peep into this wonderful 
discovery of " the illuminati"* having some religi- 
gious pamphlets on hand which I wish to read 
first. I gave it to Mr. Mason : he spread its 
fame ; the professors were reading it when they 
should sleep, till I told them they might take 
day-light to it. I would not die with curiosity, 
though I did not get it for three weeks, instead of 
three days. As soon as I can spare it they are 
going to print it : there is one other copy, and 
but one in town. 

I mentioned in my last that we had planned 
a society for the relief of poor widows with small 
children, the success has been beyond our most 

* Proofs of a Conspiracy, by Professor Robison. 



224 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 

sanguine expectations. We have now a hundred 
and ninety subscribers, at three dollars a year, 
and nearly a thousand dollars in donations. 
We have spent three hundred dollars this winter, 
and nearly all upon worthy objects. The poor 
increase fast : emigrants from all quarters flock to 
us, and when they come they must not be allowed 
to die for want. There are eight hundred in the 
alms-house, and our society have helped along 
many, with their own industry, that must other- 
wise have been there. The French, poor things, 
are also starving among us; it would need a stout 
heart to lay up in these times. 

I am very uneasy about our dear country. O 
that the Lord may now work, for his name's sake, 
and be a wall of fire around it ! I no longer look at 
probabilities, there is no calculating in these times, 
and glory to God we who trust in an Almighty 
arm, are not called to it. His purpose shall stand ; 
and as he hath poured out a spirit of prayer and 
supplication upon you, I think he will incline his 
ear to hear. Love to all your dear fireside. 
I am, as ever, 

Your affectionate Friend, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XL VI. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W 



New- York, July 4, 1797. 

Waked this morning by the ringing of bells, 
beating of drums, firing of cannon, to usher in the 
anniversary of the glorious independence of Ame- 
rica ! The day in which she dared to be free, 
dared to say we will no longer be the tame, ab- 
ject slave, of British tyranny. Liherty or death 
will be our motto. Hail, auspicious day ! " All 
hail, thrice sweet and gracious goddess ! with thee 
to smile upon him, as he eats his crust, the swain 
is happier than the monarch, from whose court 
thou art exiled." Let every heart rejoice, and 
every tongue proclaim, " America is free." So 
much of an American rhapsody. 

Now the sober Scotchwoman hails her Chris- 
tian friend under the banner of Zion's King. 



226 MRS - GRAHAM 

Shall they, shall any boast louder than we ? Can 
any exult in such glorious liberty ? It is our own 
precious exclusive privilege; before the cock 
crow once, thousands of these boasters will prove 
themselves the slaves of vice, and abjectly glory 
in their shame, while we, a true band of patriots, 
under the banner, in the armour and strength of 
our glorious Captain of salvation, dare to say, 
" sin shall not have dominion over us," neither 
shall we fear the face of man ; all things in Hea- 
ven and earth are ours. We are the people who 
enjoy a government perfect in every department, 
and in every respect to our heart's desire. All 
governments must bow before it, and be turned, 
and overturned, to advance its interests ; and 
when no longer needed for this purpose, shall 
cease to be, and their names become extinct, 
while ours shall flourish to endless ages, increas- 
ing in the number of its subjects, and extent of 
its dominion. All this I know and believe, but 
practise not; nor live as the subject of such a go- 
vernment, and possessing such privileges. 

The Amsterdam packet has arrived, not one letter 
from any quarter of our dear native land. The 
Emperor had made a separate peace. The fleet 



TO MRS. W . 227 

at Spithead mutinied again and again. By the 
last accounts they were not quieted. From France 
we hear of great numbers of vessels, (transports) 
sixty, in Amsterdam, ready for sea, on some 
secret expediiion, supposed against Britain or 
Ireland ; letters from thence say, that through 
all the north, nineteen out of twenty are deter- 
mined on a revolution; that numbers are daily 
committed on suspicion. The British banks 
stopped discounting ; petitions from all quarters 
for a dismission of the ministry ; an insurrection 
in Canada, headed by a British colonel ; in short, 
things look so thick, and so black, and this scourge 
of the nations has been permitted to go such 
lengths, we tremble at what the Lord may be 
about to do. 

Oh, Lord, suffer not this once flourishing favour- 
ed vine to be trodden down by thine enemies ; true 
it has degenerated into a strange vine ; but, oh ! 
dig about it, and dress it, revive it, as in times of 
old, and spare it, for thy name's sake ; thy seed 
is yet in it. Scotland is a covenanted nation, liter- 
ally called by thy name, is it not beloved for the 
father's sake ? the sons have proved rebellious 
and false in thy covenant ; but, oh ! thy ways are 



228 MRS. GRAHAM 

not as our ways, nor thy thoughts as our thoughts ; 
though we be a convenant breaking people, thou 
art a covenant keeping God. Oh! are there not 
many prayers lodged at thy throne against this 
evil day by those now around it? do not the 
prayers of many yet in these lands unite with 
them, pleading that thou mayest arise, and have 
mercy on thy Zion yet ; for in her rubbish and 
her stones thy servants take pleasure, yea, her 
very dust is precious for her sake — oh ! that thou 
mayest build again the waste places, and not make 
a full end. Let the loftiness of man be bowed 
down, and the haughtiness of men be made low, 
and the Lord alone exalted in this trying day. 
The Lord has stripped you of all your allies, you 
are now not in reality more, but more evidently at 
the Lord's mercy — Oh ! that ye may be the com- 
pany of tappers.* I am no judge of probabilities, 
but I have often had hope in this. I never liked 
the coalition with kings, who gave their strength 
to the beast. Whatever apparent political justice 
there might be on their side, it seemed evident 
that the Lord was dethroning the beast ; the 

* See Judges vii. 6 — 7. 



TO MRS. W . 2^9 

work shall go on till accomplished ; and it seems, 
at best, dangerous to intermeddle between Him 
and the accomplishment of his purposes, espe- 
cially as they are so evidently prophesied. What 
had Jehoshaphat to do to join himself to Ahaziah, 
king of Israel, after the Lord had done such great 
things for him ?— Chronicles xviii. 

I. Graham. 



20 



LETTER XL VII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. C . 

Greenwich, 1797. 

MY DARLING CHILD, 

When I finished my last epistle, my heart was 
like the bottles, mentioned by our Lord, when 
filled with new wine — ready to burst; matter 
seemed to flow. I could have wished my last 
page all included in the first, and two more be- 
fore me : it would sometimes be a great gratifica- 
tion to have another page to fill, it is not always 
so with me ; but it is ever good for my soul when 
I can be copious in my addresses to my dear 
child. When I sit and think of your afflicted state, 
and especially the weakness of your eyes, oh ! I 
could, in the first emotions on the subject, pull 
out my own eyes and give them to you ; but soon 
comes the merited reproof. Did mother die for 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. C «-. 231 

you? Was mother crucified for you? Oh no, 
mother's love is hatred compared to that "height, 
and depth, and breadth, and length, of the love of 
Christ which passeth knowledge." He hath, my 
child, loved you, and given himself for you, all 
things shall work together for your good ; what 
he doeth ye know not now, but ye shall know here- 
after. " Beloved, think it not strange, concerning 
the fiery trial, which is to try you, as though 
some strange thing happened to you ; but re- 
joice, in as much as ye are partakers of Christ's 
sufferings, that when his glory shall be revealed, ye 
may be glad also with exceeding joy." 1st Peter 
iv. 12. " Humble yourselves therefore under 
the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in 
due time, casting all your care upon him, for he 
careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant, because 
your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh 
about seeking whom he may devour, whom resist, 
steadfast in the faith, (in the faith that you shall 
overcome) knowing that the same afflictions are 
accomplished in your brethren that are in the 
world; but the God of all grace, who hath called 
us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that 
you have suffered awhile, make you perfect, estab- 



232 MRS. GRAHAM 

lish, strengthen, settle you." Chapter v. 6. Make 
one of the girls read to you the first chapter of 
2d Peter, where you will find that the whole is 
hung upon faith. " To them that have obtained 
like precious faith with us, through the righteous- 
ness of God and our Saviour Jesus Christ: grace 
and peace be multiphed to you through the know- 
ledge of God, and of Jesus Christ our Lord." 
Paul never, for a moment, loses sight of the righte- 
ousness of Christ, and he keeps it distinct ; nothing 
of ours is to be added or mixed, the Christian is 
complete in this righteousness wrought out in the 
person of Christ ; it is a finished and a perfect work: 
the sanctification of the heart and life is a distinct 
part of salvation, in which we are to be workers 
together with God. We have received life — a little 
strength — we desire the sincere milk of the word, 
that we may grow thereby ; the seed is sown, but 
weeds also remain, and the tares grow up with the 
wheat. Grace is laid up in Christ ; there are given to 
us exceeding great and precious promises, through 
the knowledge of him who has called us to glory 
and virtue. We are to plead these promises, be- 
lieve also that they are our appointed privilege ; 
but it is the order of the covenant that we ask* 



TO MRS. C -. 233 

seek, Tcnoch By these promises, (at the head of 
which stands Christ himself, his own and the Fa- 
ther's gift, and eternal life in him and with him,) 
we are made partakers of the divine life, Christ 
himself, unshackled with conditions of any kind. 
He is the water of life to which the " Ho ! every 
one" is proclaimed, offered without money and 
without price ; whosoever will, let him come and 
take the water of life freely. But Christians in 
Christ, and heirs together with him, are called to 
work in the business of sanctification, they are to 
give all diligence ; the leaven is hid ; the seed is 
sown ; the life created ; and there are wells of 
salvation from which they are appointed to draw, 
and go on from strength to strength. There is 
food provided, drink provided, which they are to 
use that they may grow thereby. Christ is the 
substance of all, but the means are also God's ap- 
pointment, which the Christian is to attend on 
with care and attention, depending on the blessing 
of God to make them effectual to the mortification 
of sin and the growth of holiness. He is to give 
all diligence, searching the Scriptures, praying 
without ceasing, meditating on the word, watch- 
ing against rising corruption, and Satan's tempta- 

20* 



234 MRS. GRAHAM 

tions, using every exertion to add to his faith 
virtue, and to virtue knowledge, &c. See that long 
string of virtues, the 2d Epistle of Peter i. and v. 
By close intercourse with God we are fur- 
nished for the practice of duty, and armed 
against temptation ; by steady perseverance in 
duty, we have the witness in ourselves that we are 
born of God, and preserved by his almighty power. 
The clearer our views, the stronger our faith, the 
brighter our virtues ; the more steady our virtues, 
the clearer our views, the stronger our evidences ; 
this is the diligence to make our calling and elec- 
tion sure, not to merit it, but to evidence it ; thus 
an abundant entrance is ministered into the king- 
dom. But the indolent christian, though he may 
be saved as by fire, is blind, and cannot see afar 
off, and has forgotten that he was purged from his 
old sins, is in fear, in terror ; saved, as by fire ; 
hanging by the rock he cannot perish ; but, unless 
God goes out of his ordinary way, he lives un- 
comfortably, and dies in a hanging hope. This 
then I think God's order : eternal life is a free 
gift, unshackled with conditions, these were all 
fulfilled by our substitute ; but it hath pleased 
God (I think) to make our advancement in the 



TO MRS. C . 235 

divine life, our steadfastness, our comfort, in some 
measure, conditional. Promises are made to di- 
ligence, and though we in reality cannot, of our- 
selves, think a good thought, we can, by our natural 
powers, lift our Bibles, open them, place our eyes 
upon them, we can present our bodies on our knees, 
and as the Lord gives, proceed. The man with 
the withered hand had no power in it. Christ 
said, " stretch out thy hand," the man did so, 
and found the power with the command. 

I. Graham. 



LETTER XL VIII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO A YOUNG MAN ON HIS JOINING THE 
CHURCH. 

September, 1798. 

MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND, 

You have now ratified in a public manner 
that transaction, which, no doubt, passed pre- 
viously in private between you and your God. 
You have declared your belief of the gospel, and 
have taken hold of God's covenant of promise. 
You have fallen in with his own plan, which he 
has appointed for the salvation of guilty sinners ; 
and rested your soul upon his word of promise 
that you shall be saved. You have, at the same 
time, dedicated and devoted your soul, your 
body, your time, your talents, your substance, 
your influence, all that you are, and have, to 



MRS. GRAHAM TO A YOUNG MAN, etc. 237 

be disposed of, at his pleasure, and for his glory, 
in the world. You are no longer your own. 
You are bought with a price, adopted into the fa- 
mily of God, numbered with, and entitled to all 
the privileges of his children. Your motives of 
action, your views, your interests, are all different 
from those of the worldling. Whether you eat or 
drink, or whatever you do, your aim must be, and 
will be, to do all to his glory. This must go with 
you, and be your ruling principle in all the walks 
of life. By your integrity, uprightness, diligence, 
and disinterested attention to the interest of your 
employers, you will glorify God, and have his 
presence with you in business. By a due and 
marked observance of the Sabbath, and attendance 
on the ordinances, you will glorify him. By re- 
gularity, order, and temperance, crowned with 
an open acknowledgment of God, before all who 
may surround your board, you will glorify him 
in an especial manner in those days of degene- 
racy, and, crowned with family worship, you will 
glorify him, and his presence will be with you, 
and great will be your comfort. God's interest 
in the world must also be yours. The good of 
His church in general, and that of your own fa- 



238 MRS. GRAHAM 

mily in particular ; and, oh, my son, if you would 
be rich in comfort, follow the Lord fully, and fol- 
low him openly, and if you would do it, so as to 
suffer the least, from the sneer of the world, do it 
at once. 

Already you have received congratulations on 
your joining the church, by those belonging to 
it ; soon will it be known to those who will scoff 
at it. But christians and worldlings will look for 
consistency ; and, if it be wanting, the last will be 
the first to mark it. A decided character will soon 
deliver you from all solicitations to what may be 
even unseemly, and dignified consistent conduct 
will command respect. Not but the Lord may 
let loose upon you the persecuting sneer and 
banter of the wise of this world, whose esteem you 
wish to preserve ; but, if he do, the trial will be 
particular, and he will support you under it, and 
bring his glory and your good out of it. 

And now, my son, suffer the word of exhorta- 
tion. You have entered the school of Christ, 
and have much to learn, far beyond what men, or 
books, can of themselves teach, and you have 
much to receive on divine credit, beyond what 
human reason can comprehend. 



TO A YOUNG MAN, etc. 239 

I would recommend to you to read carefully, 
and pause as you read, and pray as you read, for 
the teaching of the spirit — the Epistle of Paul 
to the Ephesians, read it first without any com- 
mentary, and read it as addressed to you, S 

A . You will there find what may in part stag- 
ger your reason ; you will find what far surpasses 
your comprehension, but yet read on, with con- 
scious weakness, and ignorance, and absolute 
dependance on divine teaching. When you have 
read it through, then take Brown's or Henry's ex- 
position of it. 

A degree of mystery, my son, runs through 
the whole of God's revealed word ; but it is 
His, and to be received with reverence, and be- 
lieved with confidence, because it is His. It 
is to be searched with diligence, and compared ; 
and, by God's teaching, and the assistance of his 
sent servants, the child of God becomes mighty 
in the Scriptures. Let not mystery stagger you : 
we are surrounded with mysteries : we, ourselves, 
are mysteries inexplicable : nor let the doctrine 
of election stagger you : how small a part of God's 
ways do we know, or can comprehend — rejoice 
that he has given you the heritage of his people — 



240 MRS. GRAHAM 

leave the rest to him, " Shall Dot the Judge of all 
the earth do right." 

Jesus took once a little child and set him in the 
midst of the people, and said, " except ye be con- 
verted, and become as little children, ye cannot 
enter the kingdom of heaven," intimating, with 
what simplicity and docility men ought to receive 
the gospel ; and the following text also alludes to 
this : " suffer little children to come unto me, 
and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of 
Heaven." There are many promises made to 
the diligent searchers after truth, " then shall we 
know if we follow on to know the Lord." " The 
secret of the Lord is with them that fear him ; 
and he will show them his covenant." Yet the 
highly enlightened Paul calls the gospel a mys- 
tery, and godliness a mystery ; for now we see 
through a glass darkly ; but then face to face : now 
I know in part ; but then (in Heaven) shall I 
know even as also I am known." Therefore, 
while you use all diligence, accompanied with 
prayer, and the expositions of God's faith- 
ful ministers, to understand every part of divine 
revelation, be neither surprised nor disheartened at 
the want of comprehension, far less attempt to re- 



TO A YOUNG MAN, etc. 241 

duce it to human reason, as many have done to 
their ruin. The Scripture says, " vain man 
would be wise, though born like the wild ass's 
colt." " The wisdom of this world is foolish- 
ness with God." 

I. Graham. 



21 



LETTER XLIX. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



New-York, June 12, 1799. 

MY EVER DEAR FRIEND, 

This goes by a fine young countryman of 
ours, who has been married only some months, 
and is ordered to his native land as his only 
chance for life ; you may get it sooner or later, but 
I feel a strange inclination to scribble by every 
opportunity. 

I have now read through the missionary maga- 
zines, and have been animated and confirmed by 
their contents. Our Lord is one, his name, his 
word, his providence, all harmonize, though we 
cannot always see it. Our Lord is doing strange 
things in the earth, at which our ears are often 
made to tingle ; but they shall terminate in the 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W . 243 

accomplishment of his promises ; for his counsel 
shall stand, and the purposes of his heart for ever. 
We find one set of men joining heart in hand to 
publish the gospel of peace, and spread the glad 
tidings of salvation ; another spreading war and 
devastation with still greater zeal and energy : 
however different these, in their own views and 
designs, they shall all contribute their part, to- 
ward ushering in the glory of the latter day. The 
potsherds of the earth dash against one another, 
but the kingdom of the King of peace shall be 
erected on their ruins. Amen. 

We are, however, not a little alarmed by some 
private letters which have been received here, 
" that, in consequence of Buonaparte's great vic- 
tory, the Archduke has been obliged to come to 
terms of peace, for the empire and himself." If so, 
we foresee that an immense swarm of plunderers 
will be directed to England and Ireland, the last 
of which, we hear, is ready for a revolution. I 
have often hoped that the Lord, after stripping 
you of all your allies, would himself appear as the 
Lord of hosts, and account the battle his own ; 
but these hopes fare again dashed by the ac- 
counts we have of the madness of the people. 



244 MRS. GRAHAM 

We hear that dissipation, and even immorality, 
have arrived at a pitch beyond what ever has been 
known, both in London and Edinburgh, and that 
religion is now more than ever a term of contempt. 
Oh ! what is the Lord God Almighty about to do ? 
what, if he be about to sow the heathen lands, by 
scattering a seed from Britain. Dear, in God's 
sight, is the blood of his saints ; oh ! that he may 
fortify and arm for the trial awaiting, whatever it 
may be ! 

I both joy and grieve at the account you give 

me of Mr. H and Mr. B . I have often 

wondered how revolutionary sentiments can be 
reconciled with the Apostle's injunctions to the 
children of our Redeemer's kingdom, respecting 
the powers that be. One of our ministers goes 
far to vindicate the French nation to this day. 
He says they have entirely changed their cha- 
racter, from a frivolous, dissipated, to that of a 
great and magnanimous people ; and that, through 
all their changes, they have never lost sight of the 
end at first proposed — liberty and equality — jus- 
tifying the killing of the king, and pulling down all 
successive governors, as soon as they begin to en- 
-eroach on their rights as men. On public days 



TO MRS. W . 245 

he has uttered strange things from the pulpit, yet 
he is a zealous, orthodox, connected, uniform, 
preacher of the doctrines of the gospel ; the foun- 
dation he lays sure, how he comes to build 
such stuff upon it seems to me marvellous ; but 
why ought it to be so in my eyes ? It is now 
forty years since I ventured my soul on the same 
sure foundation ; the nearer I come to giving up 
my account, the more of the superstructure I see 
fit only for the flames; glory to free unmerited 
grace, the foundation is immoveable. By this 
time you wiil have learned that the French have 
refused the American ministers as well as yours. 
The president called an extraordinary meeting of 
congress, and two more ambassadors extraordi- 
nary are appointed, with credentials to co-operate 
with Mr. Pinckney, (the minister who was to suc- 
ceed Mr. Monroe.) There have been strong, or 
rather long, debates on the subject. I sent you 
the executive's letter to General Pinckney, and a 
pamphlet of remarks, which, to our view, laid 
open the spirit of both nations. America seems 
disposed to bear much rather than resent : we are 
going to provide convoys for protection of trade 
merely, not for reprisal. This leaves us all on 

21* 



246 MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



foot. My hands and head full of business— in 
health at present — I had a touch of the pleurisy, 
was bled, blistered, &c. The Lord's will was, 
that I should return to the wilderness for a time, 
and accordingly here I am. No accounts of my 
boy. Eternity will disclose many things, and an- 
swer many whys. 

Yours, with affection, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER L. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. C- 



New- York, 1800. 

MY EVER DEAR FRIEND AND SISTER IN CHRIST, 

O that I could lay open to you your real 
slate, and hesitate not to affirm, that you are 
among the number addressed in the 2nd chapter 
of the Ephesians, and ought to rejoice always, 
according to the first verse of the third chapter of 
the Philippians ! Read the Epistle to the Ephe- 
sians, from beginning to end, read it as addressed 
to thee, S C , by name, for to thee it as- 
suredly belongs, even to thee, whose eyes the 
Lord has opened to see the emptiness of all cre- 
ated things, otherwise than connected with eter- 
nity ; to see the emptiness of earthly enjoyments 
uninterested in a heavenly inheritance, yea more, 
to see your lost state, your corrupt nature, your 



248 MRS. GRAHAM 

deceitful heart, the necessity of a change, and 
your inability, by any effort, purpose, or resolu- 
tion of your own, to effect it. 

My friend, this is the very character prepared 
by the Holy Ghost for the reception of a Saviour. 
" You hath he quickened who were dead in tres- 
passes and sins." Observe, not groaning and 
wrestling under trespasses and sins, but dead, in- 
sensible, at ease in Zion. " They that are whole 
need not a physician, but they that are sick." 
Such was your state once, you were at ease, were 
satisfied with an external round of duties, while 
there was no real spiritual communion between 
you and the Father of your spirit, nor any real 
acquaintance with your own heart, northe demands 
of God's law respecting it ; for they that worship, 
must worship in spirit and in truth, and the love 
required is with the whole heart, the whole soul, 
the whole strength, and the whole mind, and our 
neighbour as ourselves. " You were alive with- 
out the law once, but when the commandment 
came" (the knowledge of its extensive spiritual 
demands) " sin revived," (came into view) " and 
you died." Thus it was with you, and flesh and 
blood hath not taught you this, but the Lord, the 



TO MRS. C . 249 

spirit who convinceth of sin. You are the weary 
and heavy laden ; you are the hungry and thirsty ; 
you are the poor and needy ; you are the outcast, 
to the loathing of yourself; you are the lost, the 
prodigal, the wanderer, the prisoner. The very 
person whom Christ came to give rest, to feed, to 
save, to set free. It is with sinners Christ has to 
do — condemned rebels. I call you not to hope 
because you are very good, but because you 
know that you are very bad, because your case is 
desperate. Come then, arise, the Master calleth 
thee. It was his very errand to seek and to save 
such as you. Resign yourself into his hands, as 
a poor, miserable, blind, naked, destitute/helpless, 
sinner, and give him credit for his promise, that 
they that trust in him shall never be ashamed — 
that none perish that trust him — leave yourself in 
his hand — pore not thus over your own wretched* 
ness — dig not continually into the filth of your 
own heart — mourn not over your unfaithful- 
ness, your backsliding, your ingratitude. The 
Lord knows it all ; take a repeated hold of his 
gospel offers ; make repeated application to the 
blood of atonement ; again and again, even to 
your dying hour, trust his mercy, and try to re- 



250 MRS. GRAHAM 

joice in his salvation, try to taste the consolations 
of his covenant. O, my dear friend, were not this 
covenant a covenant of pure grace, free promise 
on God's part, we might well sit down in despair; 
were there one single condition left to be performed 
on our part, we were hopeless ; but Christ is the 
end of the law for righteousness. When he bowed 
his blessed head, he said, " It is finished'" be- 
lievers are now complete in him — " Who of God 
is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and 
sanctification, and redemption." Look then out 
of yourself, to a salvation accomplished without 
you, to which the Lord gives you a full title, a 
just claim, not because you are virtuous, but be- 
cause Christ purchased it, and that for the chief of 
sinners ; say then with Thomas, " my Lord and 
my God !" you do : I read in yours not only " my 
merciful Creator," but " my Redeemer," " my 
blessed Saviour who redeemed me from destruc- 
tion," " my good Shepherd." This is well, the 
Lord approves, he is teaching you — you begin to 
lisp the language of Canaan ; then come, my 
friend, " come boldly unto the throne of grace, 
that you may obtain mercy and find grace to 
help in time of need." Come as a redeemed 



TO MRS. C . 251 

soul, as a reconciled child to a reconciled father, 
Satan lies when he tells you, that because you 
backslide, have a deceitful heart, and are ungrate- 
ful, you have no title to come to a throne of grace : 
tell him, the Holy Ghost sayeth, " If any man 
sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus 
Christ, the righteous," and teaches you in num- 
berless parts of Scripture to ask forgiveness. 
Sing in faith the ciii. Psalm, the song of an adul- 
terer and a murderer, pardoned and saved by free 
grace. I have reached my last page without 
being near the end of what I wished to say. 

I cannot at present say any thing of my visit, 
not being able to discern duty. My girls are 
mothers but sickly ; but that is not my principal 
hindrance. I have a large charge given me, even 
the poor widows and orphans in this city, whether 
I can leave them or not, I cannot yet determine.* 
But I am, ever, 

Yours, affectionately, 

I. Graham. 



* Mrs. Graham was First Directress to the Society for the re- 
lief of poor widows with small children. 



LETTER LI. 



SUBSTANCE OF A LETTER TO MISS P . 

New -York, December, 1S00. 
I was favoured with your agreeable letter just 
as I was finishing my last to you. I have often, 
in the course of my wanderings through different 
lands and countries, among christians of different 
names and denominations, had my spirit re- 
freshed and my faith established, by finding the 
language of the Holy Ghost one and the same in 
the hearts and lives of Christ's people, and 
all speaking the same things of themselves, their 
depravity, their inability to deliver themselves, 
their certain death unless delivered — of Christ 
the Saviour, the gift and sent of the Father. His 
own gift and undertaking — His finished work — 
His free salvation — His well ordered covenant — 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MISS P . 253 

His New Testament sealed with his blood, shed 
for the remission of sins — of the Holy Ghost, the 
sent of the Father and the Son, the power of 
God in the hearts of men, convincing them of 
their sin and misery, enlightening their minds in 
the knowledge of God, renewing their wills, 
enabling them to embrace Christ as an Almighty 
Saviour; taking of the things that are Christ's, and 
showing them to his people, consoling them in 
affliction, supporting them under trial, strength- 
ening them in weakness and temptation, and 
teaching and guiding them in the path of duty. 

Yes, my dear Miss P , your sweet chris- 
tian letter speaks the same language with your 
brothers and sisters in Christ, brought within 
the bond of his covenant, and taught by the 
same teacher, in all lands, in all climates, and 
under all governments ; for we are all one in 
him; one body, one spirit, even as we are called 
in one hope of our calling ; one Lord, one faith, 
one baptism, whether in infancy or in riper years. 
The spirit, the water, and the blood, are the same ; 
one God, and Father of all, who is above all, and 
through all, and in all ; what a mystical union is 
here ; how ought christians to love, commune 

22 



254 MRS. GRAHAM 

with, exhort, and comfort one another, with the 
same words wherewith each is comforted. In 
this view let us bless God for the art of writing ; 
we, who possess it, have an additional talent to 
account for, let us occupy it to his glory. 

I rejoice, my dear young friend, and bless God 
with you, for all he has done for your soul, for 
humbling, self-abasing, emptying grace. I pray for 
an humble and contrite spirit, in all who are dear to 
me. They who walk humbly, walk safely. I rejoice 
with you also in the confidence you have in the 
pardoning mercy, and supporting grace of your 
Saviour ; for when you are weak, then are you 
strong. Yes, my young friend, you say truly, 
that, of yourself you can do nothing, flesh and 
blood hath not taught you this, but the Father of 
your spirit, that he might make you to prove that 
you can do all things through Christ strengthen- 
ing you. Christ is not only the end of the 
law for righteousness, but he works in us, to will 
and to do of his good pleasure, " who of God 
is made unto us wisdom and righteousness, and 
sanctification, and redemption." He is the way, 
the truth, and the life ; and the more we dwell 
upon these comforting truths, solace our souls 



TO MISS P . 255 

with them, delight ourselves in God, triumph in 
our portion, assure our hearts before God that he 
will perfect what concerns us, that nothing shall 
separate us from his love, that our life is hid with 
Christ in God, and because he lives we shall live 
also — the more we thus exult in our great Savi- 
our, Prophet, Priest, and King, the more we are 
fitted to run in the way of his commandments. 
This is eating his flesh and drinking his blood, 
by which we have life and virtue from our blessed 
Head. See the beautiful exhortation in the 1st 
ehapter of Peter's second epistle to all who have 
obtained like precious faith through the righteous- 
ness of God and our Saviour Jesus Christ. It is 
through the knowledge of God, and Jesus Christ, 
that grace and peace are multiplied unto us, " ac- 
cording as his divine power hath given unto us 
all things that pertain unto life and godliness, 
through the knowledge of Him who hath called us 
to glory and virtue : whereby are given unto us 
exceeding great and precious promises ; that by 
these we might be partakers of the divine nature, 
having escaped the corruption that is in the world 
through lust." 

It is by embracing these promises, by feasting on 



256 MRS. GRAHAM 

Christ, in whom they are all yea and amen, that we 
are animated and enabled to "add to our faith 
virtue ; and to virtue knowledge ; and to know- 
ledge temperance ; and to temperance patience ; 
and to patience godliness ; and to godliness broth- 
erly kindness ; and to brotherly kindness charity." 
That these things being in us, and abounding, 
we may be neither barren nor unfruitful in the 
knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Christ. 
These are the blessed fruits ; and we are called, 
in the faith of these promises, to give all dili- 
gence to make our calling and election sure, 
that so, in the full triumph of faith, evidenced by 
these fruits, our entrance into the kingdom of our 
Lord Jesus Christ may be abundant. By what 
follows it seems to me, that though a redeemed 
soul cannot be lost, the christian may lose much 
comfort both in life and in death, The means, as 
well as the end, are of God's appointing; the last 
is his own work, which he will bring to pass ac- 
cording to the purpose and counsel of his own 
will : how far he hath given to his creatures na- 
tural or renewed powers to exercise the first, is 
not to me distinctly revealed, nor, perhaps, is it 
necessary ; let it suffice us to know, that without 



TO MISS P . 257 

him we can do nothing, that in his strength we 
can do all things, and like the poor man with 
the withered hand, believe and exert our endea- 
vours. 

Let the first chapter of the Second Epistle of 
Peter be read at your next meeting, and remem- 
ber me as present in spirit with you ; and the 
Lord Jesus be with you. Grace, mercy, and 
peace, be multiplied unto you. Love to all the 

family, and to dear Mrs. M . If you see my 

dear Mrs. C , give my love to her. Oh ! 

neglect not this poor lamb among you, and feed 
it for the Shepherd's sake. " Simon, son of Jonas, 
lovest thou me ? Feed my lambs." 

I. Graham. 



22* 



LETTER LII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO HER DAUGHTER, MRS. B , THEN 

IN SCOTLAND. 

August, 1801. 

MY DEAR J , 

Last evening our dear pastor bid us an 
affectionate adieu.* I spent the night writing 
letters to go with him, and have little time left to 
address those nearest my heart. 

Dear Mr. Mason ! Oh, how many hearts he 
carries with him. He avoided softening us, on 
his own account, last Sabbath ; scarcely alluded 
to his leaving, in his sermon, and what he said, 
was not with such pathos as he is master of. 



* Doctor J. M. Mason visited Britain to procure funds and books 
for the seminary of the Associate Reformed Church in America. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO HER DAUGHTER. 259 

After prayer and singing, he told us that in less 
than two days he expected to leave us, on his 
Master's business, according to a more particular 
intimation given two Sabbaths previous. That 
he had three requests to make. The first, that 
we would pray for him, that he might have a pros- 
perous journey, and be restored to us with multi- 
plied blessings. Second, that we would carefully 
avoid harsh constructions of the measures which re- 
quired this separation, — if we could not reconcile it 
to our own views, to judge at least charitably of the 
motives, and be silent. And lastly, that we would 
keep together in a body, and faithfully attend on 
the ministry which God had provided for us, and 
not to lay stress on earthen vessels, which could, 
of themselves, afford us nothing. He conjured 
us, if we loved him, to comply with this request, 
and not wound the feelings and weaken the hands 
of the faithful ministers of the Lord Jesus Christ ; 
and then added — 

" No doubt, my friends, no doubt, much infir- 
mity, much corruption, very much sin, have ac- 
companied my ministrations among you ; but, in 
respect to the truths I have preached, I take you 
to witness, I am free from the blood of all men, 



260 MRS. GRAHAM TO HER DAUGHTER. 

delivering, so far as I knew, the very truth of 
God's word, not regarding the opinions of men." 
He then spoke a few words to his aged fathers in 
Christ, acknowledging his obligations to their 
counsels, support, and consolation, and to their 
kind and tender dealings with him, and their for- 
bearance. To the young members, his joy and 
rejoicing in the Lord — to the children, the hope of 
the church, when we shall be gathered to our 
fathers : he finished with a blessing from Scrip- 
ture, and, " I bid you all an affectionate adieu." 
By this time he was nearly blind with weeping. 
And now he goes to you, and other dear friends 
in Britain. I am consoled, that your spirits will 

be refreshed. I hope our dear D. B will be 

made a help-mate to him, and that you will return 
together in the same vessel, piloted by the Master 
himself. The Lord, the Chief Shepherd, go with 
him, be with you, and remain with us, to bless 
and make blessings. 

Your affectionate Mother, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER LIII. 



FROM DIVIE BETHUNE TO MRS. GRAHAM. 

London, October 8, 1801. 

MY EVER DEAR MOTHER, 

How much you have increased our obliga- 
tions to you, by the kind, and uncommonly attentive, 

correspondence with my beloved J . We 

both regret that our return to it was so imperfect 
at Liverpool. They do not, as in New- York, 

put up bags in the coffee-house, and Mr. F 

and I trusted our letters to the care of our friends, 
who, it would appear by your receipt of them, 
had not been so judicious as they might have been, 
in the manner of forwarding them. It was great 

cause of thankfulness that our dear J got 

safe to the house and care of those who, though 
they cannot fully supply your place, are devoted, 
in their attention and interest, to her safety and 



262 DIVIE BATHUNE 

ease. The fears and anxieties I experienced on 
our journey from Liverpool to Dingwall, I cannot 
describe ; but it has just been, as all my life has 
been, a manifest proof of the riches, of the grace, 
and tender mercy of a faithful and compas- 
sionate God, against my unbelief, against my de- 
sert, and above the glimmering hope even of my 
boldest exercises of faith. Oh, how undeserving 
am I ! how full of grace is He! Every day, every 
scene, every experience of my life, confirms me 
more and more in the belief of that word of truth 
that dropped from the lips of the Word of life, 

" Without me ye can do nothing" Nay, not all 
the grace that all the people of God have ever re- 
ceived, can keep a Christian, the living Christian, 
for one day, fresh for every duty that he ought 
to be. 

The fountain must be ever flowing; the manna 
ever falling in this dry and parched wilderness ; 
treasured up, the manna rots ; laid at rest in the 
cistern, the water of life stagnates ; every new 
duty must have new grace from Heaven for its 
due performance. " For of Him, and through 
Him, and to Him, are all things, to whom be 
glory for ever. Amen." 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 263 

I have had many sweet and precious exercises 
of filial confidence of faith since my arrival in 
Britain. Seasons, I trust, of refreshing from be- 
fore the presence of the Lord, much communion 
with Christian brethren, and oh, what unmerited 
testimonies of attention and esteem from them ; 
yet I have had seasons too, that almost broke my 
heart,of a worldly undevoted spirit — of attention to 
the backsliding suggestions of a deceiving heart — 
a tendency to too much conformity with the world. 
These exercises have taught me how necessary 
to live for every duty, for every moment, on that 
dear Redeemer who has condescended to make 
himself my strength and my stay ; who has stoop- 
ed, oh wonderful exercise of pardoning mercy, 
to receive, with open arms, a rebel to his autho- 
rity, a breaker of his vows, a sinner against such 
unspeakable love. 

My situation here is trying to Christian sensi- 
bilities ; obliged to be constantly among men of 
the world, I want much of the talent which you 
possess, of being in friendship with the amiable but 
irreligious world, and yet preserving true Christian 
dignity, and circumspection of conduct, in all 
this intercourse. I have only just seen Mr. New- 



264 DIVIE BETHUNE 

ton. A pious merchant called on me, by direc- 
tion of the Rev. Mr. Bogue, of Gosport, with 
whom I got acquainted at Glasgow and Edin- 
burgh. I hope this will be a comfort to me ; but 
this is such a world of itself, that to see all the 
merchants to whom I have letters would of itself 
take two or three weeks. This makes me love 
Edinburgh. There I had not much business, and 
there I gave myself wholly to Christian society. 
Oh, I love Edinburgh. Here there are as many 
Christians, but my situation is not so eligible to 
improve their acquaintance. I meet the directors 
of the Missionary Society next Monday. 

I spent some pleasant days with our dear Mr. 
Mason. Providence favours him, and I trust his 
voyage will be made a blessing to America. 

How it rejoiced our hearts to hear of our be- 
loved friend Miss B 's coming out so decid- 
edly. She has made a wise choice. The Lord 
will comfort her. Let her trust him largely, He 
is a great God and great Saviour. He is a shield 
to them that trust in him. Oh that her example 
may be blessed to our young men ! Speak to 

J and W for me. Tell them I bear 

them on my mind ; that to make them merchants 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 265 

is nothing to making them Christians ; you know 
how to address them. The Lord give efficacy 
to the means of grace. Remember me also to 

my young friend G G , who, though not 

immediately under my care, I am also anxious 
about. 

May our covenant God be with our people in 
the absence of their pastor. Remember me most 
affectionately to all our Christian friends, and 
kindly to all acquaintances. My blessing on my 
child, love to all with you, from, 
My dear Mother, 

Your affectionate Son, 

Divie Bethune. 



23 



LETTER LIV. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO HER DAUGHTER WHEN IN SCOTLAND. 

New- York, January 23, 1802. 

MY DEAR J , 

I suppose by this time Mr. B has in- 
formed you, that it has pleased God to separate 

the loving cousins, and taken to himself I. S . 

The trial to me, you may suppose, is not small ; 
the circumstances that endeared the lovely pair, 
so peculiarly pleasing to me, are well known to 
you.* Old people's temporal comforts are gene- 
rally limited : many things that were pleasing, 
and innocently so, in youth, lose their charms in 
age. The few that remain, too often take stronger 



* They were born within a few days of each other, were bap- 
tized at the same time, and both received the name of Isabella 
Graham. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO HER DAUGHTER. 267 

hold than when the affections were more divided ; 
parental love is among the foremost. It is gene- 
rally thought to be stronger in the grand-parent, 
than in the parent's own breast. I would not wish 
it so, and thought to guard against it ; but the calls 
of duty drew this in connection. Be it so, — were 
it not needful that my heart should suffer still 
more, it would not be exercised by it. I have 
full confidence in the wisdom, power, and good- 
ness of our covenant God. He has done, he 
now does, and he will do, all things well. 

Into thy hand, my heavenly Father, my Re- 
deemer, and my Sanctifier, I commit all my per- 
sonal concerns, all the concerns of my children, 
and children's children. I ask one thing — it is a 
great boon — that to the latest generation my na- 
tural offspring may be thy spiritual seed ; this 
only I ask with importunity, and put a blank into 
thy hand for every thing beside. * * * 

You write in heroics of the beauties of Scot- 
land, especially of Ross-shire. Yes, Scotia, thou 
art a lovely land, and thy kind hearts are congenial 
with my own. Soon the lark and the thrush will 
tune their throats, with many other sweet cho- 
risters, which might tempt even me to quit my bed 
of sloth. 



238 MRS. GRAHAM TO HER DAUGHTER. 

Dear native land ! may every blessing from 
above and beneath be thine — serenity of sky- — sa- 
lubrity of air — fertility of soil — and pure and un- 
dented religion, inspire thy sons and thy daughters 
with grateful hearts, love to God and one 
another. 

The season is at hand, though I shall not see 
it with these eyes of flesh and blood ; but a still 
better country awaits me, a happier clime, fairer 
flowers, sweeter music, more exalted friendship, 
purer, extatic, yet eternal joys. There the re- 
deemed, from every country, shall meet and 
mingle in pure affection — Christ the bond of 
union and love. * * * * 



LETTER LV. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. W- 



Neiv-YorJc, July 27, 1802. 

My dear Mrs. W 's letter of the 12th lies 

before me. I received another since, but have 
left it, through mistake, in the other house.* I 
am now so rich in homes, that, like all other 
riches, my cares are increased by them, and my 
poor remains of memory sometimes burdened. 
Next to the intelligence of your own and family's 
health, and comfort^ for which I join my thanks 
with yours to the God of all grace, from whom 
cometb every good and perfect gift, and every 
comfort spiritual and temporal, I notice the 
place my dear minister holds in your judgment, 



* Mrs. Graham lived alternately with her children after de- 
clining business. 

23* 



270 MRS. GRAHAM 

and (for his Master's sake) affections. I love, I 
honour, I esteem him highly, for his work's sake. 
I obey him as having charge of my soul, and watch- 
ing over me, as one who must give account ; he is 
faithful, and will render that account with joy, and 
not with grief. I also love his person, for his 
own sake, with the love of friendship ; after all, 
he is not my God, nor is he my Bible ; neither is 
he Lord over my judgment, in matters not de- 
cided by any revelation. I make little doubt but 
he kept my letter from views of prudence, to 
prevent the accounts from Kentucky being circu- 
lated.* I desire not to censure him, and others; 
for the most part of the christians here who are 
esteemed men of sense and discernment, adopt 
the same conduct with Gamaliel on a former oc- 
casion ; others pronounce it enthusiasm, infection, 
and some spare not to pronounce it delusion ; 

* This conjecture was correct. Her pastor was aware of the 
powerful prejudices existing against the religious excitements in 
the West. Many pious persons, remote from the region, who, 
from the incidents attending it, suspected the genuineness of the 
revival, were afterwards convinced that it was the work of God. 
That Mrs. Graham, circumstanced as she was, should at that 
early period have formed so correct an opinion, proves the clear, 
ness of her judgment, and the liberality of her views. 



TO MRS. W . 271 

while some of the weaker sort, among whom class 
your friend, have formed different views, or other 
hopes of it. If upon Gamaliel-supposition this 
matter will come to nought, I must stand among 
the most credulous and most foolish of the fools, 
as my mind is nearly, though not decidedly, made 
up. One reason why these religious impressions 
gain no, or small, credit, as the work of God is, that 
the Methodists are the principal agents, as means, 
and they are by all other sects esteemed an en- 
thusiastic people : this, in my mind, proves noth- 
ing : be it so, that men have much against them ; 
be it, that God has, where is there perfection ? Of 
the seven churches of Asia, six were reprehended ; 
yet among them were some who had not defiled 
their garments, and thev walked with Christ in 
white. These indefatigable, laborious men have 
suffered all manner of hardships, the extremes of 
heat and cold, hunger, fatigue, contempt. In 
Virginia, near to the sea, where supported by the 
fertility of the soil, the labour of slaves and traffic, 
pride, luxury, and dissipation, hold their seat 
among a people of education ; here there is no 
temple to the known or unknown God. Here and 
there, perhaps, once in thirty or forty miles, 



272 MRS. GRAHAM 

stands the ruins of a methodist hovel for the wor- 
ship of the true God, even these could not be kept 
in repair ; yet even there, there are those who, 
in confused expressions, speak gospel truths ; the 
depravity of nature is felt and lamented, the 
grace of God, the blood of Christ, the price of 
pardon, and acceptance, and gospel precepts, are 
in some measure understood, and deniedness to 
the world, and self practised. These are the 
fruits of methodist preaching, in the back settle- 
ments ; among the mountains, there are many more 
who live to God, and acknowledge them their 
spiritual fathers. There are a few presbyterian 
churches in these parts, the ministers of which 
acknowledge that God has done much good by 
the methodists, both among black and white. 

It is now five years since these extraordinary 
appearances began, first among the methodists. I 
have it, from undoubted authority, that individuals, 
known personally to my informers, were the sub- 
jects of these violent agitations of body and mind, 
in the season, of what appeared to them, conver- 
sion, who have since given good evidence of it by 
their walk and conversation. These agitations 
have not, for two years, been confined to metho- 



TO MRS. W . 273 

dists : the very same appearances have accompa- 
nied the religious impressions, made on the minds 
of vast numbers under the preaching of presby- 
terian, and baptist ministers, all of whom are 
satisfied that it is the outpouring of the spirit on 
thousands, whatever agency or contrary spirit 
may be permitted in making counterfeits. 
Finding that the Lord honoured these men, that 
the harvest was great, and the labourers few, they 
have united their exertions, and are in those great 
gatherings in full communion. I have heard se- 
veral letters read from the most esteemed among 
them, which all speak the same things ; who dare 
despise whom God delights to honour ? God said 
to his ancient people, that he would provoke them 
to jealousy by a people which were not a people, 
and by a foolish nation he would anger them ; 
has he not, in effect, said the same to back- 
sliding corrupted churches, when about to re- 
move their candlestick f Has he not said some- 
thing like it to the church of Scotland, in the 
countenance he has given to this new sect ? Has 
he not been shaking all things, dignities, proper- 
ties, churches, and states . ? Has he not run his 
providences entirely above and contrary to the 



274 MRS. GRAHAM 

views of the wisest of the wise, with the prophecies 
in their hands ? Who shall say that he shall not 
step out of his ordinary course in overturning the 
kingdom of Satan, in a place where he seemed to 
reign, not only over willing slaves, but over the 
most daring avowed opposers of Zion's King ? 
and in days when a nation is to be born at once, 
are we sure that the time is circumscribed, when 
he shall pour out his spirit upon all flesh, and 
young men shall dream dreams, and old men see 
visions ? Is the extent of that Scripture confined 
to such a degree of conviction, as shall leave the 
members of the body at rest? " Thine arrows 
are sharp in the hearts of the King's enemies, 
whereby the people fall under thee." Is there 
not a spiritual meaning to the cviith Psalm. 
" They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken 
man, and are at their wit's end." And how do 
they find rest ? When the Lord maketh the storm 
a calm, and stilleth the waves, then are they 
glad, and he bringeth them to their desired 
haven — to peace and rest. Is all prophecy 
understood? By the multitude of camels, the 
dromedaries, the flocks of Kedar, the rams of 
Nebaioth, are understood the nations where these 



TO MRS. w . 275 

are natural to the soil and climate. Little has yet 
been discovered of this great continent, and 
its numerous inhabitants, yet are they, and it, the 
subject of prophecy, however concealed from the 
past and present generations. Perhaps we are 
the sons of strangers mentioned in the tenth verse 
of the same chapter, lxth of Isaiah, but I speak 
as a fool.* 



* This letter closes the correspondence of these dear friends. 
Mrs. Walker entered her rest October 19, 1802. A sketch of her 
life and happy death may be found in the second volume of the 
Memoirs of Eminently Pious Women. 

" Next to her family and friends she interested herself in those 
whom, in the sense of the instructive parable of the Samaritan, 
she found neighbours. For the needy, the young, and the ignorant, 
her purse, her exertions, her instructions, were ever ready. The 
interests of the church of God were her interests, and she took a 
warm interest in missionary exertions. Her mind was deeply im- 
pressed with public affairs ; strong washer love for her country ; 
her daily prayers were offered up for it and her king." She was 
one of the few pious friends who took Mrs. Graham by the hand, 
when desolate and neglected ; interested herself in her establish- 
ment at Edinburgh, and continued her unwearied friend through 
life. 



LETTER LVL 



EXTRACT OF A LETTER FROM MRS. GRAHAM TO MR. 
AND MRS. B , BALLSTON SPRINGS. 

yew-York, August, 1806. 

MY BELOVED CHILDREN, 

A husband, wife, and child, make a family, 
and God ought to be acknowledged by them as 
such. I am anxious that you should meet in 
your room for that purpose some time every 
morning. 

If it cannot be accomplished at an early hour, 
redeem that time in a later, and also before going 
to rest in the evening. The Lord has honoured 
your family worship with genuine fruits, follow it 
up in all places. Like Abraham of old, where 
ever you pitch your tent, for a longer or shorter 
period, there raise an altar to the Lord — to that 
God who has fed you all your life, carried you as 
on eagle's wings, and will carry you to old age 
and gray hairs. 



LETTER LVII. 



FROM THE LATE DOCTOR MORRISON TO MRS. GRAHAM. 

At sea long. 39°, north wesfjat. 36°. Lord's day, 
May 24, 1807. On board Ihe Trident. 

MY EVER DEAR MOTHER GRAHAM, 

I think you were led by the special inter- 
ference of our gracious Lord, to put into my 
hands the work which you did, accompanied by 
the edifying and comforting letter which you 
wrote me. 

I thank you for telling me what God did for 
your soul, and join with you in ascribing to the 
Lord, salvation and honour. I had, my mother, 
from the time of leaving my dear relations and 
friends, passed through waters deep as the fathom- 
less ocean which I crossed ; but with the Lord 
there is mercy ; with him is "plenteous redemp- 
tion." " He is ready to forgive." He has re- 

24 



278 DOCTOR MORRISON 

stored to me, in some measure, " the joy of his 
salvation," and will not, I trust, take his holy 
spirit from me. This is my prayer. 

To-day he enabled me, on board of this vessel, 
to open my lips to teach transgressors his way. 
O, that sinners may be converted unto him ! I 
had not made myself plain, in what might drop 
from me, relative to " looking to the pit." Un- 
questionably we are not to forget " the pit whence 
we are taken." Are we not to look at it, and ad- 
mire the power and grace that delivers from 
it ? Look at it, and cleave closer to Jesus. Lean 
more and more upon his arm ? 

Straits of Bania, August 17, 1807. 

I have now read over, to my comfort and edi- 
fication, the letter you so kindly wrote to me, on 
leaving New- York. I could not help opening my 
papers to mention it to you, that God may be 
glorified by manifold thanksgivings to him. 

Last Friday I was ashore at Anger Roads, in 
the Island of Java. The post received a letter 
from me to Mr. Bethune. The poor naked 
Malays on Java, as well as on the other islands, 
and the peninsula of Malacca, are duped by the 



TO MRS. GRAHAM. 279 

impositions of the man Mahomed. I was desirous 
of seeing their mosque, but was not permitted to 
enter it. Supposing there was no person in it, I 
looked in at the window, and unexpectedly saw a 
Malay sitting cross-legged, with his face toward 
Mecca, mumbling, in a plaintive tone, his de- 
votions. 

Canton, September 18. 

We had, in sailing through the Chinese seas, a 
rather tedious passage, and, on making the coast 
of China, the wind, for two days, headed us off 
the track that leads to Canton : however, in due 
time, the Lord brought me in safety to the place, 
whither the prayers of God's people followed me. 
On the 6th inst. we took a Chinese pilot on board, 
at the mouth of the Tigris, perhaps forty miles 
below Canton. It was the Sabbath, but very far 
from being a day of rest to me. Two days be- 
fore I had been on shore at Macoa, and had seen 
two of the persons to whom I had introductory 
letters from Europe : they gave me very little 
encouragement to hope that I should be able to 
continue, and hence I was all anxiety, though 
striving to roll all my cares on our Lord. 



280 DOCTOR MORRISON TO MRS. GRAHAM. 

I am now with Messrs. Milnor, to whom I had 
letters from Mr. Wolcott. At present I have an 
apartment in their factory, and hope I shall be 
able to continue. 

The Chinese wonder why I came, when they 
come to me and find that I neither have to sell, 
nor wish to buy. I, indeed, have to propose to 
their acceptance " the pearl of great price," but 
dare not yet mention it. The Lord has, in his 
good providence, thrown in my way, unsought 
for, a young Chinese, John Consequence, who 
was two years at Yale College, with Mr. Dwight. 
John does not seem to possess much talent, but he 
may be very useful to me. He offered to teach 
me Chinese, a circumstance which I by no means 
anticipated. 

Bless the Lord in my behalf, my dear mother, 
and sometimes remember, at a throne of grace, 
the voluntary exile, 

Yours, in the faith of Jesus, 

Robt. Morrison. 



LETTER LVIII. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. C- 



Greenwich, February 1, 1811. 

What infatuation is this ? I was writing to my 
dear child before she left New- York, and was de- 
lighted with the idea, that among the first objects 
that would meet her eye, on entering her solitary 
dwelling, would be a letter from Mother Graham. 
It was dictated and ready for the pen, but alas ! 
alas ! that pen has never reached the paper till this 
minute, nearly a month, instead of one day, after 
parting with my friend. I lost the first stimulus, at 

which I was very glad, for next day Mr. B 

told me, by the winds you had been favoured with, 
you might be in your own dwelling in forty-eight 
hours. Then my imagination began another 
letter with, " O, thou, of little faith, wherefore 
didst thou doubt ?" 

24* 



282 MRS. GRAHAM 

The principal part of the first was the circum- 
stances which took place after you left us, and the 
conversation, which I know would have gratified 
you much. I will only say that your dear self, 
family, present circumstances, and future pros- 
pects only, found room, till the glad news came 
that you had reached home the following evening. 

We were highly gratified to hear from the 
pulpit, " The prayers of this congregation are re- 
quested for a family gone to sea." We, and 
all interested in you through us, addressed our 
prayers to him whom winds and seas obey, in 
your behalf. I now occupy your room, and am 
reconciled to it ; the girls have taken up their 
quarters in my little niche. I find the Lord's 
presence the same here as there : this is my only 
solace, and it is enough. I have, as you know, 
enjoyed much in life, enjoyed its dearest, sweetest 
comforts, love and friendship, with a heart trem- 
blingly alive to both. Lover, and friends of youth, 
are long since gone, other friendships I have 
formed, and have been happy even in these ; now 
I am shut up with ails and aches. The world 
(properly so called) is a dead blank to me ; yet 
I do think I never enjoyed life more. I would 



TO MRS. C . 283 

not exchange my present happiness for the most 
transporting moments of my life, (of which I have 
had a large share,) though thousands of years were 
added to enjoy them. I do not mean barely that 
happiness which consists in the anticipation of 
pleasure beyond the grave, that is indeed de- 
lightful ; but I enjoy life now. Books of taste 
are mine no more : still less those of science and 
history ; but my dear Bible ! precious subjects ! 
my dear Saviour ! The height, the depth, the 
breadth, the length, of the glorious plan of re- 
demption, open to my delighted perception more 
and more, and the spirit witnesseth with my spi- 
rit, that I have my part in it by the gift of faith. 
I believe the record, that God giveth to us eternal 
life, and I put in my claim as a sinner. I ac- 
count it a " faithful saying, and worthy of all ac- 
ceptation, that Jesus Christ came into the world 
to save sinners, of whom I am chief." I still 
enjoy the ordinances of the gospel : my memory, 
as you know, is much impaired : I recollect very 
little of the sermons I hear; but, I think, I never 
heard with so much attention. I am delighted, 
instructed, and fed, at the time, and the subjects 
open to me without my being able to recollect the 



284 MRS. GRAHAM 

order or the words of the speaker. O, let me 
recommend this dear Lord to your heart and con- 
fidence ; commit all your concerns to him ; mis- 
trust no part of his providential dealings with you ; 
his wisdom shall manage for you, and you shall 
one day say, " He hath done all things well." 
Ask of him grace in the time of need, strength 
according to your day, and go forward in the path 
of duty, caring for nothing else, so as to be cum- 
bered. " Stretch out thy hand," said Christ to 
the man with the withered hand. He stretched 
it out. Strength was given in the attempt. " Go 
show yourselves to the priests," said Christ to the 
lepers, and " as they went they were cleansed." 
" Rise, take up thy bed and walk," was a com- 
mon command of our blessed Master to the im- 
potent. 

Do not, my dear, give way to Satan by abstain- 
ing from prayer, by supposed or real unfitness. 
When ruffled by temper, or cumbered with care, 
or in whatever trouble, flee to the hiding-place, cast 
yourself on your knees, saying, " God be merci- 
ful to me a sinner" — " Lord, help me." Confess 
your depravity and helplessness : utterance, most 
probably, will be given ; but, if not, go again and 



TO MRS. c . 285 

again, and wait and watch in hope. Do not be 
discouraged because you have little heart ex- 
ercise, only be humble, and lie low in the dust 
before God. When conscience charges you with 
sin, whether in former or later times, give way to 
the charge, and to all its aggravations. Confess, 
and lay your hand upon the head of the sacrifice, 
the lamb of God, who taketh away sin. I think 
my highest comforts have been preceded by such 
deep contrition. 

We were comforted by knowing that you had 
taken your servant with you. We had a severe 
snow-storm after you left us, with wind and rain. 
Has not the Lord been good to prepare your way, 
and " carry you on eagle's wings ?" 

My love to E— and F , and all the dear 

group. 

Yours, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER LIX. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MISS W , EDINBURGH. 

Neiv-York, 1812. 

My dear Miss W I think is in my debt, 

but that is no reason why I may not inquire after 
her health and welfare, and through her of that 
of her brother, sister, and other dear friends, 
yet in their pilgrimage. My dear, dear Mrs. 

W lives in my affections, and surely what 

concerns her children can never be to me a 
matter of indifference. Your dear brother's 
persevering kindness, and tried friendship, have 
written gratitude in indelible characters on my 
heart. " A friend in need is a friend indeed" — 
and such was he. I trust the Lord has re- 
warded and will reward him. I have still in my 
possession many dear remembrances of your 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MISS W . 287 

worthy mother ; her sensible pious letters, some of 
which have proved prophetic, are among my trea- 
sures. What a lovely group presses upon my 
memory at this moment, united to Jesus and to 
one another on earth, and the union is now per- 
fected in heaven. Your dear Mother, Mrs. 
Brown, dear Mrs. Randall, and Lady Glenorchy, 
all zealous for the welfare of the widow and or- 
phans, whose way lay peculiarly through Vanity 
Fair, and whose spirits were too much assimulated 
to the wares there exhibited, and most unworthy 
of all the care and pains they bestowed upon her. 
Tell my then dear pastor the pilgrim is not lost : 
he will find her in the xviiith chapter of Ezekiel : 
he may remember that he and dear Doctor Er- 
skine gave me over to the Lord when leaving 
Edinburgh. Well has He kept the charge, 
though I have not my part, after all the chastise- 
ments and charges received. But he is the Lord, 
the Lord God, merciful and gracious, slow to an- 
ger, abundant in goodness and truth, keeping 
mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, trangres- 
sion, and sin. 

* The late Doctor Davidson, of Muirhouse. 



288 MRS. GRAHAM TO MISS W- 



I am now a happy Mary, enjoying the full sense 
of pardon, and the light of his countenance in the 
mean time, and the full prospect of being soon 
with him, made like him, and capacitated to praise 
him. 

I. Graham. 



LETTER LX. 



SUBSTANCE OF A LETTER FROM MRS. GRAHAM TO 
MISS M , ONE OF HER FORMER PUPILS. 

New- York, April 4, 1814. 
You have reason, my dear, to mourn over 
your worldly mindedness, your coldness, your 
deadness, in the concerns of your immortal soul. 
Christ says, " one thing is needful," Luke x. 42. 
*' What is a man profited if he shall gain the 
whole world, and lose his own soul ? or what 
shall a man give in exchange for his soul ?" 
Matthew xvi. 26. " How shall we escape if we 
neglect so great salvation ?" Heb. ii. 3. It is 
proper that you should be serious and in earnest 
on a subject so important. An interest in Christ 
ought not only to be your highest wish, but till 
you have at least obtained a good hope, you 

25 



290 MRS. GRAHAM 

ought not to rest ; at the same time you may err 
in the speediest way of obtaining that hope. 

With regard to the degree of sorrow for sin, 
there is no rule in Scripture : we find the apostles 
of Christ, as soon as they found sinners, seeking 
salvation, directing their views to the Saviour. 
" What must I do to be saved ?" said the jailer. 
" Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ," said Paul 
and oilas, " and they spake unto him the word of 
the Lord, and to all that were in the house, and 
he believed, and was baptized, he and all his 
house;" and he gave evidence that he had re- 
ceived a new nature, for, in spite of consequences 
from the rulers, he washed the stripes of the 
apostles, and set meat before them. 

The Jews when charged with the guilt of mur- 
dering Christ, " were pricked in their heart, and 
said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, men 
and brethren, what shall we do ? Then Peter 
said unto them, repent, and be baptized, every 
one of you, in the name of Christ, for the remis- 
sion of sins, and ye shall receive the Holy Ghost ? 
and the same day there were added to the church 
about three thousand souls," Acts ii. 37 — 41. 
" What doth hinder me to be baptized f" said 



TO MISS M . 291 

the Ethiopian eunuch. " If thou believest with 
all thy heart, thou mayest," said Philip, Acts viii. 
36, 37. 

You say, " I did 'not give up my heart, I kept 
it back." Alas ! it is too much the case with 
many ; it was my own case for a long time ; it is 
but partially the Lord's still. It is your duty to 
strive to give up your heart, and while you strive 
God will give the power ; but he will give that 
power only in the order of his own appointment. 
Let me, my dear, lead you to my dear Saviour, 
he shall teach you. 

Take your Bible in your hand, sit down with 
your Saviour, and a crowd of gainsaying Jews, 
John vi. 28. " Then, said they unto him, what 
shall we do, that we might work the works of 
God ?" Jesus said unto them, " This is the 
work of God, that ye believe in him whom he hath 
sent." What are these Jews to believe ? turn 
back with me to the first chapter. Who does 
John say received power to become the sons of 
God ? The answer is in the 12th verse, " But as 
many as received him, to them gave he power to 
become the sons of God, even to them that be- 
lieve on his name." Now the third chapter. 



292 MRS. GRAHAM 

Think, my dear, for what purpose was the ser- 
pent raised upon a pole ? For a like purpose 
Jesus was lifted up upon the cross. Sinners are 
diseased, they cannot heal themselves. Christ 
says, Look unto me, and believe that I will 
heal you. Try this, and the like exercises. 

I wrote to you largely on this subject in my 
last ; but, my dear, it is your first business. 
What induced God to send his Son into the world, 
and for what purpose ? Answer, chap. iii. 17. 
" For God sent not his Son into the world to 
condemn the world, but that the world, through 
him, might be saved-" Are not you a worldling ? 
Did God then love you, and send his Son to 
save you ? Believe it. Who are they that are 
not condemned? verse 18, "he that believeth 
on him is not condemned." Believe it. Who 
are they that are condemned ? same verse. " But 
he that believeth not is condemned already, be- 
cause he hath not believed in the only begotten 
Son of God." 

For what are they condemned f Unbelief, my 
dear, that is the cause. Could you believe that 
God is in earnest when he says, he will save you 
in believing, I think you would try to credit 



to MISS M . 293 

him, and say, as in Mark ix. 23, 24, Jesus said, 
" All things are possible to him that believeth." 
The person answered, "Lord, I believe, help thou 
mine unbelief." I rather think I went over this 
subject, at great length, in my last, and promised 
to speak of good works in this ; but, some how, I 
cannot get at it ; because, till the soul be united to 
Christ, it is incapable of obedience. Union takes 
place on believing that God is reconciled. Turn 
with me to the 3rd chapter of 2nd Corinthians, 
begin at the 14th verse, and read to the end. 
Do you believe verse 16th, " nevertheless when 
it (the heart) shall turn to the Lord, the veil shall 
be taken away." What answer will you give to 
verse 17 ? " Now the Lord is that spirit : and 
where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." 
If you believe this, and many other passages 
to the same purpose, you shall soon find the 
love of God constraining you to love Him who 
first loved you ; then shall you be enabled to give 
your heart to God. Follow up the subject in 
another place, 1st Epistle of John, iii. 9, 10. 
Do you believe verse 9th ? "If we confess our 
sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, 
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 

25* 



294 MRS. GRAHAM 

Will you rest your soul's salvation upon it ? Now 
chapter v. 1st verse, " Whosoever believeth that 
Jesus is the Christ, is born of God." Observe 
what God says of them that believe. " They are 
born of God." Read the witness of God, verse 
9th, " If we receive the witness of men, the wit- 
ness of God is greater : for this is the witness of 
God, which he hath testified of his Son." 10th, 
" He that believeth on the Son of God, hath the 
witness in himself." Have you the witness in 
yourself that you do believe ? or will you make 
God a liar, by refusing to believe his testimony ? 
Look at " the record," verse 11th, " God hath 

given to us" (to you M M ) " eternal 

life, and this life is in his Son." Christ himself 
is the first gift to sinners, and those that accept him, 
are his children, made " heirs of God, joint heirs 
with Christ," Romans viii. 17. " These things have 

I written unto you," (M M ) " that believe 

on the name of the Son of God; that you may 
know that you have eternal life, and that you may 
believe on the name of the Son of God," 1st John 
v. 13. Verse 14, " And this is the confidence 
that we have in him, that if we ask any thing ac- 
cording to his will, he heareth us." Now, my 



TO MISS M -. 295 

dear, ask God for grace to enable you to give 
him your heart. 

What is grace ? In a general sense, it is free 
unmerited favour. When we ask grace, in order 
to the performance of any duty, or the exercise of 
any holy affection, we ask, that the holy spirit 
may propose to our souls such strong excitements, 
as shall engage the whole bent of our mind to that 
duty, or produce in us that holy affection. 

Now, in my own words, the substance of the 
whole is this : faith is God's appointed mean on 
the part of the sinner, by which He (God) com- 
municates to him spiritual life. Regeneration, or 
the new birth (synonymous terms) takes place in 
the moment of believing. The sinner was not 
regenerated before believing, but he is, in the act 
of receiving Christ, the Saviour, as he is offered 
in the gospel, and resting and relying upon him 
for the salvation of his soul. The law of God has 
no more hold of him, so as to condemn him. He 
is Christ's freeman, 1 Cor. vii. 22. The Father 
is reconciled ; owns him as his adopted child ; 
the Holy Ghost is given to him to renew him 
after the image of God ; he is made a partaker of 
Christ ; of his holy human nature, and progresses 



296 MRS. GRAHAM 

in holiness. Among those who hold to the form 
of sound words in the Scriptures of truth, there 
is some difference of opinion. Truth is ever 
the same, and all error is contrary to truth ; but, 
as perfection of practice is not on this side Hea- 
ven, perhaps there are few who deduce largely 
from Scripture, who do not, more or less, " spoil 
it" of its intrinsic purity. 

God's revealed truth must not stand at the bar 
of man's benighted reason. God has convinced 
the world that human wisdom " could not by 
searching find out God ;" and there are facts re- 
vealed which are above the investigation of human 
reason, and which men have darkened by wis- 
dom. Scripture is the best key to Scripture, 
and such parts as cannot be unlocked by Scrip- 
ture, are (in my opinion) better left as subjects of 
adoration or submission. 

All things necessary to salvation, to life, and to 
godliness, are revealed so plainly, that the most 
ordinary capacity may understand. 

But this is the condemnation, that men 
will not come to the light that they may 
be saved. " All Scripture is given by inspi- 
ration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for 



TO MISS M . 297 

reproof, for correction, for instruction in righte- 
ousness." 2nd Timothy, iii. and 16. Infallible for 
this reason, that both in substance and in language 
it is the production of the Holy Ghost, and all 
human deductions and assertions must be tested 
by that unerring rule. 

It was one of the evidences which Christ gave 
to the disciples of John, who were sent to him, 
to know if he was the Messiah, that " to the poor 
the gospel is preached," Luke vii. 22, and all 
are commanded to search the Scriptures. 

Preaching is an ordinance of God, yea, a prin- 
cipal and reasonable ordinance : men acquainted 
with the circumstances of the times, and the lan- 
guage in which the Scriptures were originally 
written, are best qualified to elucidate them, and 
they have the promise of God to be with them, 
and to lead them to all truth. God commended 
the Bereans, that they " searched the Scriptures 
daily, whether these things (which he preached) 
were so." Acts xvii. 11. So must you, my 
darling girl. You stand between a cold carnal 
unrenewed episcopalian, a warm pious Hopkin- 
sian, and a Scotch presbyterian colonist: much 
need have you to search the Scriptures for your- 
self. All of us hold to the form of sound words 



298 MRS. GRAHAM 

in the language of inspiration. The truth is in 
your church, your Prayer Book, your Homilies, 
but some of your ministers leave it out of their 
preaching: blessed be God, not all. And there 
are millions around the throne, from that church,* 
who have earnestly contended for the faith once 
delivered to the saints ; and with them join in the 
song of Moses and the lamb, that noble army of 
presbyterians from Scotland, Switzerland, Ger- 
many, &c, and the origin of them all, the noble 
army of martyrs, the Waldenses. The angel 
flying through Heaven with the everlasting gospel. 
The chief of the witnesses slain for the word of 
God. .(Bishop Newton.) There too sings with 
them the pious Hopkins, who now finds that none 
have the lot of glorifying God in Hell, who be- 
lieved in the Lord Jesus Christ, and rested on 
him for salvation as he did. There too, many of 
his followers have obtained the end of their faith, 
even the salvation of their souls, 1st Peter, 1 and 
9th, and many are now on their way to the sacred 
company of believers, where they shall see as 
they are seen. 

Though even there, they shall not be able to 

* The Episcopal Church. 



TO MISS M . 299 

search into, so as to comprehend, " The breadth 
and length, and height, and depth, of Christ, (for) 
n passeth knowledge." " The unsearchable 
riches of Christ." "Into which the angels desire 
to look," and learn from the church the mani- 
fold wisdom of God. Ephesians, iii. 10. 

Redemption, is the song of saints and angels 
in Heaven. 

Redeemer, the favourite name of the Son of 
God. 

The Lion of the tribe of Judah, the root and 
offspring of David, appears on the throne of God, 
" a lamb as it had been slain," and is the subject 
of the new song, first by the church in Heaven, 
then join the angels, then all in Heaven, earth, 
and sea, Rev. v. O, is not this subject enough 
for sinners ? the objects redeemed ! Does God 
require us, or desire us, to look above this ? and 
seek to glorify him in any way unconnected with 
this ? to love him for what he is in himself, uncon- 
nected with what he is to us. Do we know any 
thing at all of God but by Christ ? Who being the 
brightness of his glory, the express image of his 
person, and upholding all things by the word of 
his power, when he had by himself purged our 



300 MRS. GRAHAM 

sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty 
on high." Hebrews i. 3. 

What does God talk to us about ? Is it not 
about the salvation of our souls. My dear, is it 
not so ? God requires us to love him with all our 
heart, soul, strength, and mind, and what are the 
inducements? O, they are strong. He first loved 
us, and gave his only begotten son to be the pro- 
pitiation, the atonement for the sin of our enmity. 
It is his love that overcomes the sinner's enmity. 
Nothing else but a firm faith in the love of God 
will do it. " No man knoweth the Father but the 
Son, and he to whom the Son shall reveal him." 
Does he hold this of his Father, that we should be 
willing to be separated from him for ever? I 
know no where in Scripture where Christ uses 
such strange language, but the reverse. John 
xvii. 24. " Father, I will that they also whom 
thou hast given me, be with me where I am ; that 
they may behold my glory, which thou hast given 
me : for thou lovedst me before the foundation 
of the world." Also 25th and 26th verses. 

O, the condescension of our God ! that he 
should commune with, and manifest himself to, 
all that hold the Head. 



TO MISS M . 301 

Salvation in, by, and through, Christ. 
" The wages of sin is death : but the gift of God 
is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord. 
There is therefore now no condemnation to them 
which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after 
the flesh, but after the spirit." Rom. viii. 1. Paul 
can speak of nothing else. 

How I have run on. I fear I am wrong. You 

love Mr. F -. Love him, my dear. If he 

bears his Master's image, he is his. Perhaps I 
should not meddle between you. You may go to 
Heaven with him. God will bless the truth which 
he holds, and he will pardon his errors. Of all 
the seven churches in Asia, to only one Christ 
said, " Hold fast that which thou hast :" to one 
more, " Be faithful till I come." He had some- 
thing against all the others, and perhaps he has 
something against mine. 

I live chiefly in my Bible. The deep things of 
God I leave in his own infinity. I stand in awe of 
Scripture words ; I read ; I believe ; but upon some 
parts I will not reason ; I cannot comprehend what 
God can. He can reconcile what I cannot. 

I " wail the great teacher death, 
And God adore." 

26 



302 MRS. GRAHAM TO MISS M- 



I know not what to say to your leaving the 
church. I rather think you had better wait a little 
longer. Go and hear where you receive the most 
benefit. I charge you, my dear, be in earnest 
with God. It is his commandment that you be- 
lieve in his Son. The duty is yours, the power 
his. It is his ordinary way to give the command, 
and while the sinner aims the power is given. 

Observe this in almost all the miracles which 

he wrought. I cannot, my dear M , part with 

you. I am, if the Lord give grace, willing to 
travail, as in birth, till Christ be formed in your 
soul. Read, pray, watch, try to trust in Christ. 
" So shall you know if you follow on to know 
the Lord." Have you " Doddridge's Rise and 
Progress of Religion in the Soul ?" I know no 
one book that has been so much blest. It was my 
own guide along with my Bible : it is itself half 
Scripture. If you have it not, do, my dear, get 
it ; begin even with the Introduction, and read 
with prayer. He was a most laborious minister 
and guide of youth. 

Write me all that is in your heart, even if your 
views differ from mine, it will not lessen my love. 

I. Graham. 



LETTER LXI. 



MRS. GRAHAM TO MRS. C- 



Greemvich, June 5, 1814. 

MY DEAR FRIEND, 

I did not expect to hear from you in a letter 
addressed to myself, or to any of my children 
sooner, for all the reasons which you enumerate ; 
many of which I knew, and others I could sup- 
pose. Neither did I think of writing to you of 
the change which has taken place, or rather has 

been brought to a crisis in your daughter J 's 

mind, till I could make some further observations. 
She, herself, has written, and I hesitate no longer 
to follow her example. I think, notwithstanding 
what I believe of the deceitfulness of the human 
heart, I may congratulate you on the second 
birth, of your second child. She has had a hard 
conflict, but that makes the result appear more 



304 MRS. GRAHAM 

decided. The Lord himself has dealt with her, 
first, and last. I confess I felt great difficulty 
and responsibility. I durst not depart an inch 
from God's own word, and in the very language 
of inspiration. I advised her to purchase Dod- 
dridge's Rise and Progress, &c, which she did, 
and the Lord blessed it to her. She is now 
resting on her Saviour, but in such a way, that 
she dreads to let him out of her sight for one mi- 
nute. She has a view of God's salvation as all 
planned and finished, as to justification by him- 
self. She looks to the great atonement for pardon 
and peace — other foundation she has none. She 
has a right to lay hold on Christ's strength, and to 
believe that he will sustain her ; and this she 
does, though the fear of drawing back, quivers, 
as it were, about her heart. As to her peculiar 
situation towards those around her, the Lord has 
led her in that too, better than either you or I would 
have advised. I did advise her not to volunteer 
suffering, but said the Lord would no doubt call 
for sacrifice in the course of his providence, in the 
daily intercourse with the world, which would 
eventually draw forth her principles, and form her 
profession. 



TO MRS. C . 305 

This you see he has already done. She re- 
quires of me no secresy. I asked her if I was at 
liberty to gladden the hearts of any of God's 
people, she answered that she had no wish to hide 
her views, as she had no desire to return to the 
world. Thus she sets out, and God will lead 
her, guide her, and honour himself by her. 

Neither Mr. nor Mrs. B have any doubt of 

the genuineness of her exercises. In her open 
profession she sets an example to her mother, 
who, I think, had she owned her Lord and his 
people more, would have enjoyed more of his 
presence, and have made greater advances in re- 
ligious knowledge, and have enjoyed more stable 
comfort. 

I now wish to hear particularly about yourself, 
as respects your temporal and spiritual interests. 
I am sorry to hear that F continues so deli- 
cate. Does L continue as attentive to reli- 
gious duties as she used to be ? J has given 

me a very pleasant account of her. I pray it may 
be according to your prayers and hopes. If the 
Lord give to you and yours the blessings of his 
new covenant, he will make you content with small 
things of a worldly kind. " Seek ye first the 

26* 



306 MRS. GRAHAM TO MISS C . 

kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all 
these things shall be added unto you." 

We have now been a month at Greenwich, in 
the midst of sweets. I enjoy much ease, but am 
feeble — waiting my dismission with patience — 
every earthly good is gathered into my cup, and 
I have also no inconsiderable share of the Lord's 
presence. Yet sin is in this heart, and I long to 
be delivered. 

" To be where thou, my Saviour, art, 
To see and be conformed to thee ; 
Perfect in holiness this heart, 
This, this, is heaven itself to me." 

Give my love to your children, and also to Mrs. 

G , who will share in your joy. 

I am, as ever, your affectionate Friend, 

I. Graham. 



LETTER LXII. 



EXTRACTS FROM THE PRIVATE PAPERS OF THE LATE 
DIVIE BETHUNE, MRS. GRAHAM "s SON-IN-LAW. 

Sabbath Evening, July 31, 1814. 

It is now my duty to record an event, afflict- 
ing, yet consoling to my soul. The decease, and 
translation to heaven, of my beloved and precious 
mother, Isabella Graham. Her soul has passed 
into glory, and her body rests in the grave, until 
the resurrection — precious dust of a precious 
soul! 

On Thursday, the 19th of this month, my be- 
loved mother was attacked by cholera morbus ; on 
the 22d it assumed a more serious character ; on 
the 23d she expressed a wish to see her dear 
friend, Mrs. Mary Christie, between whom and 
herself a reciprocal engagement existed, that one 



308 EXTRACTS FROM THE PRIVATE PAPERS 

should attend the dying bed of the other, as the 
Lord might be pleased to call either of them first. 
A lethargic state, allied to stupor, succeeded the 
cholera morbus, and our dear mother took little 
notice of what was passing. On Sabbath morning, 
the 24th, she roused on seeing me ; and calling 
me to her embrace, she, in the most affectionate 
manner, declared to me her expectation that she 
was going home to her Lord, and, with much 
contrition for her sins, expressed the sweetest and 
strongest assurance that she would go to her Sa- 
viour. 

My dear Mrs. B having sent a line re- 
questing prayers for an aged believer to three 
churches, the Rev. Dr. Mason called to see my 
beloved mother, between sermons, conversed and 
prayed with her. She received him with affection 

and satisfaction. The Rev. Mr. R prayed 

with her on the 25th, and she expressed her firm 
hope, through faith, in her dear Redeemer, in an- 
swer to some of his questions. 

After this she held no regular conversation, 
and took but little notice of those around her, ex- 
cepting to ask me to pray with her, and at different 
times, by short sentences, expressing to Mrs. 



OF THE LATE DIVIE BETHUNE. 309 

B her hope, her safety, and her joy, at the 

immediate prospect of entering on her heavenly 

REST. 

Surrounded by her children and children's 
children, as well as many weeping friends, she 
resigned her spirit to her Lord in the most peace- 
ful manner, without a struggle or unpleasant look : 
her end was emphatically peace. 

She breathed her last at fifteen minutes after 
twelve o'clock, (midnight) Thursday, 26th July, 
or, as it may be reckoned, early on the morning of 
the 27th July. 

On the two Sabbath days preceding the Tues- 
day on which her complaint attacked her, she had 
joined in communion at the Lord's table. On 
the 10th, at the village church, and on the 17th at 
our own church in Cedar-street. On each week 
preceding these two seasons, she attended three 
evenings on religious exercises. On Thursdays 
at the Orphan Asylum ; on Saturday evenings 
at the prayer meetings of our church ; and on 
Friday evenings the preparatory sermons. 

She appeared lively, and expressed her comfort 
in those religious seasons, and continued actively 
useful until the very day on which her illness com- 



310 EXTRACTS FROM THE PRIVATE PAPERS 

menced. On Monday the 18th, she appeared in 
perfect health, visited and gave religious instruc- 
tion to the orphans in the Asylum ; and on the 
Sabbath, the morning of the 17th, she attended 
her Sabbath school, along with her daughter and 
grand-children. Thus the Lord was pleased to 
direct that she should lead her children's chil- 
dren, J- and I , into the walks of useful- 
ness, before she took her flight to heaven ; thus 
imposing a pleasing obligation on them that they 
should follow her steps. 

O Lord, my blessed and covenant God, my 
soul delights to praise thee for thy rich goodness 
to my beloved mother in life and death ! But a 
fortnight ago, she trod this vale of tears, seeing 
but through a glass darkly, a pilgrim like myself; 
but now she is before the throne, clothed in a 
white garment, and a palm in her hand. The 
lamb in the midst of the throne, the blessed Jesus, 
whom she loved, now leads her to the fountain of 
living waters, and Thou hast wiped all tears from 
her eyes. Thanks and praises be to our blessed 
Lord for such rich salvation ! 

O, my heavenly Father, bless me and mine with 
grace and strength to travel all the road, in holi- 



OF THE LATE DIVIE BETHUNE. 311 

ness and faith, till we also enter through the gates 
into the heavenly city. Especially, be pleased 
to pour down a spirit of grace and supplication, 
that we may pray unto thee more frequently and 
fervently than ever; for thou knowest, O our God, 
that much praying breath hath now left our habi- 
tation ; who knows but our praying mother 
brought a blessing upon us as thine ark did to the 
house of Obed Edom. O thou, who hast taken 
our beloved mother to glory, do not forget us, 
thy children, who are left behind ! Let thy bless- 
ing yet continue with us, for the Redeemer's sake ; 
make us a family whom thou hast blessed ! And 
may ardent piety, evangelical obedience, and ex- 
tensive usefulness, be granted to us, out of the 
rich supplies treasured up for us in our covenant 
head and divine Saviour! Amen. 



313 



Before closing this volume, it may be permitted 
to the daughter of Mrs. Graham to say, that never 
was there stronger affection between a mother and a 
son than subsisted between her and her son-in-law, 
Divie Bethune. The evening previous to that ill- 
ness, which terminated in her death, she remarked, 
incidentally, that she had lived fourteen years in his 
family, and he had never once wounded her feelings. 

The following tribute to his character, by the be- 
loved mother, he so faithfully cherished, is extracted 
from a letter addressed to a friend, and not delivered 
until after her decease : 

" According to knowledge, observation, and even 
investigation, Divie Bethune stands, in my mind, in 
temper, conduct, and conversation, the nearest to 
the gospel standard, of any man or woman, I ever 
knew as intimately. Devoted to his God, to his 
church, to his family, to all to whom he may have 
opportunity of doing good, duty is his governing- 
principle ; cast upon his care, under God he nou- 
rishes me with kindness," &c. 

They have both entered their rest. One sepul- 
chre contains their sleeping dust, and one monument 



314 



reared by the survivor of a happy trio, who, for 
many years, " took sweet counsel together, and 
walked to the house of God in company," bears 
the following tribute to their memory : 

SACRED 

TO THE MEMORY OF 

DIVIE BETHl'NE, 

MERCHANT OF THIS CITY. 

WHO DIED SEPTEMBER 18, 1S24 : 

AGED 53 YEARS. 

and of 

ISABELLA GRAHAM, 

HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW, 

WHO DIED JULY 27, 1514, 

AGED 72 YEARS. 

THEY WERE BOTH NATIVES OF SCOTLAND. 

THIS MONUMENT 

Is reared by his bereaved Widow, and her orphan Daughter, 

A.s a testimonial of two servants of Jesus Christ ; 

The one a ruling Elder in his Church, the other a Mother in Israel, 

Who, like Enoch, walked with God, 

Like Abraham, obtained the righteousness of Faith, 

And, like Paul, finished their course with joy. 

They were lovely andpleasant in their lives, and they rest here together 

in their graves. 

" The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon them ; and they caused the 
widow's heart to sing for joy." - -Job xxix. 13. 

• Oh! how great is thy goodness, which thon hast laid up for them that fear thee ; 
which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men.''- -Pta '•■ 
xxxi. 19. 



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